The Cosmic Butt Kick

2004-08-19T11:56:00.000-04:00

Lipstickmystic.com is Up and Running!

Yay! My new website, http://www.lipstickmystic.com, is finally up and running. You can access my new blog from there. Just go to the main page and click on the little star that says "blog." That will direct you to http://lipstickmystic.blogspot.com, where I will be posting all future blog entries. I'll be making frequent changes to the website, and I will be writing in the blog nearly every day.

I invite questions, comments, and your own mystical experiences, because I will be responding to these and posting many of them in my new Mystic Mail section. Also, if you have an astrological conundrum, do write to me, and I can take a quick peek at your chart and give you some tips on how to surf the cosmic waves with a minimum of trouble.

So, sniff, I guess it's time to bid adieu to this blog. After writing in it for over a year, I feel like it has become a family member. You've been good to me, Butt Kick! I'll miss ya!

Still, I can't feel too sad. After all, I am the proud mother of a new bouncing baby website, and I just can't wait for all of my readers to find their way there.

So come join the party at http://www.lipstickmystic.com. Something groovy is always happening in the Mystic Zone!

editor@lipstickmystic.com

2004-08-10T12:03:00.000-04:00

Please Bookmark My New Blog Address

Hi everyone. I'm in the process of launching my new website, and from there, you'll be able to access my new blog. The blog is operative right now, and the site is mostly viewable, with a few occasionally glitches as we add new features. Call it a "soft launch" at this point. The whole thing should be finalized by September 2nd at the latest. (That's when Mercury is out of retrograde, so I figure that most problems should be smoothed over by then.)

The new website if you'd like to bookmark it is:

www.lipstickmystic.com

You can access my new blog from the website. Just go to the site and hit the little star that says "blog." That will take you to the new blog. Or you can bookmark it directly:

http://lipstickmystic.blogspot.com

I can't wait for you to see the finished site! I'll have lots of changing articles, guest interviews, astro-updates, Q &A features from readers, and more. This is going to function more as a dynamically changing e-zine than just some boring resume in space (like so many websites are.) And you won't find articles about the aliens landing and taking over the planet, the coming destruction of the Earth, or conspiracy theories that are so depressing that they're guaranteed to leave you curled up in a pile of your own filth, sucking your thumb from sheer overwhelm. (Those sites have their place, but geez, lighten up, people! Every month, it seems that some New Age type is saying that the world is going to end tomorrow. All these announcements do is send people into fear and panic. And you know what? Last time I checked, the world was still here.)

Okay, I must run and do more work creating groovy material for the site. It's so exciting! I feel like an expectant mother ready to give birth to, well, something.

editor@lipstickmystic.com

2004-08-05T21:02:00.000-04:00

Time is Acting Strange

Okay, this is an official survey of sorts. Has time been acting strange in YOUR reality lately?

I ask because it has been in mine, and it has been with many other people I'm coming across, too.

I'm not just talking about a feeling of deja vu, which we've all had. You know what that's like. That's when an event that you are experiencing seems to go into "instant replay" in your mind, as if you are watching things play out for the second time in a row. Somehow, you know that you've seen that scene, heard that particular conversation, or observed that person before. And yet, logically, you know that you COULDN'T have.

I had a very strong deja vu two days ago coming back from a trip to Florida. Standing in the baggage claim, my honey and I were trying to figure out if we were standing at the right place. The information was a little confusing on the TV screens that were above us. He went to go check things out. When he got back, I went into this extremely strong deja vu where I looked at a girl standing in front of us who was also waiting for her bags, then I looked at him, and then I looked up at the TV screen for more info about our bags, and then I listened as my sweetie told me the luggage carousel had been changed and our luggage would now be coming out of a different chute. As this whole sequence of minor events happened, I was very aware of knowing exactly what was going to happen next. I knew I was going to hear him say that the luggage carousel had been changed right after I saw the girl, because somehow, I'd seen it all happen before. It was like it was all a re-enactment or a repeat of an earlier time it had happened.

But yesterday, time was acting even more strange. My honey went through a weird spell in the afternoon when he had to write a check, and as he was writing the date, part of him wasn't clear what year this was, even though he was PRETTY sure it was 2004. There was a sudden lack of awareness about the year, a feeling of unreality about it all. It had us a little spooked, quite frankly, because you always worry about a minor stroke when something like that happens. Fortunately, we had him checked out, and he was fine.

I've had things happen lately where I wake up in the morning from a vivid dream that seems to take place in a parallel reality (a world different from this one, yet somehow linked to it) and, when I wake up, I'm not sure what the time is, either. I sometimes don't know the day or the month or the year! It's a brief thing, but I'll tell you, when your awareness of time suddenly seems to slip away from you (and you haven't been smoking anything weird lately or drinking yourself into a stupor,) it's a little scary!

I was emailing a friend about this, and she shared with me that some strange stuff has been happening for HER with time, especially yesterday, around the same time this weird displacement in time was happening with us. She had her clock on her computer go wonky on her. (No biggie, I know, because computer clocks can be notoriously inaccurate.) But then other clocks in her house were suddenly off, and it wasn't logical. I mean, when you have different types of clocks that are normally synchronized suddenly stop or show up with a time that's an hour ahead or an hour behind, does that make sense?

It's as if the very thing that the clocks were measuring - i.e., time itself- was behaving badly, and it wasn't letting itself be measured in the usual way.

Have YOU been experiencing any time burps? Any temporal anomalies? Any time warps? What do you call these things, anyway? When a whole bunch of people are experiencing them who are way too young to be Alzheimer's candidates and who can't be completely, collectively, crazy (although sometimes we come close!) then just what is going on?

Send your time warp stories to me at:

editor@lipstickmystic.com

****Please note that I will be shifting out of writing entries in this blog and will be making most of my future entries at a new blog site. This new blog will accompany my website, and the blog is already up and running now. You might want to bookmark it:

http://lipstickmystic.blogspot.com

See you there!

2004-07-29T11:21:00.000-04:00

Request for Your Input

As I prepare to launch my new website in a few weeks, I'm putting together articles, Q &A features, and all manner of goodies. I can't wait to share them with you.

It came to me as I was going through past articles and features that I've written that I'd love to receive more input from YOU, my loyal readers, about what areas of holistic health, spirituality, and psychic phenomena interest you the most. Lipstickmystic.com is a site designed to give YOU user-friendly and fun insights about how to better access the intuitive and mystical aspects of your life. I'm sort of the Dear Abby of the New Age, and, while I've already collected lots of comments and questions from people, I'd love to receive more questions from YOU about what's on your mind TODAY regarding these topics.

So I invite you to submit questions to me, and I may post responses to your emails at the site. You're welcome to just use your initials and your location (a lot of readers, say, don't mind being identified as A. R, Boston, Massachusetts, but they don't want their entire name and contact info posted.) I can assure you that if you want your personal info kept private, it will be.

I will be out of town and out of computer range until next Tuesday, but in the meantime, you are welcome to send me your comments, suggestions, and questions for my new site.

What do YOU most want to see talked about at the site?

Are there any features you'd be most enthusiastic about seeing - such as astrology updates, discussion forum, "How-to" articles on a specific subject?

Is there anything you are sick and tired of in the "New Age/alternative" community, stuff that you'd like the site to steer clear of? (I can tell you now that this will not function as a paranoid conspiracy website and that it won't promote any cult ideology or negative stuff. However, it will empower you to have more "street smarts" as you navigate the world of the New Age.)

Do you have any personal experiences that involve intuition, the paranormal, or holistic healing that you'd like to briefly share in a letter to the editor? If so, I may respond with comments and post to the site.

Thanks very much in advance for contributing your suggestions and ideas. My website designer is working hard to put together a site that will be THE hottest place for mystical fun and intuitive insight on the Net! I can't wait for you to see it.

More soon,
Jennifer
newagetalk@comcast.net

2004-07-27T13:45:00.000-04:00

The Perils of Publishing

Yikes! The more I delve into this self-publishing business, the more insidious and chilling things I learn about traditional publishing. For instance, did you know that:

1) When an author works with a traditional publishing house, they are lucky to earn $1.00 per book for each book sold? And these earnings trickle in roughly two and a half years after the book has been completed?

2) When an author works with a traditional publishing house, there is an extremely narrow time frame for a book to "succeed." Authors are given about a three month window after their book is published to turn their book into a big seller. Then, if the books aren't selling well, the book may no longer be shipped to stores. Space is a big consideration, and there just isn't room for all bookstores to stock every book that is newly in print.

3) If an author's book doesn't sell well within that time window and it is no longer actively being supplied to stores, it goes into a weird book purgatory where the title is still listed as being in print, yet it's not physically in stores. Authors who want to move to a self-publishing model for that book are screwed because the printing rights don't revert back to them until it has been removed from the listing in catalogues (which happens, basically, never.)

4) Even if an author self-publishes, getting into bookstores may not be a very smart move for them. Distributors and wholesalers (the middle men who are actually the ones who get your book into bookstores with their sales reps pushing titles) take such huge discounts on your book that you are lucky to BREAK EVEN on each book you sell through a distributor or wholesaler and through a bookstore.

Publishing is a business. I think you have to run it like one. Businesses are supposed to turn a profit, right? Authors really need to keep this in mind instead of getting all caught up in the artist's dream of seeing their book in print. They need to take more control of the reins so that their rights will be actively protected. I don't know about you, but I don't think it makes any sense for a professional writer not to earn money from their writing, does it? You don't, say, go into hairdressing just for the privilege of seeing your hairdos on people's heads. You do get paid for your time and energy. And you don't perform brain surgery just to feel good about helping people (although the better doctors do still care about their patients.) You expect to be paid something for your expertise, your blood, sweat, and tears.

I think the problem is that the publishing industry has become way out of whack. Publishers are afraid to invest in an untested author even when they love the author's writing because they are in fear of their distributors and wholesalers. For instance, about half of the editors at major publishing houses who liked my book proposal and sample chapters earlier this year said they'd love to publish me but didn't think that I had a wide enough reach across the U.S. to sell books. (I think this verbiage was straight out of their marketing/salespeople's mouths.) I found that strange, as I have over 2 million readers and have a background in radio and can make a phone call TOMORROW and get on dozens of radio stations (because morning show producers LOVE having an astrologer or psychic on who will do readings over the air. They are dying to find polished, funny psychics, especially ones with a performing background, like I have.) So my plan has always been to move into a routine where I'm on at least a dozen shows per month for the life of my book, in addition to maintaining a fun, active website and writing for tons of publications. You'd think that this would be a winning strategy, don't you? But some of the editors actually said, "It's not like she has a TV show or anything." As if, to be a professionally published book author, you have to have a TV show first!

Absolutely insane. Breathtakingly so.

This dialogue was happening even though a well-known TV producer has been pitching my unpublished life story for development as a sitcom. I'm certainly closer to "having a TV show" than a lot of other writers. But I don't think that should even figure into the equation. Quality writing, a winning marketing strategy, and solid credits SHOULD be able to get you a book contract, ideally speaking.

I walked away from the whole process of submitting to major publishers some months back. Their reality was far too dysfunctional. You know how the media in general seems to bent on making people feel too fat, too ugly, too poor, too whatever? And how these picture perfect celebritites are thrown in our faces? Well, it turns out that publishing conducts itself like a Hollywood business. No matter how good you think you are, the traditional publishing industry will quickly tell you that you've got it wrong - you're no good at all.

I approach it now like I would any personal relationship. You wouldn't maintain a romantic relationship with someone who was always telling you you were no good. Neither should you build a financial future with a business that is bent on making you feel like dirt and filling your head with senseless distractions that have nothing to do with writing, reaching people, inspiring and entertaining readers, or spreading mystical and spiritual information across the land.

That's what it's all about for me, and it's great to return to some semblance of sanity and to get back to basics.

So - the plan is to market my books directly off my website and through a 1-800 number which will take you to the handy fulfillment center I'm contracting with to handle all of my orders. That frees me up to write cool articles, quizzes, and features for YOU, my loyal readers, plus connect with you via the radio, and allows me to do what I feel highly motivated to do - namely, empower you with information and ideas that will add to your quality of life and lift your spirits.

That's what it's always been about.

newagetalk@comcast.net

2004-07-24T16:35:00.000-04:00

Mysterious Creature Lurks in Baltimore County!

Well, really, he's just a little hairy cuss, kind of cute, rather wombat or dingo-ish looking. But a man photographed an anomalous creature recently in his backyard, and scientists haven't been able to identify it as any known species.

You can read about the critter and check out the photos here:

http://www.thewbalchannel.com/news/3545312/detail.html

There have been a lot of reports lately about animals that appear to have fallen through the cracks from another dimension. Not all of these accounts can be fake. There are simply too many stories with accompanying video or photos. Most of these creatures don't appear to be harmful. They're not man-eaters. They are simply strange beings who don't clearly belong to any one species, and they have animal experts baffled.

Mystics, Native American seers, New Agers, and many others have long been saying that we're in the process of shifting dimensions, and there's an alteration of how we experience life here in this reality. Some people say this is an external thing - that the very Earth herself is shifting into a new type of energy, carrying us along with her. And others talk about humanity experiencing a shift in consciousness, which will affect how we perceive life on Earth. I don't know about you, but in the relatively short (35 years) I've been on this planet, I feel that the way I process information, sense energy, and experience time have all shifted. Things don't seem to proceed in a straight line for me anymore. It's hard to describe, but it really does feel like the fabric of time is changing.

Also, my psychic senses have increased quite a lot since my initial awakening at 16. I don't know that this makes me "special" in any way. In fact, I don't think it does. It's more like the way our brains and nervous systems respond to our environment is shifting, and for some people, these changes are more noticeable than others. For me, I live a quiet life and make room in my schedule for lots of meditation time. (Sometimes known as contemplating the interior of my eyelids - aka a nap!) So I seem to take heed of things that are odd, intriguing, or synchronistic in my life, and I always have part of my attention focused on mystical matters. Many people don't do this, and I think that's why they may not be noticing changes as much. One thing that EVERYBODY seems to be experiencing, though, is an apparent collapse of time. Time is shorter, and it seems sped up and a bit funky. I think this has to do with the energy shifts that are happening here.

Along the way, as these shifts happen, holes or rips in the fabric of space/time can open up. I believe this might account for animals suddenly appearing who have never been seen before on this planet. Maybe they are part of a NEW planet that is right here in front of us. Or perhaps they're slipping in through portals from other worlds.

I wouldn't put too much stock in the whole weird animal sighting thing if I hadn't experienced this myself. I'm fortunate enough to live on a lovely farm in the country which is built on sacred ground. Rose quartz appears naturally here in the rock bed, and the farm's name is Crystal Springs Farm because there are several natural springs here. The energy here is very special, and mystical energies seem to gather here. We're sitting right on some powerful vortices, ley lines of Earth energy, and we regularly do shamanic healing work to clear out the area as best we can.

On several occasions, my honey and I have seen a strange animal on the property who doesn't fit any known species. He's a little guy, a bit like the critter you'll see in the above-referenced article about the animal who appeared i n that Baltimore area backyard. He kind of looks like a cross between a coyote, a fox, and a wild dog, but he also has the long tail of a wildcat. But he's not a cat. Dark-colored. About the size of a medium-sized dog.

I've seen coyotes in the wild before, and it's not a coyote. We also have several foxes who live nearby. (In fact, I had the pleasure of watching an adorable red fox the other evening frolicking in a field outside, trying to catch butterflies.) This unusual or "anomalous" creature definitely isn't a fox. And I know my wildcats pretty well, and this isn't in the feline family.

Others in the area have described seeing this same creature on their property, so we know we're not delusional.

So, we figure he's just a visitor, perhaps a messenger to let us know that there are these occasional "bleed-throughs" from other realities and dimensions as we undergo these planetary shifts. I think this is all a good thing.

Have YOU seen anything unusual lately? And what are your thoughts on the creature I described? Is it time for me to call Scully and Mulder, do you think? :)

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-07-19T18:46:00.000-04:00

Are You Successful Yet?

Today I spent an hour at my favorite coffeehouse, scribbling away on my latest horoscope column, hoping that the caffeine in my pot of Earl Gray tea would jump-start my brain and inspire the 40 or so jokes I have to work into each weekly Cosmic Butt Kick. Let me tell you, some weeks, it ain't easy. I feel like I'm doing a fresh comedy routine each week, only that would be easier. First I have to research all the astrological information on what the planets are doing. Then I have to spend hours looking up recent news events and getting my facts straight. Then I throw it all together and create a unique cosmic gumbo that, hopefully, will be tasty to readers and put a smile on their face. Writing this column is the big hurdle of the week, the thing that takes up all of my thoughts and energy. Any other work I'm trying to do comes after and around that.

While I appreciate having the opportunity to reach readers through my syndicated column, I also appreciate being paid. And, sometimes, clients just "forget" to pay me. The arts weeklies who are kind enough to publish me are all struggling, and some months, that advertising revenue doesn't come in as quickly as the accounting department might like, and my invoices get "misplaced." Still, my column is published each week, along with my byline, so I can at least have the satisfaction? pride? misplaced sense of hubris? that I can still call myself a professional writer. Even if you're paid pennies, or, as has been the case lately, a dribble of pennies every other month or so, you're still a professional.

Besides writing the column, I'm constantly submitting proposals and "spec" material to other publications - magazines, websites, newspapers - you name it. And, oh, yes, I've been involved with a ludicrous and exhausting "chase for fame" over the past two years. I've written four book proposals, which is like writing your dissertation four times - not a pleasant process. With all the marketing research, outlines, PR material, and sample chapters I had to include, all available brain cells were taken up with creating that stuff. The chase for fame is winding down now, thank goodness. Life is returning to some semblance of sanity.

Some.

At the coffeehouse today I bumped into my buddy Rudy, a friendly, sharp and creative fellow whom I chat with a couple of times each month. We've had some lovely discussions over the past two years that I've known him, rambling on about everything from child-rearing to psychology to religion. Along the way, I've kept him updated about the latest blow-by-blow of my publishing misadventures. He's my cheerleader, always egging me on, encouraging my efforts.

Today he was excited to see me. I would have enjoyed chatting with him for a while, but, alas, I was on another deadline and my brains were fried. No circuits were free for random chit-chat, and he sensed that. He sweetly wiped a table clean of crumbs for me so I could spread out all of my notebooks and messy papers (the detritus of the writer.) He asked me, "So tell me, are you successful yet? I'm rooting for you! I want to see your name up in lights."

Am I successful yet?

Well, I woke up healthy, well-fed, housed in a nice home, next to my honey and surrounded by adoring cats. That's successful.

I woke up without depleted uranium polluting my environment and ruining my neighborhood's health for the next century or so (unlike some people in Iraq and Afghanistan.)

I woke up knowing that, much as the power of censorship is alive and well, I could express myself openly and fully, in written or spoken form, without fear of arrest (at least for the moment.)

I do feel very blessed and abundant in all of the things that really count, and I truly give thanks for these things every day.

And I know that Rudy, bless his heart, was just eager for the latest update about my TV and book publishing adventures.

But it's funny - all I could think was - what creates success? Is it something we define for ourselves, or is it something we allow others to define for us? Is it an inner state or an outer one? Is it ours, or does it belong to somebody else? Is it an experience we are having or an experience others are having about us?

Am I unsuccessful because I don't have a TV show in development based on my unpublished memoir, even though a producer pitched it last year and might pitch it again sometime in 2004?

Am I unsuccessful because I haven't won the lottery lately? (Or ever, for that matter.) Does my lack of millions mean that I'm a failure? I haven't been able to loll about naked, fondling oodles of cash in recent months. Does that mean I'm a complete loser?

What about the approbation of people in the New York publishing world? As my proposals made the round last year, a good percentage of the editors who saw my stuff said I was a great writer and they'd love to publish me, but when they took my material to their sales director, marketing staff, and PR people, those folks said that they didn't think I had a big enough readership to guarantee that my book could "break out" in its category.

That one was a head scratcher. I have over 2 million readers. I am the author of over 3000 professionally published columns, articles, essays, and humor pieces. I've appeared on dozens of radio stations and will be on many more in the years to come.

What do you need, exactly, to land a book contract with a major publisher?   Is it even possible anymore for people whose last name doesn't happen to be Clinton to receive a book contract, with even the customary average advance of $10,000 (15% of which goes to your literary agent?)

Am I not successful because of other people's lack of vision, commitment, passion, or "enthusiasm? " (That's the stock response of editors when they don't like your stuff.  "Thanks for the opportunity to read this, but I'm afraid it didn't generate sufficient enthusiasm to justify a contract at this time.")

Just how does a book proposal generate "enthusiasm?" Does it need to come equipped with a little cheerleader inside who will jump up and down while waving her pom-poms? If so, I wasn't informed about it. Guess I missed the boat on that one.

It was a very heady and exhausting two years, expecting a publishing or TV contract any moment and ending up with, well, the experience of having been, by turns, hopeful, exhausted, and then resigned. This January an editor was dangling a potential six figure deal in front of me and made noises about doing a series with me.

What teases they all are. How happy I am to have my life back, quiet though it is. My immediate sphere of influence is currently devoid of managers, agents, and publicists, and I have to say that I like it very much.

Self-publishing is now more affordable, available, and practical than it has ever been. And when you have a 30 book series like I do that you're working on, and nobody else is willing to pony up any cash to help you birth your babies, you just gotta do it yourself.

Loyal readers, please be patient. My website should be up by the end of August or early September at the latest. Meanwhile, books and articles and lots of fun stuff are on their way.

I've just had to do a lot of adapting as various other pathways to publication have dried up.

Oh, I could have kept submitting my material through the nice agent I was working with at the end. Many smaller, quirky publishers would have probably loved my stuff. They would have paid me $2000-$10,000 and it would have taken two years before the book came out. I'd still be expected to do all of the marketing myself, and there would be no guarantee that my book would ever make it to bookstores, much less be sitting on the shelves for more than three months. (The average release doesn't stay in a store long. If the books aren't flying off the shelves into the hands of eager customers, they tend to get remaindered and shipped back to the warehouse.)

I've realized that my level of commitment about getting these works into print is very high. I'm not willing to barter with my soul or my creative energy, allowing others to control the sales, marketing, and distribution process. (Especially when there's zero money in it if I do it their way, anyway.)

Sigh.

So I didn't really know what to tell Rudy when he asked "Are you succesful yet?" meaning "Have others trumpeted your talents and desireability to the world?"

I think success has a different definition.

Success is being a sovereign being whom nobody else owns, controls, harms, or limits. Success is taking your message to the people directly and letting them decide if they like it.

I've made a lot of adjustments to my attitude over the past six months. I'm no longer waiting for Hollywood to call. Well, I shouldn't say that. I did just email my producer friend to see if she is still interested in pitching my material for the 2005 season. She has a new sitcom on the fall lineup for 2004, which is great, but I don't know if that means there's no room to do my project or if it just means she'd like to pitch it as a season replacement or alternative project.

Or maybe my Hollywood karma is all dried up. That's okay, too. I was never too certain of it, anyway.

There are many ways to reach people. There are many ways to spread love, laughter, and ideas.

I'll get there, one way or another.

And, if my soul remains intact, I'll consider myself a success. That's what it's all about - honoring your spirit's yearnings and the inspiration of the heart, and not letting anybody steal them away from you.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-07-15T14:37:00.000-04:00

What Kind of Tree are You?

This is a neat personality guide that is pretty much in line with Celtic mythology, which has a long tradition of honoring the energy and intelligence of trees. According to this guide, I'm a weeping willow, which I think fits my personality well. Check below to see what kind of tree YOU are.

*Note - I was unable to find the original source or writer of this material. If someone knows the author, I will be happy to provide attribution in a follow-up post. Thanks! -- Jennifer

Dec 23 to Dec 31 - Apple Tree
Jan 01 to Jan 11 - Fir Tree
Jan 12 to Jan 24 - Elm Tree
Jan 25 to Feb 03 - Cypress Tree
Feb 04 to Feb 08 - Poplar Tree
Feb 09 to Feb 18 - Cedar Tree
Feb 19 to Feb 28 - Pine Tree
Mar 01 to Mar 10 - Weeping Willow Tree
Mar 11 to Mar 20 - Lime Tree
Mar 21 - Oak Tree
Mar 22 to Mar 31 - Hazelnut Tree
Apr 01 to Apr 10 - Rowan Tree
Apr 11 to Apr 20 - Maple Tree
April 21 to April 30 - Walnut
May 01 to May 14 - Poplar Tree
May 15 to May 24 - Chestnut Tree
May 25 to Jun 03 - Ash Tree
Jun 04 to Jun 13 - Hornbeam Tree
Jun 14 to Jun 23 - Fig Tree
Jun 24 - Birch Tree
Jun 25 to Jul 04 - Apple Tree
Jul 05 to Jul 14 - Fir Tree
Jul 15 to Jul 25 - Elm Tree
Jul 26 to Aug 04 - Cypress Tree
Aug 05 to Aug 13 - Poplar Tree
Aug 14 to Aug 23 - Cedar Tree
Aug 24 to Sep 02 - Pine Tree
Sep 03 to Sep 12 - Weeping Willow Tree
Sep 13 to Sep 22 - Lime Tree
Sep 23 - Olive Tree
Sep 24 to Oct 03 - Hazelnut Tree
Oct 04 to Oct 13 - Rowan Tree
Oct 14 to Oct 23 - Maple Tree
Oct 24 to Nov 11 - Walnut Tree
Nov 12 to Nov 21 - Chestnut Tree
Nov 22 to Dec 01 - Ash Tree
Dec 02 to Dec 11 - Hornbeam Tree
Dec 12 to Dec 21 - Fig Tree
Dec 22 - Beech Tree

APPLE TREE(the Love) - of slight build, lots of charm, appeal, and
attraction, pleasant aura, flirtatious, adventurous, sensitive, always in love, wants to love and be loved, faithful and tender partner,very generous, scientific talents, lives for today, a carefree philosopher with imagination.

ASH TREE(the Ambition) - uncommonly attractive, vivacious, impulsive, demanding, does not care for criticism, ambitious, intelligent,talented, likes to play with fate, can be egotistic, very reliable and trustworthy, faithful and prudent lover, sometimes brains rule over the heart, but takes partnership very seriously.

BEECH TREE(the Creative) - has good taste, concerned about its looks, materialistic, good organization of life and career, economical, good leader, takes no unnecessary risks, reasonable, splendid lifetime companion, keen on keeping fit (diets, sports, etc.)

BIRCH TREE(the inspiration) - vivacious, attractive, elegant,friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like anything in excess, abhors the vulgar,loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination,little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

CEDAR TREE(the Confidence) - of rare beauty, knows how to adapt,likes luxury, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, likes to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

CHESTNUT TREE(the Honesty) - of unusual beauty,does not want to impress,well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.

CYPRESS TREE(the Faithfulness) - strong, muscular, adaptable, takes
what life has to give, content, optimistic, craves money and acknowledgment, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful,quick-tempered, unruly, pedantic, and careless.

ELM TREE(the Noble-mindedness) - pleasant shape,tasteful clothes,
modest demands, tends not to forgive mistakes, cheerful, likes to lead but not to obey, honest and faithful partner, likes making decisions for others, noble-minded, generous, good sense of humor, practical.

FIG TREE(the Sensibility) - very strong, a bit self-willed,independent, does not allow contradiction or arguments, loves life, its family, children and animals, a bit of a social butterfly, good sense of humor, likes idleness and laziness, of practical talent and intelligence.

FIR TREE(the Mysterious) - extraordinary taste, dignity,sophisticated, loves anything beautiful, moody, stubborn, tends to egoism but cares for those close to them, rather modest, very ambitious, talented, industrious,uncontented lover, many friends, many foes, very reliable

HAZELNUT TREE(the Extraordinary) - charming, undemanding, very
understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for
social cause, popular, moody, and capricious lover, honest, and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgment.

HORNBEAM TREE(the Good Taste) - of cool beauty, cares for its looks
and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgement in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

LIME TREE(the Doubt) - accepts what life dishes out in a composed
way, hates fighting, stress, and labor, dislikes laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous but loyal.

MAPLE TREE(Independence of Mind) - no ordinary person, full of
imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud,
self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has
many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

OAK TREE(the Brave) - robust nature, courageous, strong,
unrelenting, independent, sensible, does not like change, keeps its feet on the ground, person of action.

OLIVE TREE(the Wisdom) - loves sun, warmth and kind feelings,
reasonable, balanced, avoids aggression and violence, tolerant, cheerful,calm, well-developed sense of justice, sensitive,
empathetic, free of jealousy, loves to read and the company of sophisticated people.

PINE TREE(the Particular) - loves agreeable company, very robust,knows how to make life comfortable, very active, natural, good companion, but seldom friendly, falls easily in love but its passion burns out quickly, gives up easily, everything disappointments until it finds its ideal, trustworthy, practical.

POPLAR TREE(the Uncertainty) - looks very decorative, not very
self-confident, only courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and
pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity,
artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy,
reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

ROWAN TREE(the Sensitivity) - full of charm, cheerful, gifted
without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

WALNUT TREE(the Passion) - unrelenting, strange and full of
contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist,very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

WEEPING WILLOW(the Melancholy) - beautiful but full of melancholy,
attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful and tasteful,
loves to travel, dreamer, restless, capricious, honest, can be
influenced but is not easy to live with, demanding, good intuition,
suffers in love but finds sometimes an anchoring partner.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-07-07T21:52:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, Technology Sucks!

Okay, I consider myself to be a grown-up. I always thought I was street-smart, to a certain extent, at least when it came to cruising the Internet. I knew that there were bad guys out there, that emails might be contaminated with viruses even when friends send them to you, and that viewing pop-up ads and doing instant messaging are all to be considered dangerous activities, computer-wise - akin to kissing someone right after you've been introduced, before you know where he's been.

But what's a girl to do when she has virus software in place, scans her computer regularly for unwanted stuff, and STILL ends up with a NEW COMPUTER crashing in less than four months after she starts using it?

Well, suffice it to say that a certain amount of crying, cursing, and gnashing of teeth has been involved. Plus deep, dark, and moody stares at Kirby, my desk cat, who is of course in no way to blame, innocent fuzzball that she is.

And also suffice it to say that, with a computer seizing up every five minutes and refusing to even restart (I guess it's just tired of me by now,) that this hasn't exactly been my most fruitful week, writing-wise. ARRGH.

This is all a roundabout way of saying mea culpa, I don't have a significantly inspiring or cheerful blog entry to write for you today.

However - my wonderful website designer is simply outdoing herself with all of the cool features she's putting together for my new website, and I'm totally psyched about getting it up and running. I still have material to put together for it, but I'm trying to keep it relatively simple. It should be up before too long and, when it is, you loyal blog readers will be the first to know about it!

So - please just say some prayers to the technology gods on my behalf. I know that this computer crisis will pass, that it's not the end of the world, and that yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. Or a big lottery win. Or expanded credit. Or something. Or maybe that six figure book advance I was supposed to get this January but didn't because the editor was a goofball will suddenly drop through a probability wormhole and end up in my post office box through some cosmic mistake.

You never know.

Here's hoping you won't catch technology cooties from me,
Jennifer

2004-07-01T15:45:00.000-04:00

Full Moon Stirs up Stuff

I just wanted to give everyone a heads up about Friday's full moon. It occurs at 7:09 am EST (on July 2nd.) Why is this significant? Well, many people find that their dreams appear to be most vivid during the three days leading up to the full moon and coming out of the full moon. So these next few days could potentially be a great time to harvest dreams for your dream journal, if you enjoy keeping one.

Myself, I try to write in my dream journal a minimum of four or five times per month. Writing down my dreams helps me to "decode" some of the things that I'm absorbing from my environment, the people around me, and global issues. It's amazing how much our subconscious minds can take in! Dreams tend to bring all of this stuff that your brain is processing to the forefront. You can learn a lot about your energy system by examining your dreaming life.

Of course, sometimes, you can just get a little freaked out. I'm still trying to wrap my head around a recent dream I had in which I was fighting aliens with a big staple gun. This weapon seemed totally appropriate in the dream, and the nasty aliens were very grumpy as I lobbed these huge metal staples at them. I felt very Xena the Warrior Princess in the dream, kicking alien butt. It was only after I woke up that I went, "Staple gun???"

I spoke to my mom today, and she mentioned how her dreams have been unusually vivid for a day or two. Then I remembered that the full moon was coming up. Even when a person rarely retains memory of their dreams, the full moon period will usually prompt more retention of images, emotions, and events that happen in your dreaming life. So you'll tend to remember a lot more of your dreams during the full moon.

Why is this, you might ask?

Well, some of it may be purely chemical. Since our bodies are made up of 3/4ths water and the moon is proven to generate the ocean's tides, it stands to reason that the moon might exert some sort of pull on the water in our own bodies. Many people contend that the water in our body is affected by the moon, and this seems to be borne out by all of those studies you hear about ER visits increasing during a full moon, crimes and chaotic events being more frequent during that time, etc.

The Native Americans and many other indigenous peoples talk about the full moon being a time of purging, in which any toxic emotions or unresolved issues that have been stewing over the past month (or "moonth," and months were originally called) will come to a head. So if you're feeling cranky or out of sorts, try to take some time to connect with what is going on inside of you. There may be old emotions, thoughtforms, or incidents that you need to release. One remedy I love is the sea salt tub. Take some sea salt and baking soda and soak yourself in a nice warm tub for about 20 - 30 minutes. This not only relieves muscle aches, but it seems to clear out that psychic "goo" that we too often carry around, giving us a fresh start and a more positive outlook.

Okay, these are Jennifer's "spa" tips for the day! I invite your input about what you experience and feel during this full moon time.

By the way, since this full moon occurs in the practical sign of Capricorn, there could be a decidedly businesslike feel to Friday and the weekend. Even if you're going away on vacation, you may well be in a serious mood, planning your schedule for the rest of the summer, making "to do" lists, and just generally focusing on how to improve your daily life. People with their sun, moon, or rising sign in Capricorn will feel especialy grounded and clear.

Here are the dates for the next full moons:

Saturday, July 31st, 2:05 pm EST Full moon in Aquarius

Sunday, August 29, 10:22 p.m. EST Full moon in Pisces

Tuesday, September 28, 9:09 am EST Full moon in Aries

Enjoy!
newagetalk@comcast.net

2004-06-30T18:45:00.000-04:00

A Cup of Good Cheer

Lately I’ve been having fun dipping into the works of a classic writer, a spiritual teacher and artist who was far ahead of her time. Her name was Florence Scovel Shinn, and she is most famous for having written the short but wisdom-filled book, The Game of Life and How to Play It. Written in 1925, this book is still available in stores today. There is also a wonderful collection of all four of her books available.

She used simple language to describe powerful metaphysical truths, mostly focusing on the importance of mind over matter, teaching people how to begin manifesting real changes in the world of 3-D. She includes simple affirmations that help you to deprogram from a lifetime of poor self-esteem, lack of energy or money, and all of those other things that we are far too prone to having. The best thing is that her books are filled with personal anecdotes based on the experiences of real people she coached. You’ll read about how people changed their cash flow around or achieved business success. You’ll learn about how thoughts and attitudes influence love relationships, all explained through the real life adventures of people that Florence worked with.

Here is a brief bio on her:

Florence Scovel Shinn
Florence Shinn here was a skilled artist who lived in New York City during the early twentieth century. She also became known as a skilled metaphysical teacher and spiritual luminary. Her lectures were well-attended and her books, including the classic The Game of Life and How to Play It, have been very popular since the 1920s. Florence Scovel Shinn is widely appreciated as one of the greatest American spiritual teachers of the twentieth century.

Here is some info on The Game of Life and How to Play It, which Florence self-published.

The Game of Life

Originally published in 1925, The Game of Life has become a spiritual classic. In a down-to-earth style filled with anecdotes, the book covers such topics as prosperity, healing, forgiveness, faith, and Divine Design. "Most people consider life a battle -- but it is not a battle, it is a game," writes Florence Shinn -- a "great game of Giving and Receiving." In this game, our mind is the most powerful tool we have, and it is a tool that much be used properly in order to attain happiness and peace. Please note: some minor modifications to the text have been made for clarity. Otherwise, the text is as it originally appeared.

I’m including a couple of brief excerpts from The Game. If these ideas resonate for you, I encourage you to access the website below, where the entire book is viewable online for free. Enjoy!

Florence Scovel Shinn
The Game of Life and How to Play It
Chapter 3: The Power of the Word

(On the power of words)
"By thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned."

A person knowing the power of the word, becomes very careful of his conversation. He has only to watch the reaction of his words to know that they do "not return void." Through his spoken word, man is continually making laws for himself.

I knew a man who said, "I always miss a car. It invariably pulls out just as I arrive."

His daughter said: "I always catch a car. It's sure to come just as I get there." This occurred for years. Each had made a separate law for himself, one of failure, one of success. This is the psychology of superstitions.

(On health)
The body may be renewed and transformed through the spoken word and clear vision, and disease be completely wiped out of the consciousness. The metaphysician knows that all disease has a mental correspondence, and in order to heal the body one must first "heal the soul."

The soul is the subconscious mind, and it must be "saved" from wrong thinking.

In the twenty-third psalm, we read: "He restoreth my soul." This means that the subconscious mind or soul, must be restored with the right ideas, and the "mystical marriage" is the marriage of the soul and the spirit, or the subconscious and superconscious mind. They must be one. When the subconscious is flooded with the perfect ideas of the superconscious, God and man are one. "I and the Father are one." That is, he is one with the realm of perfect ideas; he is the man made in God's likeness and image (imagination) and is given power and dominion over all created things, his mind, body and affairs.

It is safe to say that all sickness and unhappiness come from the violation of the law of love. A new commandment I give unto you, "Love one another," and in the Game of Life, love or good-will takes every trick.

Chapter 7: Love
Every man on this planet is taking his initiation in love. "A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another." Ouspensky states, in "Tertium Organum," that "love is a cosmic phenomenon," and opens to man the fourth dimensional world, "The World of the Wondrous."

Real love is selfless and free from fear. It pours itself out upon the object of its affection, without demanding any return. Its joy is in the joy of giving. Love is God in manifestation, and the strongest magnetic force in the universe. Pure, unselfish love draws to itself its own; it does not need to seek or demand. Scarcely anyone has the faintest conception of real love. Man is selfish, tyrannical or fearful in his affections, thereby losing the thing he loves. Jealousy is the worst enemy of love, for the imagination runs riot, seeing the loved one attracted to another, and invariably these fears objectify if they are not neutralized.

For example: A woman came to me in deep distress. The man she loved had left her for other women, and said he never intended to marry her. She was torn with jealousy and resentment and said she hoped he would suffer as he had made her suffer; and added, "How could he leave me when I loved him so much?"

I replied, "You are not loving that man, you are hating him," and added, "You can never receive what you have never given. Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love. Perfect yourself on this man. Give him a perfect, unselfish love, demanding nothing in return. Do not criticize or condemn, and bless him wherever his is."

She replied, "No, I won't bless him unless I know where he is!" she said.

"Well," I said, "that is not real love."

"When you send out real love, real love will return to you, either from this man or his equivalent, for if this man is not the divine selection, you will not want him. As you are one with God, you are one with the love which belongs to you by divine right."

Several months passed, and matters remained about the same, but she was working conscientiously with herself. I said, "When you are no longer disturbed by his cruelty, he will cease to be cruel, as you are attracting it through your own emotions."

Then I told her of a brotherhood in India, who never said, "Good Morning" to each other. They used these words: "I salute the Divinity in you." They saluted the divinity in every man, and in the wild animals in the jungle, and they were never harmed, for they saw only God in every living thing. I said, "Salute the divinity in this man, and say, 'I see your divine self only. I see you as God see you, perfect, made in His image and likeness.'"

She found she was becoming more poised, and gradually losing her resentment. He was a Captain, and she always called him "The Cap."

One day, she said, suddenly, "God bless the Cap wherever he is."

I replied: "Now that is real love, and when you have become a 'complete circle,' and are no longer disturbed by the situation, you will have his love, or attract its equivalent."

I was moving at this time, and did not have a telephone, so was out of touch with her for a few weeks, when one morning I received a letter saying, "We are married."

At the earliest opportunity, I paid her a call. My first words were, "What happened?"

"Oh," she exclaimed, "a miracle! One day I woke up and all suffering had ceased. I saw him that evening and he asked me to marry him. We were married in about a week, and I have never seen a more devoted man."

There is an old saying: "No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher."

SPIRITSIGHT.COM

2004-06-28T16:28:00.000-04:00

Busy Bee Here

My apologies for not writing more in this blog, loyal readers! It's not that I'm not eager to share tons of stuff with you - far from it! I'm just channelling much of my writing energy into my new website and my book just now. My website will launch this summer, and it will be filled with articles, Q&A features, free tea leaf readings, astrology updates, discussion, and more. I'll announce the launch here as it gets closer to time. Also, if you would like me to send you an email notice about the launch, I can do that, too. Just email me at: shepherdjen@comcast.net, and I'll be sure to put you on the VIP list.

Since the energy of the summer solstice kicked in(June 21st,) I've been more aware than ever how much you really CAN find yourself living in a completely different reality from other people, even finding yourself separated from loved ones and close friends. What I mean by this is that the very energy I bring to my daily life, which is generally light, playful, spontaneous, and intuitive, has become more important for me to preserve. I'm less and less willing to participate in negative thoughtforms and attitudes. You know how when you spend time with grumpy or paranoid people, it just pulls your own energy down? I'm becoming much more aware of how much negativitiy is on the Internet, especially in alternative news groups and discussion groups.

There is negativity going on on this planet, so don't get me wrong. I realize you can't completely ignore it. But the real battles that are being waged have very little to do with the messes over in Iraq and Afghanistan. It's more about the consciousness that has CREATED those things, doing battle with that.

On a metaphysical level, the angels and spiritual guides are working on shifting the vibration of the Earth on a permanent level, and there is a lot of resistance going on. Negative beings, both in body and discarnate, are doing their best to put a monkey wrench in the works. But their main weapon is fear. Every time you let yourself sink into depression or fear, the bad guys win. You can only create a more harmonious reality by BEING harmony. You can only generate a positive emotional environment by BEING in positive emotion.

I know, these sound like airy fairy goals in some ways. But I just watch these small interactions each day with people as I go about doing things, and I've become much more aware of how I'll be in this incredibly creative and clear space, working on my book, and I can just talk with someone for a few minutes and they will POOP all over my creations. They don't mean to, of course. Maybe my friend is just having a bad day and can't help being a little negative in her tone. I understand that, we all go through that.

But when you're creating a thought bubble or hologram, as I am with my books and my website, I've found that you have to be a little protective of it. Its like, "Get your filthy thoughtforms off of me!" You don't want the "cling factor" of other people's goop to distort the energy you're trying to bring to your work.

Sometimes, it's best to create in stealth, in secret, and only announce your creations to others after you've finished!

I'm designing my website to become a really fun hangout for people who have some interest in mystical subjects, psychic development, and practical forms of spirituality such as self-healing, understanding dreams, learning to meditate and invoke in a powerful way. I know that you'll love it, so I should end this post right now and continue working on it!

In the meantime, guard your thoughts and creations like a mother hen and protect your own sense of peace and well-being. There are a lot of people and influences out there that would like to drag you down.

Best,
Jennifer
shepherdjen@comcast.net

2004-06-25T10:48:00.001-04:00

Busy Bee Here

I just wanted to make a brief post before the week completely evaporated. My apologies for not having more to share in this blog, loyal readers! It's not that I don't have anything to share with you - far from it! I'm just channelling much of my writing energy into my new website and my book just now. My website will launch this summer, and it will be filled with articles, Q&A features, free tea leaf readings, astrology updates, discussion, and more. I'll announce the launch here as it gets closer to time. Also, if you would like me to send you an email notice about the launch, I can do that, too. Just email me at: shepherdjen@comcast.net, and I'll be sure to put you on the VIP list.

Since the energy of the summer solstice kicked in this week (June 21st,) I've been more aware than ever how much you really CAN find yourself living in a completely different reality from other people, even finding yourself separated from loved ones and close friends. What I mean by this is that the very energy I bring to my daily life, which is generally light, playful, spontaneous, and intuitive, has become more important for me to preserve. I'm less and less willing to participate in negative thoughtforms and attitudes. You know how when you spend time with grumpy or paranoid people, it just pulls your own energy down? I'm becoming much more aware of how much negativitiy is on the Internet, especially in alternative news groups and discussion groups.

There is negativity going on on this planet, so don't get me wrong. I realize you can't completely ignore it. But the real battles that are being waged have very little to do with the mess over in Iraq and Afghanistan. On a metaphysical level, the angels and spiritual guides are working on shifting the vibration of the Earth on a permanent level, and there is a lot of resistance going on. Negative beings, both in body and discarnate, are doing their best to put a monkey wrench in the works. But their main weapon is fear. Every time you let yourself sink into depression or fear, the bad guys win. You can only create a more harmonious reality by BEING harmony. You can only generate a positive emotional environment by BEING in positive emotion.

I know, these sound like airy fairy goals in some ways. But I just watch these small interactions each day with people as I go about doing things, and I've become much more aware of how I'll be in this incredibly creative and clear space, working on my book, and I can just talk with someone for a few minutes and they will POOP all over my creations. They don't mean to, of course. Maybe my friend is just having a bad day and can't help being a little negative in their tone. I understand that, we all go through that.

But when you're creating a thought bubble or hologram, as I am with my books and my website, I've found that you have to be a little protective of it. Its like, "Get your filthy thoughtforms off of me!" You don't want the "cling factor" of other people's goop to distort the energy you're trying to bring to your work.

Sometimes, it's best to create in stealth, in secret, and only announce your creations to others after you've finished!

I'm designing my website to become a really positive, fun, and interesting hangout for people who have some interest in mystical subjects, psychic development, and practical forms of spirituality such as self-healing, understanding dreams, learning to meditate and invoke in a powerful, joyful way. I know that you'll love it, so I should end this post right now and continue working on it!

In the meantime, guard your thoughts and creations like a mother hen and protect your own sense of peace and well-being. There are a lot of people and influences out there that would like to drag you down.

Best,
Jennifer
shepherdjen@comcast.net

2004-06-18T10:34:00.000-04:00

Subconscious Scribes!
Using Dreams as Inspiration for Fiction

I'm offering my six week online course again. This class is so fun! Everything is delivered to you via email. You receive six weekly "lectures," which include material on the art of dreaming, the history of dreaming, and the "magic" of dreaming. And you discuss dreams and dreaming experiences with other students through the class discussion list. Along the way, you'll be guided to create several shortie short stories based on real dreams that you've had. I'll show you different entry points and approaches which will help you to turn dreams into polished stories. If you've always wanted to dig a little deeper into your dreams, using them as a take off point for creative work, then this is the class for you!

Cost: $40.00 || Prerequisites: have email and world-wide web access, ability to navigate the Internet
Course length: Six weeks (June 21 to July 26) || limit: None
Instructor: Jennifer Shepherd, Intuitive Counselor, Freelance Writer and Syndicated Columnist (serving more than 2 million readers)

Do you sometimes have dreams that are strange, wild, and surprising? Even if you don't always remember your dreams, have you had a few over the years that made you think, "I should write a story about that" or "That was like a scene from a movie!"

Dreams are messages from the subconscious mind, and they can help you to tap into a deep well of creativity. Over the next six weeks, Jennifer Shepherd, intuitive counselor, freelance writer, and a columnist serving 2 million readers, will guide you in harvesting the content of your dreams and using it as fuel for your fiction writing. You'll be shown specific exercises, techniques, and tips that will make dream recall easier, and you'll learn how to use dream content as a take off point for your fiction writing.

Students will work on short weekly assignments based on their dreams and discuss their work with their fellow students. Whether you're already working on a novel for publication or are just writing short stories for fun, this class will jump-start your imagination and get your writing flowing in an exciting new direction.

Note: Even if you don't always remember your dreams, don't worry! We're going to teach you ways to remember your dreams, and also assign you a "dream buddy" so you can borrow dreams from others!

About Jennifer Shepherd
Jennifer Shepherd is an intuitive counselor and freelance writer whose nationally syndicated column, "The Cosmic Butt Kick," reaches over 2 million readers. She is the author of over 2700 published columns, essays, and articles, and she has been a columnist for Spa, Boy Crazy, and Total Fitness magazines.

REGISTER
SUBCONSCIOUS SCRIBES CLASS

2004-06-16T15:29:00.000-04:00

THOUGHTS ARE THINGS. EMOTIONS ARE EVENTS.

** I posted this at Rumor Mill News (see link at right.) Pardon the repeat if you've already seen it. It seems that, more and more lately, the "work" I'm doing is about smacking people (lovingly, of course!) over the head about how POWERFUL they are. How their thoughts, their emotions, and their spiritual intents DO create reality. You are so powerful, folks! I hope that some of what I share here will inspire you. I am sending you big fat drooling energy hugs, in any case! -- J.

I've been reminded lately how important it is to be conscious, at all times, of where I am putting energy, thought, and emotion.

We're very blessed beings, gifted with the spiritual power to shape reality as we project our holographic "thoughtforms" each day. Much of the trick to creating greater health, harmony, finances, and relationships is about disabling old thought bubbles that circle around us much like the thought balloons of cartoon characters. You know when Doonesbury or Snoopy "says" somthing in a cartoon, how the artist depicts this with a balloon over that character's head? Well, we all run around with thought balloons or "thoughtforms" in our energy field. Sensitives can perceive them. I tend to see them as dark, greyish and lumpy-looking things. They have a nasty texture. (At least, the negative ones do.)

Positive thoughtforms that are based in love have a gorgeous geometrical shape to them. Imagine something that looks crystalline, like the molecular attributes of a snowflake. It's kind of like that. We all carry a certain amount of positive thoughtforms in our energy fields, usually pertaining to family members whom we love. So you might have several thought bubbles with gorgeous colors and amazing geometry that link to your relationships with your spouse, significant other, kids, pets, parents, friends, etc. And then you would have several less cohesive but still mostly positive ones that are less important relationships - thoughtforms around, say, your boss, your coworkers, your students, your teachers or mentors, your coach, etc.

But the negative ones are what we need to be aware of. They act as a feedback mechanism, shaping the way we perceive and experience reality. Thoughts are things. Emotions are events.

We've been given a "loaded gun" as spiritually sovereign beings with the power of free will who, nevertheless, are locked into this funky three-dimensional body and what would APPEAR to be a pretty inflexible world.

But reality isn't inflexible at all. It changes all of the time. It goes through shifts, flips, and distortions. Funny things happen to time, too, such as "time-bending." Have you ever done that? You're running late to something, and you really need to get there on time. You push through traffic but still, you just know you're not going to get there on time.

A thought comes into your head. "I'm going to bend time. I'll just bend it, say, a half hour or so. I just need that extra time window to make it to such-and-such event."

What's funny is that when you have clear intent about this, it works. And others will reflect back to you the reality of what you did.

Two examples from my life, recent ones. I was meeting a girlfriend for lunch and was running late. I hate to keep people waiting for me. I just find it very disrespectful when somebody runs late, and I don't like putting somebody else in that uncomfortable position. So I was very peeved at myself for not completing my other errands on time and running late to lunch.

It came to me, "I'll time bend. Let me bend it just a smidge so that I get there in time with a little extra to spare, so that I can find parking and catch my breath."

I felt a shift, an indescribable "click" as I set this intent. Somehow, I knew I had bent time.

It sounds silly, I know. But hey, I believed in it! I had a light, playful attitude about it, too, like, "Hey, I've gathered evidence every day that we truly live in a 'Harry Potter' universe, where magic and miracles constantly happen. So why not time bend?" (Interestingly enough, I hadn't yet seen the newest Harry Potter movie, in which time bending figures in the plot towards the end.)

Anyway, I arrived at lunch with about 15 minutes to spare, which was physically impossible given the speed at which I was traveling, the thickness of traffic, and the fact that I was running so late. I didn't think too much more about it and settled in a table outside to wait for my friend.

A little later, she turns up. She tells me right away, "Time is acting funny." She says she was busy with a client on the phone and left her house REALLY late. But she was only a couple of minutes late for our lunch. And, she said, "That's impossible. I should have been at least fifteen minutes late."

Funny thing was, I had set the intention to bend time by about fifteen minutes or so. HMMMM......

I made no mention of my little temporal adventure. I sort of wanted to savor it for myself.

This past Friday, the honey and I are running around doing things, and I have a thought. "Gee, the weekend would flow better if time would just slow down by about an hour." About the same moment the thought came to me, I was game to try it. I set the intention, again felt a "click," and we went about our business.

I noticed from that moment forward how we always seemed to have an extra hour in front of events and meetings. I'm usually a "last minute" type of person, tumbling out of bed to allow for the maximum amount of sleep (must get my beauty rest!) and racing to whatever I need to get to. I never have time to PREPARE before something, to attend to little things in an unhurried way. To, you know, check to see if I have snot running down my face or whatever. (I'm never sure.)

All weekend, though, I found myself having to kill an extra hour before stuff would start. I realized that I may well have created this perception through my intention of "time bending" by an hour.

The funny thing was, I didn't tell my honey anything about my little experiment. And all weekend, this extra hour seemed to persist. At some point over the weekend, he mentioned to me, "Time seems to be a little slower, by about an hour."

So - if it was all "in my head," and I had only affected MY perception of time...then why did a) my friend spontaneously comment that time was acting strange and b) my significant other make a comment about time being slowed down? And each of them commented on the exact time allotment that I had tried to "bend," about fifteen minutes with the friend and an hour with my honey, respectively. This meant that they were, independent of any prior notification from me, entering into the same timestream that I had consciously changed.

Very cool, huh?

Over the weekend, though, I grew tired of being SO early for things! I was growing bored! So on Sunday I consciously "sped up" time again. Now things would appear to be racing along as usual. A little too fast for me, actually.

I realize that what I have narrated here may seem bizarre and impossible.

Chat with a quantum physicist. He's light years ahead of me about the hows and whys of temporal anomalies.

But, the physicists are VERIFYING this stuff every day.

Reality is far more flexible and malleable than might appear.

THOUGHTS ARE THINGS. EMOTIONS ARE EVENTS.

These cohesive "thought bubbles" or reality creations hover in our energy fields, determining the shape and texture of our life's daily events.

By the way, you can "zap" negative thoughtforms by mentally projecting a blue-silver color out your third eye or your palms. At first, you'll encounter a lot of resistance, and you may need to repeat the exercise over and over again, possibly over days, weeks, or even months, before you'll really SENSE that you've zapped those suckers into submission.

Then it's time to start experimenting with group thoughtforms.

Try, say, zapping or cancelling out the huge thoughtform that's being activated right not on a planetary level about the need for Revelations/Armageddon/doom and disaster/Planet X/the arrival of negative aliens to take place.

Personally, I'm deciding to flip over to another station. A different frequency.

Let's work together to break up those heavy, dense thoughforms.

Just because other people want to create those realities doesn't mean WE have to.

The Earth is our playground.

I think it's time for some play. Laughter instead of tears. Miracles instead of victimization.

Love instead of fear.

LipstickMystic@comcast.net

2004-06-14T14:50:00.000-04:00

Man Recalls Past Life as Titanic Designer

There are many wonderful researchers who have devoted their careers to verifying instances of past life recall, and you'll find a ton of info on the Net if you do a Google search. But this article was recently referenced at an alternative site called

RENSE.COM

It's brief article about a man who struggled with memories that were surfacing about his past life as the Irish engineer who designed the ill-fated ship, the Titanic. He's written a book about his experiences, too, which could be fascinating.

Here's the link to the article. Check it out!

JOHNADAMS.NET

2004-06-10T14:40:00.000-04:00

Creature Feature

Many New Age types have been saying that the planet is going through certain "energy shifts" right now which, hopefully, will propel mankind into greater awareness of the need for things like peace, kindness, understanding, etc. Some physical signs of these shifts are supposed to be evidenced by the increase in weird weather patterns, fireballs dropping from the sky (as recently happened outside Seattle) and so forth.

Another physical sign that these shifts are happening, supposedly, is the sudden appearance of creatures no scientists have ever studied before. If we're truly shifting dimensions, and if doorways between realities are really opening up, it would make sense that certain odd beings might be coming and going through these doors. Usually, you just hear wild tales about creepy crawlies like chupacabres, monkey men, or little alien dudes (none of which I'm eager to meet on a dark and stormy night.) But this headline caught my interest yesterday.

Apparently, in Asheville, NC, there have been some sightings of a neat little creature that looks part fox, part jackal, part cat, and part, well, God knows what. It's kind of a cute critter. This family used a motion sensitive camera to capture photos of it on their property, where it was coming for food along with other animals. They sent the photo into the local newspaper, who printed it. Various animal experts are stumped. They don't know what it is.

To check out the creature feature, click here:

UNIDENTIFIED CREATURE IN NC STUMPS EXPERTS

I don't know about you, but I think the little guy's kinda cute.

As long as he's not a man-eater or anything.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-06-07T21:27:00.000-04:00

Happy Venus Transit!

By now, you've probably read about the rare passage of Venus between the Earth and the Sun that starts around 1 a.m. tonight on the East Coast and lasts until about 7 a.m. EST. It's kind of like a mini-eclipse. It's pretty rare. The next one happens in 2012, and after that, it doesn't happen again for some 100 years.

What does it mean? My intuitive take on it is this:

Venus - Planet of love, balance, artistry, imagination, and harmony

Sun - Rules personality, identity, core beliefs and attitudes

Earth - Us, where we are now

With Venus passing between the Earth and the Sun, it would seem we would have a clearer window of opportunity, energy-wise, to put love of others before love of self. Also, it's a chance to put harmony before self-expression (meaning, don't just express yourself willfully in harmful ways - seek to find what is best for humanity as a whole before taking action.) So the planetary influences are definite peace-oriented.

There's been a lot of interference coming in for this past week, chaotic vibrations that intuitives like me are sensitive to. Call it a cosmic weather pattern, if you will, but there's definitely been some global "slime" happening. This energy has been trying to discourage a lot of Lightworkers in this week before the transit takes place, doing its best to push people into making life choices that are of a low vibration.

I was slimed pretty good around my book stuff, and it's just starting to clear out late today. But don't worry, I'm still working on it and planning to publish by fall.

So - I'd say it's a great time to do more personal clearing, invoking the healing energies of God/Goddess/Great Spirit, the angels and spiritual guides, and also welcome the incredible revitalizing and protective energies of Venus.

Here's linking all of our energies in a joint prayer for peace, healing, and well-being - for us as well as this lovely planet we call home.

Hugs,
Jennifer

2004-06-03T10:44:00.000-04:00

How to Attract Anything to You:

I found this wonderful, simple set of guidelines archived from a newsletter that used to be published called Night Queen. The original author appears to be an astrologer named Madeline Gerwick-Brodeur, whose current website is:

ASTRO-CYCLES.COM

In her archived newsletter, she spelled out these simple guidelines for manifesting, that is, bringing something you want or need into manifestation in this dimension. It's "real magic," the kind that we all should be achieving through the practice of whatever religious faith or spiritual philosophy we follow. It's also called "applied faith," stepping directly into the energies of creation. Anybody can do it. The hardest part is putting yourself in the right emotional state if you feel drained or downtrodden. I love how she laid out these really simple and workable concepts. I have already used these in my life and manifestated just about anything important that I've needed, so I can verify the effectiveness of these simple techniques. Check them out!

How to Attract Anything to You:
by Madeline Gerwick-Brodeur

1. Remember a time or event when you felt VERY happy, excited or joyful.

2. Once you're in this high vibrational energy and feeling that happiness, excitement or joy again, THEN start thanking the Universe for having ALREADY provided your wish come true.

3. As you give thanks for your wish having already come true, imagine what this wish feels like, smells like, tastes like. What are you doing when this wish comes true? Who else is there? See and hear what is happening around you. Put in the details of your wish.

4. Remain in this high energy, feeling thankful that your wish has come true for a minimum of 17 seconds each time you do this (this is needed to combust the energy) and a total of at least 68 seconds per day (this is the daily minimum needed to manifest your wish).

5. ALLOW your wish to come true. Whenever you hear any negative thoughts about your wish coming true, say out loud: "Cancel. Clear." Then substitute a positive thought like "Of course the Universe wants to bring me my wish!" Suspend your disbelief and allow your wish to come true.

Two things to remember:

1. NEVER ASK for anything or say you need or want something. Those words indicate you lack it, and you are only reinforcing the fact that you don't have it. ALWAYS thank the Universe for having ALREADY provided it.

2. Whenever you put yourself in the high energy and thank the Universe (or whatever word you use) for having already provided this wish, you are activating the timeline where this occurs. You are also "stepping on the gas" and telling the Universe to send it to you. Whenever you have negative thoughts about getting it, you are "stepping on the brakes" and telling the Universe NOT to send it to you. Be careful to ALLOW it to happen by canceling those thoughts.

In essence, whenever we are feeling joyful about our wish coming true, we are activating the timeline where it occurs. Likewise, whenever we feel dread, fear, etc., we are activating the timeline where our fears are manifested. We are literally doing this from moment to moment. So be happy and joyful and choose a positive timeline! Your wish will come true. Have fun manifesting. You can use this for any thing, any time. Just be clear about what you want!

2004-06-01T17:41:00.000-04:00

When Exorcism Doesn't Work

I was speaking to a friend recently who mentioned that a relative of hers and his wife had been experiencing some difficulties, and things in their household had gotten so bad that they called in a priest to perform an exorcism on their home. Unfortunately, this ritual didn't seem to produce any measurable effects.

I told her that this is quite common, and that I've heard the same thing many times from other people who have witnessed or participated in an exorcism performed by a priest.

In olden times, priests functioned as a combination of healer, speaker, and magician, and the rituals that have been passed down in all faiths (not just in the Christian Catholic traditions) were specifically designed to evoke powerful spiritual energies.

Alas, today's priests aren't trained in the power of magic, so they mostly just go through the rituals in an emotionless way, devoid of energy, intent, or power.

When you want to effect measurable change on the physical plane by drawing upon energies from the higher dimensions (or, unfortunately, the lower dimensions, as in the case of black magicians or Luciferian sorcerors,) there are several key ingredients that go into making your ritual effective.

You have to have strong powers of visualization - being able to hold an image with your mind's eye without much distraction or competing images entering in. (This one is tough if you are in the habit of watching lots of T.V. and movies, because those images can end up competing with any image you try to generate internally.)

You have to have strong abilities to emote. Performers who have spent some time doing live theater tend to make excellent magicians because they are able to summon up the energies of various emotions quickly, through their inner intent. For them, it's like throwing on a switch. Others may find it harder to conjure up joy, love, compassion, and similar energies that would normally be used in "white magic" (positive ritual.) But this ability can be developed with practice.

And you also have to have a clear, unbending intent and a sense of applied faith - meaning, you are absolutely certain (even if you are only able to hold that feeling of certainty for a few moments) that your ritual is tied to the powerful energy of God (both a Higher Power and the spiritual power that lives within you) and that it has ALREADY BEEN EFFECTED on the physical plane.

This sense of ALREADY SEEING AND BELIEVING in the effects of your healing (or your ritual) is important.

Too often, modern prayer is mistaught. People are advised to petition a Higher Power, as if asking for permission from Daddy if you can have this or that.

That's not entering into the sovereign spiritual power that the great ones have taught. That's being a wimp!

When you enter directly into the experience of living (or "applying") your faith, and you step into shaping, forming, and utilizing the miraculous power of God (or Goddess or whatever name you like to use for this energy) to create events in the present (not the future,) that's when the real magic happens.

These three things - visualization, emotion, and intent/applied faith will allow you to create anything you want here in the world of 3-D.

If, in the case of the priest I mention above, he had been bolder about stepping into his spiritual power and more experienced with clearing out negative entities from a home or a person, there is no doubt that the people who lived there would have instantly felt a sense of increased peace, harmony, and stability, although it may have been subtle, depending on how much healing they were willing to receive. But there would have been improvement.

And since they went to the trouble to call a priest to their home in the first place, it's likely that they were willing to enter into a much more powerful receiving of positive energy, something more dramatic, vital, and exciting - what some people would call a "miracle."

A miracle is when our experience of reality exceeds our beliefs, expectations, and negative programming.

Miracles are happening every day. But if you want to create your own and to step into the frequency of this amazing energy, it helps to refine your abilities to visualize, emote, and step into a mental state of complete conviction and faith (even if you're only able to maintain it for a minute, a few seconds, or a half hour.)

Other cues and techniques can also add to the effectiveness of any such metaphysical work, including the use of sound vibration, physical movement, colors in the immediate environment, and physical tools or "props." But visualization, emotion, and intent will always work, and they are extremely portable, excellent for use in situations of spiritual "emergency" (when you might not have your holy water, your athame, or your drum with you.)

By becoming adept at these three basic things, you will challenge yourself to begin experiencing greater and greater degrees of personal power in your daily life.

Plus, it's a heck of a lot of FUN.

LipstickMystic

2004-05-26T17:10:00.000-04:00

A White Buffalo is Born Outside Flagstaff

The Lakota people have a sacred tradition surrounding the extremely rare appearance of a white buffalo, who is said to be a representation of White Buffalo Calf Woman, a spiritual teacher of their people. White buffaloes are rare, as they appear in only one in ten million calves. As the calves mature, their fur darkens, so they are only white when they are little.

A white buffalo was recently born at the same farm which has also raised three other white buffaloes. This one is named Sunrise Spirit, and her mother is Mandella Peace Pilgrim. Nice names!

You can read all about Sunrise Spirit and the Lakota legend surrounding the re-emergence of the white buffalo. White buffaloes are said to be harbingers of the return of White Buffalo Calf Woman, who told the Lakota some 2000 years ago that she would return at the end of this age to usher in an era of transition, healing, and rejuvenation for the Earth and her people.

And, if nothing else, the white buffalo sure is cute!

WHITE BUFFALO PHOTOS

WHITE BUFFALO LEGEND

Also, you might enjoy reading the post I made some weeks ago which referenced the wise words of a man named Arvol Looking Horse, the current head of the Lakota Nation.

MESSAGE FROM ARVOL LOOKING HORSE (SCROLL DOWN TO BOTTOM)

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-05-23T14:34:00.000-04:00

Let Me Get This Straight

***I found this eye-opening list on an alternative news site. I think it says it all! ***

---- Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

--- The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

--- Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

--- "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

--- A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body involving conception, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

--- Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

--- The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

--- Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California.

--- If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

--- A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

--- HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

--- Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

--- Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

--- Autocratic leaders should be both used and abused: Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him; a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

--- A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a genocidal war economy and fascist state is solid defense policy.

--- Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

--- Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

2004-05-20T16:46:00.000-04:00

It's All Bogus

This just in from a reader:

I don’t believe in any of this stuff, and I was wondering why people like you even bother to teach astrology or do "spiritual healing" or whatever it is you do since it's all bogus. You must be getting awfully rich off those poor fools who do believe. – Mark S., Dallas, TX

Dear Mark,

We have more in common than you might expect! I don’t “believe” in anything, myself. Whenever you believe in something blindly, you have stopped using your left brain, that discerning, logical part of you that measures reality and helps protect you from making unwise choices.

Direct, ongoing life experience backed up by research, information sharing, and quantifiable production of results is something entirely different. That HAS been my experience. My direct experiences shape whatever "beliefs" I may have, because I've walked through those events myself and compared notes with thousands of others whose experiences corroborate my own.

I've been blessed enough to be a part of many amazing, seemingly "miraculous" events. You could, too, if you tried. The frequency of miracles is available to anyone who would point himself in the direction of hope, love, and an open heart. (And a rigidly closed mind won't let you ride this Cosmic Internet.)

What you are really saying is that you haven’t yet had any direct, personal experience with spirituality, holistic healing, or metaphysics that has convinced you of their value. You’ve got a lot of people to keep you company. The early Christian Church did a good job at stamping out any alternative spiritual practices by killing off all the “infidels” and pagans who had a different view of life. And its effects are still being felt today.

Many people are afraid to use words like “New Age” or “psychic intuition” because they are worried that they will be hurt. Numerous practitioners of psychic counseling, for instance, have been nervous about “coming out of the closet” to their coworkers, bosses, and neighbors. This is because of the violent history of the Christian Church, who tended to kill off anyone who wasn’t an active member of their group, and who instilled superstition and hatred about all contrary belief systems.

The early Christians destroyed the Native Americans, the Aborigines, the midwives of ancient Europe (who were the only ones trained in herbal medicine), and countless African priests and priestesses. All of this bloodshed was accomplished in the name of God. But none of this killing had anything to do with Jesus’ actual message, which was to love thy neighbor and to honor others' sovereign spiritual nature.

And so we live at an interesting point in human history. Christianity is a dominant world religion with many stellar qualities. But its dark side or cultural underbelly is alive and well. Average folks are still ready to burn people at the stake who are different or who challenge their understanding of reality.

Unfortunately, many self-avowed "skeptics" like you are the truly intelligent, sharp-minded people that mystics like myself would love to have at their side. It is through discernment, experimentation, and analysis that the metaphysical worlds can be more fully mapped out for us all - and we need people like you on board to lend your wonderful linear minds to the process!

But too many brilliant minds have been clouded by the insidious brainwashing that is so culturally pervasive here in the West. And most of them have put up impenetrable mental and emotional barriers that purposefully block out any investigation of the dynamic, living energy that circulates through all of creation.

Many great intellects are also self-proclaimed atheists. I find that atheists are just fundamentalists of a different stripe, masquerading as the godless. Vigilantly stating that there can't possibly be any intelligent force shaping creation is in its own way a kind of cult. Rigid belief or, in this case, "anti-belief," also blocks the type of experiences that mystics have on a daily basis.

A true understanding of quantum physics precludes atheism, so if you're curious, study some of Greg Braden's writing, look at the experiments done at Princeton University's Engineering Anomalies lab (some of which I participated in), or read The Holographic Universe by Michael Talbot. (His book is an excellent guide to quantum physics for the layperson, tying together mystical perception, healing, and science. Unfortunately, Talbot passed away a few years ago, but his great book remains with us.)

Let me just say that I wish you well, you needn’t “believe” in anything, and thanks for opening up your mind enough to write to me and share your ideas. If more people were interested in discussion instead of blind accusation and superstition, well then, I really would be rich! And as I am getting ready to publish a book on mystical subjects, my hope is that an epidemic of open minds will spread through the land, so that readers will enjoy it.

Let me leave you with my favorite quote of all time, from Shakespeare’s play Hamlet. “There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

Intriguing possibility, huh?

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-05-14T13:52:00.000-04:00

Shifts Happen

Have you ever had a moment of synchronicity, where it seemed like a spiritual coincidence was happening - a special message was being delivered to you by the cosmos? Or have you ever had a weird event where time didn't behave as it was supposed to (time slowed down or sped up in a weird way?) If so, you should check out RealityShifters.com.

Cynthia Larson is a healer and writer who has been collecting first person accounts of people experiencing these types of events. I recommend checking them out if you've ever experienced one of those moments of "synchronicity" or simply stepping out of time in a weird, inexplicable way. In reading these stories, you'll find out you're not alone!

I remember having an experience like this myself about two years ago. We were taking a road trip and were stopped at a traffic light next to a bike store. A young man came out wearing brightly colored clothing and got into his car.

As we sat at the light, I turned my head and was chatting with my companion. A few seconds later, I turned around, and THE EXACT SAME SCENE played itself out. The SAME young man, dressed the same way, came out of the store and got into his car.

Not enough time had elapsed between these moments for the man in question to have been able to get back out of the car, return to the store, and then come back out of the store. The passage of time between these moments (of me seeing him come out of the store once, then again) was not more than a few seconds.

This is just one experience I've had where I seem to have seen a "glitch" in the Matrix! It was like my own "action replay." I felt like I had pressed the "rewind" button and watched the same little scene play itself out again. Or maybe I experienced a reality shift or I stepped out of time for a moment. It was certainly bizarre. The energy of the event felt strange, too, a little like an altered state of consciousness. So there was a sensation to it.

What's interesting is that it happened when I wasn't in a particularly enlightened state of mind, doing meditation or anything. I was just hanging out, listening to music on our road trip. I certainly wasn't expecting a cosmic experience!

Here's the link to Cynthia's latest newsletter, and from there you can check out her site.

REALITYSHIFTERS.COM

2004-05-12T10:11:00.000-04:00

The Power of Mind Over Matter - Or,
If You Mind, It Matters

With so much distressing stuff surfacing this week over the situation in Iraq, I felt inspired to start a series of essays over at Rumor Mill News about how we need to be careful about how we react to psychic attack. Psychic attack is when we are assaulted, either physically or emotionally, by something distressing. This trauma creates holes in the energy field that, over time, can bring in all manner of gook, causing the gradual onset of depression, mental illness, and physical sickness. Seers and healer types like myself can see this stuff, and it's not pretty.

People don't realize that they need to learn how to modulate their personal energy instead of allowing their buttons to constantly be pushed by the media, by other people's negative emotional outbursts, and by the "mind control" of society in general. If you don't learn how to center yourself, to clear out the gook as it accumulates, and to close up those holes that occur when your energy field gets pierced, you quickly find yourself off balance.

Most of us know what imbalance feels like. It's when you're cranky, tired, not feeling good. It's when, in spite of a gorgeous, sunny day outside, all you can see is darkness. It's when you're so caught up in the energy of feeling misery or fear that you can no longer fully experience joy.

To reclaim joy, to recapture our innocence, and to adjust our energy to deflect the darkness of others when it assaults us - that's key. It means keeping your heart alive, maintaining your capacity to love in the spite of great darkness. It also means learning real metaphysical techniques that can aid in healing.

Many healers in my circle have spent years working on different ways to achieve these goals, and there are a variety of methods, concepts, and techniques that I'm going to start sharing with people. People are in so much pain and anger right now, and they don't realize that it is their very emotional reactions which can be their worst enemy. Engaging in extremes of emotion opens up holes in the energy field, too, which can contribute to sickness and disease coming in through those holes.

The techniques I've synthesized come from a variety of traditions, but as a person I come from the Christian gnostic or Christian mystic background and a shamanic, energy healing background. I don't buy into any of the traditional church teachings about Jesus but invoke his energy for healing, protection, and guidance, as well as angels, spiritual guides, power animals, and Mother Earth. He's a very powerful protector and the one being who constantly re-opens my heart, when it is in danger of shutting down.

This is not to say that other great teachers can't help you to do this, either. I simply haven't made the same level of connection with Buddha, Krisha, and the other great spiritual ones. So I can't and won't judge the merits of their energy, and I leave people to make their own discoveries. There are many wonderful spiritual allies that we can work with when we focus on healing ourselves, but there are a ton of tricksters, too, and regular "house-cleaning" is recommended as you reach a higher level of understanding about which energies are compatible for you.

I thank everyone who has been emailing me with comments, eager to discover more of the methods that I work with, and I look forward to sharing more in the months to come. I'm still putting together my website, where I will also post many things, and will continue to post at Rumor Mill News, too.

Here's the link to the article I posted yesterday:

MY POST AT FORUM

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-05-06T23:20:00.000-04:00

Jupiter Has Finally Gone Direct

(*My apologies if you have already read this on Rumor Mill News, where I also posted it. Many readers here don't read there, and I didn't want them to miss this bit of astrological news.*)

If you're an Earth sign like me (Taurus, Virgo, or Capricorn,) you've probably been feeling a sense of things being held up or delayed on a fundamental level since January, especially around work, finances, and business expansion. Jupiter, planet of opportunity and "good luck," was retrograde from Saturday, January 3rd through late Tuesday, May 4th. Now it is in direct motion again, still in the sign of Virgo, and it will stay this way until late September.

All of us, irrespective of sign, had been experiencing a period of heightened introspection while Jupiter was in retrograde. We've pulled within a bit, rethought things, cross-examined our motives, our goals, and our relationships. This period of examination has been a good thing. We may not have all of the answers yet about the best course of action, but as Jupiter continues its direct motion over the next months, changes will start to shake out. These will be self-created, self-directed changes, ones which give you a feeling of empowerment as you make the necessary shifts or alterations that might be required.

So, if you felt the urge to pull back and to have a good "think" about some major part of your life this winter, there was a good reason! Jupiter's retrograde motion was inspiring you to do some deep meditating. A period of contemplation is important before taking any significant action in life, so this is all a wonderful thing.

On a practical level, though, opportunities from "the outside world" have been slower to line up. This especially applies to Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn (or people with their Moon or Rising sign in these signs.) So business marketing or submitting resumes has been a slow process for most of us this winter.

Expect business and money flow to pick up very rapidly as you head into the summer. All of the signs will be feeling a sense of greater flow, stronger mental clarity, and an increased emotional optimism about their future.

Jupiter is seen as the "Greater Benefic" in the astrological tradition, the benevolent king of the planets. When Jupiter is well-aspected in your chart, you'll find that things tend to flow more smoothly. Luck is less elusive. Social contacts flow better, and relationships of all kinds are more harmonious. While Jupiter was in retrograde, the opposite was happening. Now that "he" is in direct motion, expect his good spirits to have a contagious affect. You'll be feeling perkier, too!

Jupiter has been in the sign of Virgo since last August, and it will remain there, as I mentioned above, until late September. Jupiter takes 12 years to journey through the entire 12 signs of the zodiac. When Jupiter is in your sign, it's a rare event, since it only happens once every 12 years. During such years, you'll find that expansion and positive change are the themes. The last time Jupiter spent a year in Virgo, I broke off an engagement, moved to a new state, and began a whole new career path. These changes, while dramatic-sounding, all felt positive and life-affirming as I made them. So Jupiter doesn't create chaotic change. It generates an expansive energy field that makes you want to reach out toward people, situations, and aspirations that will allow you to function at your best.

Taureans, Virgos, and Capricorns will feel the strongest dose of "luck" from Jupiter being in the sign of Virgo. But, again, if you have a Rising sign or Moon configuration in your chart with Earth signs strongly aspected, you'll be riding a positive wave of energy, too.

And all of us will feel inspired to roll up our sleeves and adopt a measured, practical approach to creating real change in our lives while Jupiter remains in the sign of Virgo. Virgo is the "fixer-upper" sign, the perfectionist who likes to see real improvement in every area of life that she touches. With Jupiter in Virgo, all of the signs will be experiencing a sense of wanting to get their act together, of looking at the "Big Picture" of their life and making sure that they are on course with their spiritual and personal destiny.

Enjoy the happy times and clear energy that Jupiter in direct motion will bring.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-05-05T18:05:00.000-04:00

Humor as a Deadly Weapon

Recently I received a distraught email from someone who told me that people read their horoscopes "to find out where they are at the moment. It's great to know that I'm a loser." I believe she had read the weekly horoscope I wrote for the sign of Leo in my cheeky Cosmic Butt Kick column, which runs in various papers and websites throughout North America. Here was my horoscope for Leo that week:

Leo: (July 23-Aug. 22): You’re miffed that Time Magazine didn’t include you in their list of the 100 World’s Most Influential People. What were those editors thinking? You’re kind to animals. Why, you haven’t run over a squirrel in at least a year. And you’re generous to a fault. You donated a whole sawbuck to a cancer charity when they raffled off that Mercedes. The moon has you keeping good company in the midst of failure. Tom Cruise didn’t make Time’s list, either. At least the scenery’s pretty on Losers’ Lane.

Actually, in re-reading this, I didn't state that Leos were losers. I stated that they were experiencing some type of failure at the moment, but that there was some nice company on Losers' Lane. I think that's much more gentle than saying "You're a loser." My meaning was that something didn't work out for Leo, but she should buck up and try to enjoy the company of people around her who may have made similar mistakes. It's not so bad, after all.

I suppose that meaning got lost in there somewhere. Oh well. Some people don't like astrology as stand-up. To me, when you can take something and sharpen it by adding humor, it takes on more sparkle and potency. But some folks don't like comedy in any form, especially when it comes to astrology.

I think it would be different if they read it out loud. They might get the jokes better and see that everything I say, I say with good intentions (albeit with a sassy tongue.) I certainly don't mean to ruin anybody's day. I truly designed this column to heal through humor, to merge real astrology analysis with a light-hearted sensibility. And it's done very well throughout its two year run. At last count it had somewhere around 2 million readers. Not bad for a new feature that is marketed entirely by me, here in my upstairs office with the cat, without the backing of an agent, a syndicate, or anyone.

I don't know about you, but I love laughing at myself. If I've f$%&ed something up, there's nothing better than reaching that point where I REALLY SEE it and can move beyond the pain into a healing chuckle. That's why I try to induce with my column.

People can have this weird dependency on horoscopes. That's exactly why The Cosmic Butt Kick was designed. Sometimes, people need a cosmic butt kick to counter-act all of the sappy and often inaccurate horoscopes that clutter the airwaves.

Not everybody likes the column, nor do they need to. Many of the people who appreciate my more serious writing, which is gentler and more spiritual, really hate the column. It is very different from my other stuff.

However....what do you think you're in for when you start reading a column called The Cosmic Butt Kick?

(Shakes her head in dismay. Do people really not GET the whole humor thing?)

I would think the title of the column would serve as a clear warning that the horoscopes to follow aren't exactly going to coddle you, hold your hand, and tell you what a great and magnificent being you are.

Instead, I try to skew the tendency of so many astrologers to simply tell readers what they want to hear. If someone is being a jerk that week, I lay it right out there. And I create an analogy between you and whatever jerky celebrity or politician is behaving in a similarly idiotic fashion.

In no way do I leave myself out of the equation. Virgos are tremendously talented at being jerks. We just like to deflect attention from ourselves when we're being jerky, rather like someone who makes a smelly fart and then looks innocently around the room saying, "Did you do that?" That's Virgo for you, disassociating themselves from whatever mayhem they've created.

So, I'm sorry to have hurt Ms. Leo's feelings, but she should have seen that the column was not called: "Cosmic Feel-good Therapy" but "Cosmic Butt Kick."

And there is a difference.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-05-03T17:03:00.000-04:00

Please Read This - What is Truth, Anyway?

Forgive my not writing an original entry today. I've been swamped with deadlines on projects. I'll have something new posted later this week.

In the meantime, you might enjoy reading an essay from an eloquent writer where she describes reactions she encountered while helping a grassroots promotion of the next David Icke event. Many people think David Icke's information is crazy or invalid. Most of them haven't bothered to read any of his books or looked at his rock solid research. You can check him out at his website, see link contained in the body of the linked article.

But I was especially interested in this woman's piece because of what it says about how DETERMINED people can be to KEEP THEIR MINDS FIRMLY SHUT, without even bothering to investigate something at all. We seem to have this cultural predisposition to defend our ignorance, often through verbally violent (or physically violent) means. Talk about your mind control! Talk about your brainwashing and conditioning. Doesn't anybody have an independently functioning brain anymore? What happened? Was it the high fructose corn syrup that shut us down?

It's freakin' time that more people open their minds and LET A LITTLE LIGHT IN. Most folks have grown cobwebs between their ears, and they're starting to be infested with brain spiders.

(Just my opinion. I'm in a mood today.)

ESSAY ABOUT TRUTH

2004-04-28T11:28:00.000-04:00

The Future of this Blog

Regular readers of my blog may notice that I haven't been updating it as much as I had been for a while. Please know that this isn't because I've run out of things to share with you! And I really appreciate all of the readers who have written to me in response to various posts I've made. It's so gratifying to know when I've struck a chord with people, tickled their funny bone, or, well, annoyed the #$%@ out of them!

I'm in the midst of a bunch of big projects - working on my first book, to be released in late summer/early fall, and also putting together my new website, which I hope to launch in early summer. My site will have tons of changing features, Q&A discussions, and how-to articles about just about everything under the metaphysical sun. I'll also be posting my astro-updates as exciting astrological trends surface each month, telling you how to make the most of those stellar energies.

As all of this preparation is going on, my attention isn't being focused so much here at my blog. But I guarantee that if you bookmark it and still check back twice a week or so, there should be something new to keep you entertained. I just won't be able to update it every day.

In the meantime, if you'd like to get involved with what's evolving here, I invite you to send me your questions, comments, or personal experiences in the world of spirituality, New Age thought, and/or astrology, and I'll be happy to shoot back responses here at the blog. That might be a fun thing to do, to start inviting more reader participation. You can choose to include your name and contact info or post anonymously, whichever you prefer.

Some topics I'd love to chit-chat about here in my blog:

Psychic experiences
Angelic encounters
Ghostbusting
Meditation and healing
The wacky and wonderful things happening in the holistic health community
General spiritual development
Divination - tarot, palmistry, and the like
Dreams and their meaning
Frauds, cults, and negative experiences within the New Age community
Shamanism, soul retrieval, healing the Earth
Connections with the animal kingdom, plant kingdom, and mineral kingdom

I tutor and teach on all of these subjects and have tons of personal experiences with each topic, so we can explore some rich territory here.

So start brainstorming, and if you have a question or comment you'd like to see responded to here in my blog, send it to me:

newagetalk@comcast.net

2004-04-26T15:48:00.000-04:00

The End of the World as We Know It - Or Not!

I have a real problem with those doom and gloom New Age types who are waiting for the world to end. These days, there are large numbers of people salivating at the thought of Planet X crashing into the Earth, aliens descending and conquering us, Armageddon and nuclear war happening, etc. The list of potential doomsday scenarios is endless.

Certain evidence is quoted to back up these theories, much of it culled from ancient prophecies and early cultures. I'm not saying that these sources are necessarily off base. Who knows what the future may hold? And many of these cultures have been proven to be eerily accurate with their assessments of the universe we live in. Over 3000 years ago, the Sumerians of Mesopotamia wrote about the existence of a planet called Nibiru at the far edges of our solar system with a weird, elliptical orbit. The new planetoid Sedna was recently discovered by astronomers, and guess what? It's at the far reaches of our solar system and has a weird, elliptical orbit.

There are many end time prophecies in all of the world's religions, and indigenous people have been predicting Earth changes or upcoming dimensional shifts on the planet for thousands of years. The Mayan calendar is one that gets talked about a lot in New Age circles, as it gives the exact date for the end of the world - the year 2012. (How convenient for us. At least we'll be prepared.)

Mixed into these scenarios is the belief that because we have poisoned the Earth, harming ourselves and our environment, The Powers That Be aren't going to tolerate it much longer. God will rain punishment down upon us, angels will judge us, aliens will annihilate us, etc. and so on. Choose your method of death and torture -- there's a huge smorgasbord of potential scenarios available.

Changes do need to take place here, as far as a shift in consciousness goes. Many spiritual teachers are saying that humanity is going through energy shifts that are creating greater awareness, stronger psychic abilities, and a re-awakened connection to our personal spiritual power. That sounds like a good thing, doesn't it? I'd have to say that I agree that this is happening. Oh, it's not the names you read in the papers who are demonstrating this awareness shift. Among public figures, there is a vested interested in preserving appearances and keeping the machines of war, greed, and bloodlust stoked. But behind the scenes, among circles that I circulate in, something very different appears to be happening.

I've been privileged to navigate through the worlds of the arts, the holistic healing community, and New Age/metaphysical circles. In each of these segments of the population, I've observed a huge awakening in people. More and more, there is a sincere desire to change the world for the better, to infiltrate society's structures and organizations and to reshape them. Or, people are becoming daring individualists, starting their own companies, doing their own thing, and striving to live in a principled, peaceful fashion.

There are healer types who put up a shingle and say, "Healer," openly advertising what they stand for. And there are sneaky healers who are quietly shifting events behind the scenes. Both types are addressing the challenging work of fixing some of the mess we've gotten ourselves into.

Things will get better here. We need to keep a careful watch on our fears and negative projections. The power of prayer or collective consciousness is very real. If enough people pray and believe in peace, it can happen. If enough people are determined to create a very different scenario, expect World War III to be acted out on your doorstep.

I was doing some meditating the other day and received this interesting bit of wisdom: "Every day, you are making a choice to embrace death or to embrace life."

I think this is true. While it is important to remain informed about the various troubling things that are going on in this world, there's a difference between dwelling upon those energies and becoming a part of the darkness or embracing the light and daring to live a different reality.

What are you giving your energy to today? Me, I think I'll curl up on this rainy day with a nice cup of coffee, a few cats, and some rewarding creative work. I'm choosing to believe not just in tomorrow, but a multitude of tomorrows, each of them better than the last.

Why not join me for that cup of coffee?

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-21T21:45:00.000-04:00

Psychics and Heart Energy

Have you ever seen one of those famous psychics or mediums on T.V. casually spitting out info about life, death, and sex, behaving in such a detached manner you'd think they were reporting the evening news?

I have a real problem with psychics who do not have their heart chakra open and don't express loving empathy when they toss out their perceptions. For about ten years, I worked at a ton of psychic fairs and knew lots of psychics in the holistic healing community. I am sad to report that most of them are this way. Meaning, their heart isn't open, but their mouths are!

It' s a mistake to believe that, to access psychic abilities, a person must have stellar qualities and a highly developed level of spiritual awareness. You can also access psychic abilities while walking the dark path or engaging in the black arts. Too many psychics, I have observed, have managed to pop open the third eye through
manipulative magic, but the heart center and the crown chakra (seat of higher wisdom and connection to God/Goddess/A Higher Power) are still closed.

Many famous psychics appear to be this way. I remember one time watching Sylvia Browne give some readings to audience members on Montel Williams' show. One man who seemed very sad stood up and said that his mother and his grandmother were both very sick,and did she see either of them dying?

Sylvia didn't even pause for a moment to offer any kind of comforting words. She just shot out in this egotistic "I know everything" way, "Grandmother yes, mother no." And the poor man just sat down without another word, obviously shaken. She didn't even bother to follow up with any spiritual counselling, telling him how he could help to aid his Grandmum's passage to the higher realms through prayer or anything. She just gave this arrogant display. Her entire attitude was "Me psychic, you not!"

This was some years back before she had positioned herself more as a spiritual counselor type. Now she has all these books out that detail the structure of heaven, the world of the angels (according to her,) and so forth. Although she's softened up a little, an empath like me can see that there is still very little heart energy in her work. She's gotten a bit lighter over the years, compared to the hard manner that she used to convey, but my sense is that having enough money will make anybody a bit more mellow! Her lighter attitude doesn't seem to be due to spiritual growth per se.

Of course, I may be wrong, of course. But I'll never forget how cold she was with that one poor man who was obviously very upset. A very revealing moment, in my opinion.

Too many psychics just shoot out their perceptions without any humility. They also don't admit that even the world's best psychics are only 85% right under the best of circumstances. It's all ego ego ego ego ego ego and "Give me $400 for a half hour reading." No wonder people get creeped out when someone says they are psychic, there are so many characters like this out there!

Carolyn Myss would appear to be the same way. I spoke with a man last year who had spent some time in the circle of this woman's family. Their families took a day trip together in New York and spent many hours in close quarters. He told me that she is a "bitch on wheels" in her private life, not remotely loving or spiritual in her tone. I trust this man's description because he is a very sincere spiritual guy who was totally shocked at witnessing this best-selling author's manner with her own family. And here she has written books like Anatomy of the Spirit, which is supposed to teach you how to overcome illness and heavy energy! Geesh.

I like John Edward and James Van Praagh, who are both fuzzy teddy bear people with a great sense of humor, a sweetness of energy, and truly amazing metaphysical gifts. And I adore Sonya Fitzpatrick, the pet psychic lady who has that show on Animal Planet. I'll never forget this one episode where she was visiting an animal rescue center for wild animals who had been orphaned or injured. She sat down with this baby racoon and she just started to cry and cry spontaneously because the poor little thing was so distraught over losing its mother. You don't fake that level of empathy. You can't orchestrate that type of caring.

I encourage anybody who either has a session with a psychic, listens to one on the radio, or watches one on T.V. to keep their eyes and their hearts open in order to sense the person's true energy. What's that Biblical phrase warning against false prophets and fake spiritual seekers? "By their deeds ye shall know them." If someone expresses compassion, a sense of responsibility, and a loving energy, they are aligned with the kindness of a Higher Power. Watch to see if the psychic creates chaos or generates peace. It's a simple litmus test that will instantly show you whether or not someone serves the Dark Side of the Force.

If a psychic's whole manner screams, "Worship me as a God!" run the other way. You don't need a spiritual counselor whose ego has become Super-Sized. Listening to their advice will just bind you up in fear and feelings of enslavement, when, in truth, you are a miraculous and spiritually sovereign being.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

PS It's not to late to register for Using Dreams as Inspiration for Fiction, my online creative writing class through WritersWeekly.com. See blog entries below.

2004-04-19T12:33:00.000-04:00

Dream Survey and Upcoming Class

I recently finished teaching an online class through WritersWeekly.com that taught students ways to use their dreams as inspiration for fiction writing. The class will be offered again starting Monday, April 26th, and it's not too late to register. I will also be teaching it again in the summer months.

The last class was a lot of fun. All of us were sharing different dreams that we've had, whether they were weird, funny, or emotionally involving. The class is designed to help you to learn how to harvest your dream content and use it as a take off point for creative writing, but you don't have to be a serious author to enjoy the course. If you've ever wondered how to access the language of your subconscious mind, this course might be intriguing for you.

Weekly lessons or "lectures" are delivered each week via email, and I provide a lot of information about the history of dreams, the spiritual energy in dreams, and more. Short assignments are given. Usually, these are just explorations of how to use dreams as entry points for short (very short!) stories. Students are encouraged to create story fragments of one to three pages in length, nothing too complicated. Stories don't have to be polished or perfect, and you can also choose not to share your stories with the class. It's very much a self-study type of class, only with lots of discussion via email if the student wants to join in.

Teaching this course has raised lots of interesting questions about our dreaming lives. I'd like to throw a couple of questions out to my readers here just for fun. Please email me if you'd like to become part of this (very informal) dream survey. I appreciate your input, as it will help me as I prepare to teach this class again.

How often do you remember your dreams? Do you remember one per week, generally speaking? Snippets of several? Pieces of five or six, on average? How detailed are your memories? Do you just retain bits and pieces, or do dreams tend to stick in your memory as an entire narrative? Everybody's brain works differently.

Do you only remember them if you jot them down or take extra time to review them in your mind after you wake up? Or is it easy for you to access sections of your dreams throughout the day? Have you ever tried to record them on a tape recorder, or is that too complicated?

One thing that has been proven is that, with a little practice, and by keeping a dream journal handy to jot things down, you should be able to gradually increase your degree of dream recall.

I know that if I take extra time in the morning to stay in bed, with my eyes still closed, the room quiet, and without any distractions (which can be rare!), I can mentally review my dreams each morning and usually come up with about three. I won't always remember all the details, but I can usually get bits and pieces.

I'd be interested to find out more about your own ease (or difficulty) with dream recall. If you'd like to share some of your dreaming adventures to me, see my email address below.

And here's the link about my class at WritersWeekly.com if you'd like to join us for this next round of dreaming fun.

USING DREAMS AS INSPIRATION FOR FICTION CLASS

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-16T17:57:00.000-04:00

The Creative Magic of Dreams
-- Plus Using Dreams as Inspiration for Fiction Writing Course Offered

How many of us have at some point been fascinated by an inspiring or even disturbing dream? Our dreams aren’t just entertaining “movies.” They are also important messages from our creative spirit. Getting in the habit of writing in a dream journal is a valuable technique, because it helps you to learn how to “decode” the language of your subconscious mind. If we learn how to pay attention to what our dreams are telling us, rich treasures can be unearthed, such as messages from deceased loved ones, prophetic visions, and even problem-solving strategies that can help us to heal our most challenging relationships.

The Senoi, the indigenous people of Malaysia, have long maintained an intimate relationship with their dreams. Their tradition has been to teach their children to confront fear in their dreams, standing up to an attacking tiger, for instance, and fighting back. This technique of overcoming fear built up the self-esteem of the younger generations so beautifully that, for many centuries, the Senoi were some of the healthiest and most mentally balanced people on the planet. Alas, modern culture has fragmented the Senoi spirit, and many Senoi who are still living today will no longer talk about their dreaming traditions.

Back when the Senoi were still sharing their techniques with Westerners, they described how they had two other simple rules for managing dreams. Besides confronting fear and learning to face foes in dream space, they also had a practice of openly embracing all people and beings who would appear in their dreams, building a friendly connection to others. (As long as they weren’t attacking them!) This practice of building bonds of friendship with others at the subconscious level seemed to carry over into their daily lives. The Senoi were an extraordinarily peaceful society who was free of war.

The Senoi also learned to look for what they called “dream gifts.” These would be beautiful or special items in dream space that would be taken as personal gifts, such as garments, jewelry, foods, or other items that had a feeling of happiness and abundance associated with them. This tradition of seeking gifts from the dream realm also seemed to heighten their appreciation for the many day-to-day gifts that Mother Nature brought them each day. The Senoi lived simply in long, community huts built from bamboo that sat on stilts, and they maintained a mostly vegetarian diet, growing foods like pumpkins, breadfruit, and bananas.

We can learn much from the ways of the Senoi.

1) Confronting fears while they are still lurking in the subconscious can help to make us braver in our daily, waking lives. So when that tiger attacks, fight back!

2) Learning to actively befriend all whom we encounter in dream space readies us for peace here in the material world. By practicing peace collectively in our dreams, we increase the odds of being able to keep our hearts open in our waking lives.

3) And lastly, by looking for the many gifts that are offered in our dreams, whether they are items, relationships, or visions of high truth, we prepare ourselves to embrace the many miracles that constantly surround us in our daily lives. What if Heaven is already here on Earth, and we just need to develop the vision that will enable us to see it?

In Western culture, many of our great inventors and artists have been inspired by “dream gifts.” Elias Howe invented the sewing machine after having an inspirational dream about it. Robert Louis Stevenson, author of Treasure Island and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, had a group of guides who appeared in his dreams and regularly provided him with ideas. Wagner, Mozart and Beethoven all composed musical works that were inspired by dreams, and even modern rocker Sting has included dream-inspired songs on his albums. (Remember his Dream of the Blue Turtle album?) And the great mathematician Albert Einstein used pieces of a dream to help devise his theory of relativity. The creative energies that bubble up from the dreaming, subconscious mind are an incredible resource to tap into.

If dreams intrigue you, and if you’ve like to learn how to use them to expand your creative writing abilities, I invite you to check out this class that I will be offering. It starts on April 26 and runs until May 31st, and it is conducted entirely by email.

In the meantime, happy dreaming to all!

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

USING DREAMS AS INSPIRATION FOR FICTION

"On a whim, I chose to take the Dreamers course through Writers Weekly. It became one of the best things I have done to refresh and enlighten myself as a writer. Not only of great benefit,the class is also great fun. I highly recommend it." Dorry C. Pease

“There was something freeing about this class. One of the more valuable and unusual writing experiences I’ve had.” Bruce Schirmers

2004-04-16T10:49:00.000-04:00

Message From Arvol Looking Horse

I, Chief Arvol Looking Horse of the Lakota, Dakota and Nakota Nation, would like to ask for this time for you to understand an Indigenous perspective in reflection of what has happened in America, what we call "Turtle Island". For the past six years, my work has concentrated on an effort on uniting the Global community, through a message from our sacred ceremonies in recognizing a day of World Peace and Prayer on June 21st as a time to unite spiritually, each in our own ways of beliefs in the Creator.

We have been warned from the messages, passed down from Ancient Prophecies of these times we live in today, but also a very important message of a solution to turn these terrible times around. To assist you in understanding the depth of this message involves the recognition in the importance of Sacred Sites. It is important that you realize the whole interconnectedness of what is happening today, in reflection of the continued massacres that are occurring on other lands and our own Americas. I have been learning about these important issues of Sacred Sites since the age of 12, upon receiving the Sacred White Buffalo Calf Pipe Bundle and it's teachings. Our people have
strived to protect Sacred Sites from the beginning of time. There needs to be an understanding in the concern of the protection of Sacred Sites that goes deeper than just the issue of Shrines built by humans.

Our people have built similar objects and Shrines to identify and to remind the significance in the power of the Sacred Site. We have also witnessed them being destroyed for many decades, but we also realize it is what is underneath them that is important. These places have been violated for centuries and have brought us to this predicament that we are in concerning the unstable Global Level thus far. Look around you, our Mother Earth is very ill from these violations and we are at a brink of destroying a healthy and nurturing survival for generations to come, our children's children.

Our ancestors have been trying to protect our Sacred Site from the continued violations called the Sacred Black Hills in SD, "Heart of Everything that is". Our ancestors never seen this site from a Satellite view, but now that those pictures are available with modern technology, we see that it is in the shape of a heart and when fast forwarded it looks like a heart pumping. The Dine have been protecting Big Mountain, calling it the liver and now that the coal is depleting, we are suffering and going to suffer more from the extraction of the coal and poison processes used in doing so.

The Aborigines have warned of the contaminating effects on the Coral Reefs from Global Warming, which they see as Mother Earth's blood purifier, our sacred water is being polluted. The Indigenous people of the Rain Forest relay that the Rain Forest are the lungs and need protection, and now we see the Brazilian Government has approved the depletion of 50% of this Sacred Site.

The Gwich'in Nation has an issue of oil drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge coastal plain, also known to the Gwich'in as 'Where the life begins!' The coastal plain is also the birthplace of many other life forms of Animal Nations. The death of these Animal Nations will destroy Indigenous Nations in this territory. As these destructive developments continue all over the world, we will witness many more extinct Animal, Plant and Human Nations, because of the misuse of power that mankind has made and their lack of understanding the "balance of life".

The Indigenous people warn that these destructive developments will cause havoc globally. There are many, many more Indigenous awarenesses and knowledge of Mother Earth's Sacred Sites, connections (Mother Earth's Chakras) to our spirit that will surely affect our future generations. These people are still suffering from this contamination and their livelihood is being destroyed as I write this to you. There needs to be a fast move toward other forms of energy that are safe for all Nations upon Mother Earth. We need to understand the whole picture in the type of minds that are continuing to destroy the spirit of our whole Global Community. Unless we do this, the powers of destruction will overwhelm us.

Our Ancestors foretold that water would someday be for sale. Back then this was hard to believe, since the water was so plentiful, so pure, and so full of energy, nutrition and spirit. Today we have to buy pure water, and even then the nutritional minerals have been taken out; it's just empty liquid. Someday water will be like gold, too expensive to afford. Not everyone will have the right to drink safe water.

We fail to appreciate and honor our Sacred Sites, ripping out the minerals and gifts that lay underneath them, as if Mother Earth were simply a resource, instead of the Source of Life itself. Attacking Nations and having to utilize more resources to carry out the destruction in the name of Peace and elimination is not the answer! We need to understand how all these decisions affect the Global Nation, we will not be immune to its repercussions. To allow continual contamination of our food and land, is now affecting the way we think. A "disease of the mind" has set in with World Leaders and many members of our Global Community, with their understanding that a solution of retaliation and destruction of peoples will bring Peace.

In our Prophecies it is told that we are now at the Crossroads, either unite Spiritually as a Global Nation, or be faced with chaos, disasters, diseases and tears from our relatives eyes. In times of disasters it is sad to say that it is the only time that we unite spiritually, but we must not taint it with anger and retaliation.

We are the only species that is destroying the Source of life, meaning Mother Earth, in the name of power, mineral resources and ownership of land, using methods of chemicals and warfare that are becoming irreversible, as Mother Earth is becoming tired and can not sustain any more impacts of war. I ask you to join me on this endeavor. Our vision is for the Peoples of all continents, regardless of their beliefs in the Creator, to come together as one at their Sacred Sites at that sacred moment of what is known as the Summer Solstice of June 21st, to pray and meditate and commune with one another, thus promoting an energy shift to heal our Mother Earth and achieve a universal consciousness toward attaining Peace.

As each day passes, bringing us to this day of concentration together, I ask the Global Nations to begin a Global effort, in knowing that each and every one of us are making a daily effort in waking to a gratitude of another day, that is gifted to us and begin to remember to give thanks for the Sacred Food that has been also gifted to us by our Mother Earth, so the nutritional energy of medicine can be guided to heal our minds and spirits. This new millennium will usher in an age of harmony or it will bring the end of life as we know it. Starvation, war and toxic waste have been the hallmark of the Great Myth of Progress and Development that ruled the last millennium.

To us, as caretakers of the heart of Mother Earth, falls the responsibility of turning back the powers of destruction. We have come to a time and place of great urgency. The fate of future generations rests in our hands. We must understand the two ways we are free to follow, as we choose—the positive way or the negative way…the spiritual way or the material way.

It's our own choice--each of ours and all of ours. You yourself are the one who must decide. You alone—and only you--can make this crucial choice. Whatever you decide is what you'll be, to walk in honor or to dishonor your relatives. You can't escape the consequences of your own decision. On your decision depends the fate of the entire World. You must decide. You can't avoid it. Each of us is put here in this time and this place to personally decide the future of humankind.

Did you think the Creator would create unnecessary people in a time of such terrible danger? Know that you yourself are essential to this World. Believe that! Understand both the blessing and the burden of that. You yourself are desperately needed to save the soul of this World. Did you think you were put here for something less? In Sacred Hoop of Life, where there is no beginning and no ending!

Mitakuye Oyasin,
Chief Arvol Looking Horse
19th Generation Keeper of the Sacred White Buffalo Calf Pipe

SPIRITWHEEL.COM

2004-04-14T21:16:00.000-04:00

Psychic Readers Safe to Consult?

Recently, someone asked me if it's safe to consult a psychic reader. Namely, would you be picking up any "energy cooties" from receiving a reading from someone.

This is a loaded question. I'll respond to it from an "insider's" perspective, because I worked in that industry for a long time and witnessed many wonderful as well as ghastly things going on.

I was a full-time psychic counselor for ten years, using the tarot and scanning the lines of the palm to guide people with various issues. I always invoked divine help before each session, and nobody ever reported coming out of a session feeling unwell. My goal was to help people to reconnect with their own sense of spiritual sovereignty or personal spiritual power. That's not to say that I never had a bad day, but if my energy was low, I usually tried to reschedule the session.

Unfortunately, not all psychics who give readings do this. And many psychic readers have nasty crud clinging to them, from elementals to discarnates to really dark entities that they have been invoking in magical ritual. So, I would say it's important to invoke divine protection before receiving any reading from a psychic. Also, check in with your own intuition to see if that reader is right for you. And if you feel afraid, emotionally depressed, or physically drained after a session with a psychic, something has clung to your energy field, and you should immediately do some type of spiritual cleansing procedure to remove the goop.

Some of this dumping of toxic energy happens on an unconscious level, perhaps because the reader was feeling tired or cranky about doing another reading that day. They probably didn't intend to drain you, yet their low energy projected itself out at you.

There are also a lot of psychics or "bottom dwellers of the occult" who openly practice various forms of energy manipulation, placing astral hooks, cords, and veils over people. If you feel confused, light-headed, or like you need to suddenly hand over every last cent to the gypsy sitting in front of you, chances are that she was working some "nasty mojo" on you. Remove yourself from the situation immediately.

On a physical level, two simple things you can do to clear out toxic energy effects are to take a shower or to take a nice, hot salt tub. The energy of the shower water streaming down your energy field will remove much of the crud. Putting some sea salt (or regular table salt if that's all you have handy) into a hot bathtub and soaking in it for at least 20 minutes will remove deeper layers of ick that your system may have absorbed.

If you can throw a little baking soda or some essential oils in the tub with you, that's even better. Use some of the essential oils that have a higher vibration - frankincense, myrrh, sandalwood, copal, or lavender are especially good.

You can also invoke God/Goddess/Great Spirit/Spiritual Creator (whomever you regard as a loving Higher Power) to clear out your energy field. This is great to do right before you go to sleep. Just set the intention that you welcome your guides and angels to sweep through your energy field and clear your system of any psychic debris while you sleep. The next morning, you'll feel brand new!

The more you can get in the habit of practicing good "spiritual hygiene," the better your physical and emotional health will be. We all absorb different kinds of energy from the people we encounter in our daily lives. When someone dumps toxic emotions or thoughtforms/projections at us, we feel it as sorrow, anger, or fatigue. Once you learn how to clear this stuff out regularly, you'll realize just how much of a psychic sponge you really are!

I'll be writing much more about energy management and sensitivity in my upcoming book and on my website. I can't wait to share them with you.

See you there!

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-12T15:56:00.000-04:00

Making Animal Contact

***NOTE: I posted this in my Lifeof7cats blog yesterday, but because that blog doesn't seem to receive many hits, and this might be of interest to you loyal readers at Cosmic Butt Kick, I am reposting it here.

Over the years, I've been blessed to experience many moments of connection with animals, where I'm able to do a "Vulcan mind meld" and really see, sense, and hear what they are thinking. I've learned that the best way to make this type of connection is through beaming out lots of love and appreciation. Then they will usually come to you, calm down, or just simply take a moment and share some information with you.

I believe that we all have these abilities. We just rarely take time to develop them.

I'll never forget the time last year when our landlady brought a new horse to the farm. This big, brown sweetheart was standing in his fenced in area, getting adjusted to his new surroundings. He seemed skittish and nervous. I went up to him to try to stroke his head and say "Hi," but he wouldn't come near me.

I don't have much experience with horses, having never ridden them or been trained to work with them. What I do have is a lot of intuitive, instinctive, awareness. I find that it has clicked in from time to time, sometimes in emergency situations when some of the horses here on the farm have gotten loose, bolting from their fenced in pastures.

Anyway, this horse was very nervous, and somehow, I could tell he was stressed out. I took a moment to beam lots of love at him, doing this for several minutes. He came over to me then. I put out my arms in a hug. He reached his head over to me, and I felt a huge sigh go through him. Then he sort of went limp in my arms, completely relaxing his head on me as I cradled him in my arms. I sensed him saying that he was very scared, very worried about where he was going.

He had been shipped from a farm in Kentucky as a prospective new horse for a buyer here in New Jersey, and I don't think anybody had bothered to tell him what his future might hold. I told him that a lady would be coming to see him and that he might go home with her, but that if he didn't, he'd probably be going back home to his old farm. He seemed to express real gratitude to me then. He just wanted to know what was happening to him.

That horse ended up going back to Kentucky, where I think he was happier, anyway. But I'll never forget the heartfelt feeling of "Thanks!" I received from him after I provided some simple information about what was going on.

Here is a series of fascinating comments about how each of us can develop the technique of animal communication, which is actually an old technique of the Native Americans and other indigenous people. It can be used with horses, but the same ideas also work with cats, dogs, and just about any animal you can think of.

I plan to write more about our spiritual connection with animals in a future book, but for now, check out this great article:

ANIMAL COMMUNICATION

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-11T15:24:00.000-04:00

Falling Off the Wagon

I have a confession to make. For the most part, I've been a good girl for the past two weeks, diet-wise. I've learned to embrace vegetables as my friend. I've starting cozying up to beans, in spite of my wariness about them. (And my concern that my housemate might not appreciate this dietary conversion, given the "tooting" effects of beans.) I've experimented with recipes for vegetarian lasagne, grilled vegetable sandwiches, and fresh vegetable soup in a vegetable base.

I've avoided processed foods or "factory foods," as my guide the body deva calls these chemically overloaded, manufactured, non-foods.

That is, until yesterday.

We drove up to visit some of Tom's family in northern Pennsylvania. It was a glorious, sunny day, and the drive was fun. We had Sting's new Sacred Love album cranked and were coasting along happily.

At a rest stop, though, I had one of those wonky blood sugar attacks which sometimes happen when I've had too much caffeine coupled with food containing sugar for breakfast. I had had a waffle with syrup on it (not particularly healthy, but not completely terrible, either) for breakfast, plus two cups of coffee. Well, it was a mistake not to have any protein. I should have had a bagel with cream cheese or some eggs.

By 11:00 a.m. at the rest stop, I needed to eat something immediately or pass out. I've always been borderline hypoglycemic, needing to watch my protein intake. But it's rarely a problem unless I go in for that lethal "something sugary plus coffee" combo for breakfast. In this case, the little bit of syrup I added to my waffle must have been enough sugar to knock my system out of whack.

There were vending machines at the rest stop, but nothing of any nutritional value inside. No peanuts. There were some of those neon orange peanut butter crackers in there, but they looked like something left over from the last Ice Age, and I didn't want them going into my tummy. But there were few other choices but candy bars.

I chose a Reese's peanut butter chocolate bar thingie called a Fast Stop or a Fast Break or something. It had some peanut butter in it, I reasoned. Well, I knew it wouldn't be real peanut butter, but still. Everything else in the machine looked so bloody scary that this seemed pretty benign in comparison.

I wolfed the thing down, trying not to think about all of the calories, the preservatives and colorings, and so forth. I didn't explode or anything, so I thought, "Maybe this won't be so bad." My blood sugar level stabilized, and I was fine until lunch. Lunch was a healthy soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, not too bad.

But - just like an alcholic who has JUST ONE DRINK and then reasons to himself, "I"ll have JUST ONE MORE," I went for the bowl of jelly beans at Tom's sister's house and also had a glass of Pepsi. (Soda has been on my "no" list for two weeks, too.)

I only had half a glass (says the recovering sugaraholic) and perhaps a handful of jelly beans.

Within an hour or so, I was hugely bloated, like I was a python who had swallowed an antelope. (Do pythons eat antelopes?) Anyway, suffice it to say that I was very uncomfortable.

I had more of these unpleasant digestive issues going on for the rest of the night, even though I had soup and salad for dinner and was back in healthy eating mode. I'll spare you the graphic details.

This was an interesting test of the whole food sensitivity issue. As my body deva shared with me, there are two types of food: real food and "factory" food. Guess which kind is healthy for your body and which isn't?

Any candy which isn't homemade is laced with high fructose corn syrup, preservatives, additives, and other icky stuff. And soda is much the same.

So, I think I have determined that these things will have to return to my "No" list.

It's interesting - food sensitivities are an epidemic in this country, but most people never detox enough from eating preservative-laden foods or unhealthy stuff to be able to figure out what they're allergic to. It can be quite a puzzle, trying to figure out what's happening in your body.

Oh, along with the bloating, I had lethargy and tiredness yesterday after I ate the crappy foods. Quelle surprise. (Not!)

Since I've been eating healthier and have gone off of eating any meat, I have been waking up earlier, my skin has been clearer, and I've lost that pile of bloat that always seems to be parked around my mid-section whether my weight is at the higher end or the lower end. So even in just two weeks, there have been some incredible changes for the positive. I've also been more mentally sharp, feeling more alert. And my psychic sensitivity has increased by about 15%.

I suppose the moral of this story is -

BEWARE THE JELLY BEANS!

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-09T15:53:00.000-04:00

Spiritual Rebirth and the Easter Holiday

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always had a thing for bunny rabbits. They get me all gooey, as in, “Awwww, loook! A tineee little bunnee wabbit!”

I think I may know why. One concept that has become more accessible to the masses over the past twenty years is the idea that each of us has an animal “totem” or guide from the natural world. This comes to us from the Native American cultures who based their religious practices on a much closer ongoing relationship with Mother Nature. To them, animals have always been revered as unique teachers.

These folks didn’t see animals as “gods,” contrary to the beliefs of the early Christian Church. A “Great Spirit,” or loving, animating intelligence was seen to be the ultimate “God.” But animals, with their intimate connection to Nature’s cycles, had many lessons to teach us. For instance, by observing what animals were physically doing at different times of year, you could learn how to attune yourself to the seasons. When the squirrel started burying nuts in preparation for winter, this would act as a cue to trigger a person’s own preparation for the coming cold season.

Individuals were believed to possess their own unique totem (also called a “power animal.”) This being helped the person throughout their lifetime, rather like a fuzzy guardian angel, only the power animal acted as a guide in material matters. The animal’s strong connection to Mother Earth and her cycles made it an especially wise guide when a person needed to align themselves with the principles of creating and manifestation in the world of 3-D. So whenever you were confronted with challenges having to do with your physical health, financial well-being, or immediate physical environment, it was helpful to meditate upon your power animal to receive guidance. A guardian angel, on the other hand, concerned itself mainly with spiritual issues and the evolution of a person’s awareness of higher truths. So your guardian angel was more of a “4-D” helper, or a messenger from a more advanced dimension than this one.

It is said that hiking out in nature and paying attention to any animal that appears to you will help you to find your personal totem. I think the rabbit is definitely one of my totems. In my dreams and in my physical daily life, the bunny has always brought me helpful messages.

In my twenties I auditioned for lots of roles in the theater as part of my work as an actress. Every time I dreamed about a rabbit after an audition, I would end up getting the role. This was true whether or not, in my opinion, I had actually given a decent audition! So rabbits were accurate forecasters of me being given acting jobs.

And dozens of times when I have been at my wit’s end about something, Mother Nature has sent a physical bunny along to encourage me. One time I was agonizing over a relationship. As I took a drive in the car, I sent out a prayer requesting guidance on the subject. I had barely phrased the sentence in my head before I saw a white dwarf bunny loose in a nearby field. This pet had obviously escaped from somewhere, and the “coincidence” of his prison break was attuned to my need for an encouraging sign.

His appearance led me to focus on creating peace in my relationship, a relationship that has continued to the present day. I’m very glad for the bunny’s arrival on the scene.

Spring is the time of year for people like me. The European pagan goddess Eostre, traditionally depicted as a mother hare, lends her name to the coming Easter holiday. Eostre was always honored in the springtime when the first rabbits emerged from their burrows after the chilly winter. She was seen as a harbinger of hope and a bringer of good tidings. I don’t think that she would mind having her holiday blended in with today’s Christian Easter. She’d be very much in tune with Jesus’ message of personal renewal, of being reborn to a higher level of consciousness.

Whether or not you are a “bunny person” (and I know there are a few of you out there!), you might enjoy meditating on the idea of an animal totem. Usually, any animal that you’ve always felt strongly drawn to will end up being your power animal. There are a lot of great books, websites, and classes out there to help you discover more.

Here’s a site that provides a simple meditation to help you to connect with the energy of a power animal.

POWER ANIMAL INFO AND MEDITATION

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-07T20:21:00.000-04:00

The Body Deva Makes Contact

One of my readers was kind enough to share some of her own recent experiences which seem to run parallel to mine. She, too, sounds like an "accidental vegetarian."

Dear Jennifer,

Last week I finally got the cosmic shove to become vegetarian, with a little fish and chicken thrown in for the vital need of protein. The few times (very few times) I had considered going vegetarian, the thought was immediately dismissed as a truly crazy idea. Now, well, it's is as if something has totally changed me . . . it is like I have always been vegetarian . . . no cravings, not one thought about missing meat. Strange!

I guess at this point you must be thinking "This is one weird person," and you are probably correct. But, knowing that someone else is experiencing much of the same, I cannot help but communicate. The parallels are intriguing.

Thanks for listening,

Charlotte tischarlotte@msn.com

Thank YOU for writing, Charlotte. It's nice to compare notes with someone who is also going through some inner prompting to avoid meat and denser foods. Like you, I always thought vegetarians were a little suspect. I jokingly called them, "Sproutheads" behind their backs. (Not very enlightened, I know!) To me, vegetarians always seemed thin, spaced out, and a little grumpy, and I didn't want to follow in their footsteps.

Now it's been twelve days since I've been "allowed" to put any fast food, candy, fried junk, or other chemically-laden stuff in my body. And meat is something that, much as I am skeptical about myself actually being able to avoid it, I just can't eat now.

My boyfriend and I went out for lunch today and each ordered soup. I tried split pea, he ordered cream of potato. I forgot that split pea often has ham in it. Sure enough, it was riddled with the stuff. I looked at it and thought, "Maybe it's okay for me to eat this. It looks good." But every cell of my body just went, "Don't you do it." So I swapped and nabbed his cream of potato. (Yum!)

If you had told me a year ago that I'd be hunting through old cookbooks that I had long ago tossed aside because they were too "healthy," crammed with vegetarian recipes, I would have told you you were nutty. Now I'm the nut, as I've had to switch over to nut butters and raw nuts to help supplement my protein intake.

I was doing some meditating the other night and found myself connecting with an energy I'd never contacted before. This lovely, spritelike being appeared in my mind's eye, bathed in a swath of beautiful lilac color. She said that she was my "body deva," different from a guardian angel. The devic kingdom is assigned to watch over everything from stones, crystals, animals, and trees, but I never knew that we humans are also assigned one at birth. The deva keeps pretty quiet, helping regulate bodily processes, assisting us with absorbing energy from our food. She's like a helpful manager who quietly watches over body stuff in the background.

She gave me a long download of incredible information. When I tune into my guides, angelic helpers, spiritual teachers, and so forth, I always receive info in the form of information waves, exciting blasts of insights which sort of billow forth. As a writer, I'm always try to jot everything down so I can share it with others. Apparently, the body devas have a lot that they'd like to share with people about food, health, and energy levels. Looks like another book I need to write. Sigh. I only have 30 piling up inside of me, screaming to get out. I'd better get started!

The body deva said there are two types of food: "Real" food and what she rather sharply called "Factory food." Real food is created by a harmonious combination of team players like Mother Earth, the trees and plants, and the devic kingdom, who help to oversee many of nature's processes. The body deva said that it is a pleasure for the devas and plants to bring forth food for humanity, that that is part of a sacred agreement that they made with humanity many aons ago.

Things were okay up until the last hundred years or so when the dawn of the Industrial Age brought machines and pollution to our doors. And now, between genetically modified foods, chemical additives and preservatives, and artificial flavorings, we're moving farther and farther away from eating anything that bears any resemblance to its original form. The body deva said that food that is laden with preservatives, for instance, is hard for our bodies to absorb. She wasn't too happy about the genetically modified rice that is slated to be produced in California now. (I kid you not, the stuff has altered human genes spliced into it. This is openly reported in the media. Why would we cannibalize ourselves by eating pieces of us? If you'll recall, mad cow disease was caused by cows being given ground up cow flesh to eat as food. Cannibalism goes against nature, and it is bound to cause killer diseases if we allow this to enter our food chain.)

The body deva shared so much more, but the gist of her message is that you absorb nutrients and energy from food more rapidly and easily if you keep your food source as fresh as possible. She said, of the meats, fish and fowl are the lightest in density, and they don't take too long to process in the body. But frozen meat is dead and doesn't have much energy in it. Beef, she said, is pretty messed up now. The drugs in the meat, she said, are a contributive cause to things like fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and other "new" diseases. She said dairy cows are better, but meat cows are pretty filled with stuff.

She also added an interesting thing. She said fatigue, emotional imbalance, and depression are largely caused by the foods we eat. Again, if something is all additives, chemicals, and preservatives, or if it is a dense meat, the body has to divert a larger proportion of its energy reserves to break down the food in your body. You have to expend so much energy doing this that you will generally feel worn down from the very process of eating.

I listened to all of this and had instant flashes of the last 18 years or so of chronic fatigue, which has been intermittent for me.

She also told me a very significant thing, I thought: there really is something to eating free range chickens instead of ones that are raised in more appalling, penned up, conditions. We take on some of the emotions of the animals when we eat them, so if a cow or a calf (who had the misfortune of becoming veal for our table) has been raised in a crowded, mechanized, way, they're not happy. And we will absorb some of their sorrow when we eat them, through a sort of emotional osmosis. She said that this is a contributing cause to the epidemic of depression in people on the planet now. We've lost our sacred relationship with the animals who are kind enough to become our dinners, dishonoring them and their contribution to our lives.

So many teachings, so many things to think about.

I advise readers to discern for themselves and see if any of this information resonates with them. Myself, I'm excited to be learning so much new stuff about the body and its metabolism, how it processes food, and more.

Why do I get the feeling that this body deva has been trying to get my attention for a long, long, time? I'm glad I'm listening now!

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-06T14:13:00.000-04:00

Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves

I proposed a new astrology column to an editor at a high society magazine recently, and the editor sent me a nice rejection note. I say “nice” because he communicated in a polite and respectful way, and 99% of editors I submit material to never even have the courtesy to respond at all. So it’s always a pleasant surprise when someone acknowledges what I’ve sent them, even if the material isn’t right for their particular publication.

This editor informed me that he had been featuring a numerologist’s column for years, so he’d better just stick with her. He also mentioned that he had several friends who were astrologers, and he hinted that it would be safer and smarter for him not to rock the boat by making a change.

This attitude is common among people who have hooked up with metaphysical people like astrologers, numerologists, and the like who prey upon superstition and encourage dependency in their clients. This editor practically stated that he was afraid to fire his columnist because she might put a spell on him, curse him, or mess up his future in some way.

I absolutely detest the gypsies, tramps and thieves who act like squatters, asserting ownership and control over people. Any psychic, tarot or rune reader, medium, etc. who doesn’t enhance your own sense of being a sovereign, powerful, spiritual person is full of crap. There is a reason why astrologers merit such derision in the Bible, for instance. Even in Old Testament times, charlatans had set up shops and muddied this incredible ancient science with superstition, black sorcery, and all manner of evil.

Not much has changed today. When I encounter strangers in a social setting and happen to mention that I’m a writer who mostly writes on spiritual subjects, including astrology, people usually respond with fear or even anger. I swear that if I told people I was a prostitute, I’d receive a lot more respect. Sex is something people understand, but for some reason, the realm of the human spirit and the miraculous terrain of the higher mind scare the dickens out of people.

What they don’t realize is that they have been trained to respond that way. Every societal institution from our school systems to our churches to our governments discourage people from seizing control of their own spiritual “helm” and learning how to navigate themselves into a higher state of awareness and sensitivity. So many things are always knocking you down when you set yourself consciously on a spiritual path that most people give up before they even get started. Then, once you start to have your own moments of intuitive perception or peak experiences in prayer or meditation, it becomes difficult to share this with others. Gurus crawl out of the woodwork, telling you that you must spend thousands of dollars to train with them and take workshops. The walking wounded or “typhoid Marys” who have been dabbling in the occult for years, accumulating garbage in their energy fields, suddenly want to become your pals, thereby transferring their “cooties” to you.

And the various black magicians, fakes, and psychopaths who litter the streets of the New Age don’t help matters, either.

I’m going to be creating material which will be offered in a newsletter and in a series of books. The theme will be “The Cosmic Informer: Secrets from the New Age Underground.” Those who have eyes to see, a heart to feel, and a mind to discern are always perceiving the nonsense that is going on in spiritual circles. The information I’ll be sharing is based on over 18 years of experience in metaphysical and artistic circles. You’ll read stuff that makes you cry, things that make you laugh, and a great deal that will make your head spin. Every bit of it will be designed to provide practical yet sophisticated information to help you investigate the territory of your spiritual self in a safe, fun, and enlightening way.

The question is – are you ready for it? I’d certainly love to share this with you. Rest assured that, once you enter the Lipstick Mystic zone, you’ll be embraced with warm energy hugs and given tasty fuel for thought, without an icky aftertaste.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-04T21:19:00.000-04:00

The Accidental Vegetarian

I had a weird flu thing last week that resulted in two days of fever. I recovered pretty quickly, and I'm fine now. The fever was one of those rare events that happen to me every couple of years. It came on very fast, with little warning. I'm not a big fan of taking aspirin for a fever, because I believe our bodies know what's best for us. If something needs to be burned out of me, well, then, bring on that fever, and let's sweat it out!

The Native American tradition of attending sweat lodge ceremonies is based on this idea - that heating the body and inducing sweat allows you to expel poisons from your body. Even the sauna and the jacuzzi are variations on the same thing - get your body good and hot, and let that goop ooze out of you for good. (Maybe that's why I tend to avoid jacuzzis. I always get the sense that I'll just be sitting in a pile of somebody else's energy debris, and who wants that? It's different, I guess when you have a jacuzzi of your own. But, for now, anyway, I don't want to pick up anybody else's cooties.)

I felt a lot of healing and clearing going on during my fever, and I did some meditative work with my spiritual guides and helpers. So it all felt like a very natural process, one that I decided to flow with instead of push against.

I don't know if you ever saw the Bill Moyers special where he went to a lab and gave them a blood sample (or a tissue sample, I can't remember which.) He had them test it for chemicals, i.e., man-made substances that don't naturally occur in nature. The results were astonishing. He turned out to have huge amounts of toxic materials in him, and it is believed that his test results were representative of the wider population. So, at any given time, it's a safe bet that you've got yummy stuff like formaldahyde and petroleum products and detergents and other poisons amassing in your system.

Because of this fact and the highly industrialized society in which we live, our bodies truly do need to detox once in a while. While eating right and getting enough sleep is good, sometimes all that does is to maintain the status quo. Once in a while our systems need something stronger and more definitive. Sweating is very good for this, and a good workout can do much to clear you out. And, in my case, it seems like my body needed a fever to really get rid of some baggage that I had been carrying around.

I've been going through an intriguing dietary change, too, as I've been healing from this bug. Many times over the years, I've tried to be a good "New Ager" and attempted vegetarianism. I failed miserably at it. I would always feel spacey and ungrounded without having meat in my diet, and I also found that my cravings would go into overdrive. Whereas normally I might have a Big Mac attack once a month, it would suddenly become once a week after I attempted a vegetarian switchover. And sugar was something that I always gravitated to, indulging in candies or desserts whenever the mood struck me, without even trying to avoid them.

But this week, I've found myself craving fruits and vegetables like nobody's business. We went out to brunch today, and I found myself GETTING EXCITED about ordering "root soup" for my meal. The root soup consisted of carrots and parsnips in a puree and it was really good. But I had to laugh. Who in their right mind gets excited about having root soup for breakfast? What am I, a bunny rabbit? And yet, my body is totally rejecting meat right now. I keep thinking maybe I'm just supposed to go off of red meat and stay on chicken and fish, but I'm not sure. I'm suddenly craving good foods instead of bad ones, like maybe my illness helped me kick some of those bad cravings and helped orient me towards life-filled, prana-rich, items.

We also have been intuitively receiving information that it's a good idea to stay away from beef right now. I don't think it's because of mad cow disease. My sense is that more and more drugs are being injected into the beef cattle at this time (because of the growing fears about mad cow and other diseases.) And this excess intake of antibiotics or whatever in our food supply is bad news. There must come a point where the cows reach a saturation point with these various poisonous injections, and do we really want that same toxic stuff absorbed into our bodies?

That said, I'm still feeling okay about cheese, milk, and cream, and my sense is that the dairy cow population is not being subject to this same excess round of drugs as the beef cattle. Yet. Poor cows. They don't need all of these excess drugs circulating in their systems, either.

Maybe we need to start a movement to start sweat lodges for cows? Guide them through a healing and detox process? Let's support that cause in the next election. See which candidate will go for it. Whoever it might be, he'd definitely get my vote.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-02T14:36:00.000-05:00

The Full Moon and Dreams of Intergalactic Cocktail Lounges

This coming Monday, April 5th, is a full moon. It takes place at 7:03 a.m. EST in the sign of Libra. The full moon brings to a head any pent up emotional issues that we've been carrying around for the last four weeks (the most recent lunar cycle.) If you've been holding in a lot of anger or sorrow, you could experience a powerful release process as something triggers you to let it all out. This is a healthy thing, so don't worry if you're feeling a bit on edge. Your nervous system is trying to clear something out of you, so go ahead and jettison those toxic emotions. Just try to do it gently, without taking somebody's head off in the process!

Since the full moon occurs in the easy-going sign of Libra this month, Monday shouldn't be too intense. Yes, you may need to come to grips with something and deal with some strong emotional issues you've been carrying around. But this is likely to manifest in a relatively gentle way. You could have a sudden flash of insight that changes your perspective on things. Maybe you'll realize that you really really really hate poppyseed bagels, even though you've been chomping on them for years. "Why am I eating an opium source without enjoying any of the benefits?" you might wonder.

Or you could discover that you absolutely detest your bedroom's wallpaper. "Whatever made me think that polka dots were a good idea? They're making me dizzy!"

You might even gain some clarity about a significant factor in your relationship. "Whenever I ask my girlfriend 'What do you want to do?' and she says, 'I dunno,' it makes me want to smack her. Maybe I should tell her that she shouldn't be afraid to express strong opinions. A woman who knows her own mind is a sexy thing."

The full moon will definitely bring some sort of revelation, be it a major or a minor one. Pay attention to the dreams you have over the weekend, because a full moon period can generate vivid night-time dreamscapes. Quite often, the dramas unfolding in your dreams can clue you into what you need to take a look at in your daily, waking life.

Now, if I could just figure out what my own dreams are telling me. The other night, I dreamt about having cocktails at an intergalactic space port bar. It reminded me a little of the cantina scene in Mos Eisley in the first Star Wars movie, only the aliens were far less creepy, and the bar wasn't a dive. It was a rather luxurious sort of place with strange-shaped people hanging out, carousing and having fun.

I remember walking up to one dude in a scary-looking face mask which appeared to be part of a spacesuit he was wearing. I poked him and quipped, "You're not Darth Vader, are you? Heh heh heh."

He was not amused. I was lucky he didn't take out a light sabre and slice off my earlobe or something. Instead, he remained silent, and I continued my giddy circuit of the crowd.

Maybe we can arrange to meet in our dreams. That's a fun thing to try with a friend. I've managed to do it a few times, deciding ahead of time on a location and setting the intention to share a dream with someone. I'm not sure the exact address of the intergalactic cocktail lounge, but look for a place with lots of music, laughter, and loud chatter.

I'll see you there. Drinks are on me.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-04-01T18:13:00.000-05:00

Mercurial Activities

Mercury, planet of communication and interpersonal energy flow, moved into the sign of Taurus on Wednesday, March 31st. With Mercury in such a practical, straightforward sign, you'll find yourself drawn to activities where you'll be cutting through the crap, in one form or another. You could be inspired to respond bluntly when your girlfriend asks you, "Do these jeans make me look fat?" Or you might decide to be honest for once when your boss asks you to fill out an evalution on him. "Handles staplers and Post-It Notes well. Exceeds at activities which involve only one brain cell."

In other words, you could get into a little trouble if you're not careful.

While Mercury heightens your desire to communicate in a succinct, direct, and even brutally honest way, Venus moving into Gemini on April 3rd could create a sense of emotional detachment from whatever interpersonal drama you are involved with. Venus rules sentimentality, emotional closeness, and romantic impulses, but in the cerebral sign of Gemini, she'll be playing things a little cool. "I might go out with you, if your wallet is big enough/car is expensive enough/job is high profile enough."

Venus in Gemini carries an influence which is less about connecting authentically from the heart and more about coolly evaluating others from a safe distance. Venus in Gemini says, "Don't come too close, unless you can convince me that you are outstanding."

The best way to handle these planetary influences, which will last for about three weeks, is to count to ten before lashing into anyone and to pause before you voice personal criticism. Your sense of humor might be a little darker than usual, especially since Mercury will also be in retrograde for most of April. It goes into retrograde on Tuesday, April 6th, and goes direct on Friday, April 30th.

It's a good month to turn that sharp-tongued, cool and dispassionate viewpoint on yourself. What parts of your own life need fixing? Which relationships are no longer fruitful? What habits and attitudes merit a swift toss in the trash?

Do homework on yourself instead of trying to make over others, and you could make some major progress in April.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-03-31T16:39:00.000-05:00

Action in my Cat Blog

For the moment, there seems to be more action in my cat blog than in this one, but I promise to keep this one updated. You cat lovers out there might enjoy my companion blog called Life of 7 Cats (see link at sidebar.)

There you can read all about Teddy, Kirby, Roman, Becka, Earl, Smoky, Baby Smoky, and Tiger, our eight cats. All of them are strays or "cast-off" cats who needed a home and were sent our way. Over the past few years, we've been working hard at improving our ability to manifest abundance. Mostly, this abundance seems to be showing itself in the cat arena, but I suppose that's a starting place.

Life of 7 Cats, the blog, was started when there were only seven cats. Now it's more like Octopuss - Life of 8 Cats. Teddy, the latest addition, took refuge here in the subzero weather this winter and doesn't seem to be moving on. We've started looking for another home for him, as he was already neutered and obviously someone's indoor cat who ran off or got lost. So far, though, he's staying put here.

Even if you don't like cats and just want to gawk at how crazy cat people are, you might also get a kick out of the blog.

Check out our adventures in felinity.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-03-30T16:38:00.000-05:00

The Perils of Publishing

Many of my readers know by now that I publish a silly astrology column called The Cosmic Butt Kick. While I carefully base it on real astrology trends, I weave in ironic political comments, wacky stream-of-consciousness jokes, and gossip about pop cultural icons. If your love life is taking a beating and so is Ben Affleck's, I'll work Ben into your horoscope, crafting an analogy that relates your plight to his. (Although it sounds like he's doing pretty well these days, having left his Bennifer days behind him.)

My stuff isn't for everyone, I'm sure. Some people don't like my sense of humor. Others take issue with the very idea of an astrology writer even HAVING a sense of humor. That's one I don't get. It turns out that there is a surprisingly large segment of the population who, while interested in topics like spirituality, metaphysics, and psychology, feel that to handle these subjects with any sense of humor is somehow a hideous act. To them, somewhere along the line humor became divorced from spirituality, like oil and water.

For a while, a small arts weekly in Asheville, North Carolina, was running my column. The poor editor who had dared to run my column was besieged by complaints. One writer called my column "a crime against humanity." Shortly thereafter, they pulled my column.

So be it. Not everybody is going to like you, no matter what you try to do in this world. I can accept that. After that paper dropped the column, three other papers decided to run it. And they've been a great fit.

It's been a long road for me, trying to find the right "fit." I've spent a lot of years navigating the worlds of the arts, holistic health, metaphysics, and psychology. I was an intuitive spiritual counsellor for ten years, full-time, self-employed throughout.

I've spent the past five years or so working full-time as a writer, and also spend a lot of time doing healing work and pulling together cutting edge information about how to shift the negative energies within ourselves and within society towards the positive. Along the way, I've seen stuff that would make your hair curl, experienced horrors to rival those of the most seasoned veteran of war, and had to make constant, gut-wrenching choices about how to share my material with various audiences. Most of my past editors weren't interested in my writing about the real stuff. They wanted me to write for a fifth grade reading level, which is the reading level that most women's magazines are stranded at today. (And most books, for that matter, especially those in the self-help genre.)

The arts weeklies who are kind enough to run my sassy column produce material for a more sharper, more savvy readership. I love writing for them because of this. At last - a chance to utilize more than one brain cell when crafting a piece. This is bliss!

Still, astrology is a box, and it is a limiting one. The material I have to share, the experiences I've spent over 18 years carefully collecting, researching, and integrating, and the corresponding anecdotes that I've pulled in from thousands of others across the world make for a rich buffet of stuff. They encompass subjects ranging from angels to dreams to soulmates to self-healing.

Look for sharper, smarter food to be posted on my new website. I hope to have it up within the next month or two.

In the meantime, don't let anybody make you dumb yourself down. God was nice enough to give you a brain. Why on earth wouldn't you use it every day? We should all seek rewarding work, relationships, and past-times that will add to our mental fuel instead of inducing lethargy, depression, and fear.

www.lipstickmystic.com will tickle your brain cells when it's up. I promise.

Stay tuned.

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

2004-03-25T15:10:00.000-05:00

The Significance of Sedna and Oops, Another New Planet

In Western astrology (compared to other styles like Vedic or Chinese astrology,) whenever a new planet is discovered, its energies are factored into the cosmic landscape. So the announcement about this strange, red planetoid at the outer reaches of our solar system was very exciting to those of us who follow astrology. (I know it gave me a rush last week. But then, I’ve been drinking too much coffee.)

In recent years, more and more astrologers have started working with the major asteroids in their chart calculations. These include Vesta, Juno, and Chiron (which everybody thought was an asteroid, but it turned out to be a comet.) I usually don’t bother much with the asteroids, as I don’t feel that they carry the same degree of energy that the planets do. I think some of the astrologers who obsess about the asteroids need a new hobby. They project way too much on these far-away bits of rock and need something else to focus their attention on. Macrame, anyone?

But I might have to give Sedna a serious look. An honest-to-goodness planet can pack a powerful wallop, energy-wise, so it needs to be considered.

Of course, there is some debate over whether Sedna should even be called a planet, since it is smaller than Pluto, and even Pluto’s classification as a planet has been hotly debated by astronomers. Many astronomers feel that Pluto is too small to be a planet. (Then again, they might just be suffering from a case of Venus envy. Should size really matter?)

Sedna’s name might be changed, because it still has to gain the official approval of astronomers. But in the meantime, let’s look at what her name signifies.

Sedna is an Inuit goddess of the sea, a moody lady who creates storms if her people step out of line. If you dishonor the land or harm other humans, Sedna kicks up chaotic energy. So it’s best to keep this lady happy. She can be seen as a vengeful goddess, but she is also a fierce, motherly protector. An odd choice for a planetary “deity,” but then, so was Quaoar.

What, you haven’t heard of Quaoar? The same team of astronomers who discovered Sedna found Quaoar in 2002. Quaoar is another smallish planetoid at the edge of our solar system who takes just 288 years to rotate around the Sun (compared to Sedna, who takes 10,500 years in its elliptical orbit.) Quaoar was named after a creation god honored in the North American Tongva tribe. This tribe was indigenous to the L.A. basin area.

You can read more interesting info about Quaoar here:

QUAOAR INFO

For info on Sedna, check out this link:

SEDNA INFO

Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Quaoar, and Sedna are viewed as transpersonal planets. Their impact is global, affecting entire generations instead of individuals. This is because they take their good old time ambling through the zodiac. Pluto takes about 192 years to progress through all of the signs, while the Moon only takes a month. The inner planets (the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn) are the ones who fuel our daily soap operas, affecting emotional equilibrium, mental agility, and physical stamina. The outer planets oversee larger, longer cycles in our lives. They deal more with issues of “tribe,” i.e., our larger human family and the society we choose to interact with in this life.

If you’d like to see ephemerides for Quaoar and Sedna, the Swiss Ephemeris staff at Astrodienst has already posted them. Keep in mind that the data on Sedna is preliminary and may still be tweaked. But the dates for Quaoar should be solid.

Quaoar ephemeris:

QUAOAR EPHEMERIS

Just scroll down the list to find your date of birth. After it you’ll see an abbreviation like “Tau” for Taurus, “Gem, “for Gemini, etc. That means that the planet was in that sign on that date.

Sedna ephemeris:

SEDNA EPHEMERIS

I just found out that my Sedna is in Taurus. Since Sedna’s energies would appear to involve the aspects of ourselves that are protective, righteous, and fighting for just causes (with an occasional dose of bloody revenge thrown in for good measure,) my guess would be that having Sedna in Taurus makes me approach issues of injustice in a practical way. “What can I do to fix this?” is my mantra. This certainly would appear to apply to me. I’m a trouble-shooting, advice-giving, type of chick, always seeking the solutions to problems.

I think it’s quite likely that people born in the generations who have Sedna in Taurus signed on to roll up their sleeves and work on fixing the mess that we’ve gotten into here on Earth over the last 100 years. I hope that everyone who is drawn to that path will succeed! We sure could stand some fixin.’

Where is your Sedna?

lipstickmystic@comcast.net or astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-03-23T15:27:00.000-05:00

Readings Now Available - Limited Time Only

For several months now, I've been receiving requests from people to do readings for them. If you're unfamiliar with me and my work, I was a full-time psychic counselor for ten years, working with people on trouble-shooting relationship, career, and spiritual issues. I used a blend of techniques which included tarot, direct intuitive "tune in," and astrology. You may have heard me on one of my appearances on North American radio. I used to do a ton of morning show spots, and I was even featured on a few TV shows (doing ghostbusting work - another one my weird areas of specialty!)

I'm in the process of putting up a website where I will have lots of interesting publications available for sale, including books, newsletters, and reports. At that time, I will be switching over my business and won't be able to offer readings anymore. But for the next month or two, I anticipate room in my schedule to be able to provide a limited number of readings.

These days, I do written readings via email, and these are paid for the old-fashioned way - by snail mail check or money order. I offer a short, mini-reading for $55 (which covers roughly three main questions or areas of your life.) This comes out to several pages of text when I write up your reading.

I also do an in depth reading that takes me a lot longer to do. This type of reading gets into the background issues and energies that are at play in your life, and it is a deeper type of reading that touches upon spiritual issues as well as "mundane" stuff (job, relationship, money.) The energy that we are using or misuing in our lives directly affects those day-today issues, and I love to help people to see the patterns that they have set up in their lives - so they can change the ones that aren't working. This reading takes me over an hour to do, and I first tune into your energies and then type up a written report of what I find. An in depth reading costs $95, and payment is by snail mail check or money order.

I like to give you a copy of your birth chart as part of this, just so that you can see some of the astrological influences that are at play in your life. I can send you your chart by snail mail or as a PDF file. To construct a birth chart, I need your full name, date, time, and location of birth (the town you were born in.) If you can't find out your time of birth, that's okay. Rising signs are only a minor part of the astrological equation, as far as my readings are concerned (although some astrologers swear by them. We all have our eccentricities in this field!)

I'm told my readings are unusual in their clarity. While I don't try to predict the future (because each day, you create your future based on the choices that you make,) I do work hard to pinpoint areas that you can change or improve so as to create a better future. I come at my readings with an approach that is a combination of holistic healing and spiritual counseling. For all the sassy jokes I like to make while writing some of my columns, I am actually a serious student of metaphysics who has been involved in this work for over 18 years. The humor is just a bonus! : )

Feel free to get in touch with me if you have more questions about me or my readings:

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-03-19T17:12:00.000-05:00

Happy Spring Equinox! - Time to Banish Fear

If you’re interested in pagan holidays, you probably already know that the spring equinox falls on March 19th this year. To be precise, the positive energy of the equinox kicks in at exactly 10:49 pm. EST tonight. But did you also realize that the Sun moves into the astrological sign of Aries the Ram at the same time? These two events happening together mark the start of the “pagan” New Year (also called the astrological New Year.) So get out your party hats, everyone!

In case you’re wondering, pagans aren’t really devil worshippers, and although many early pagans did the occasional odd thing (such as dancing naked around a maypole in celebration of the spring,) they were much maligned by the Catholic Church’s negative PR campaign. Pagans were said to practice animal (and even human!) sacrifice, although no archeological evidence has ever been found to support this theory. Pagan comes from the Latin word “paganni,” or “country dweller.” People who lived in the country were more in tune with the energies of the land, and they kept alive the ancient wisdom about the powerful equinox and solstice energies.

The Europeans pagans, especially the Celts, were very similar to the Native Americans in their religious practices. Central to their life philosophy was the belief that everything in creation possessed spiritual energy. This included the Earth, who was revered as a motherly protector, and all of her plant and animal creatures.

This reverence for all of life was reflected in the pagans’ sacred rituals. Their priest/astrologers knew that the Earth moved through four major cycles or seasons, and that each season began with a solstice/equinox, or time of balancing. The two solstices and two equinoxes were chosen as powerful times of year to hold religious festivals because the spiritual energies of the planet were said to be the strongest then.

The spring equinox was usually the time for the wildest, most unrestrained expressions of religious ecstasy. In contrast with our solemn Easter masses of today, the spring equinox inspired the pagans to sing at the top of their lungs and stomp their feet in frenetic dance (to help awaken the Earth from her winter slumber!) The vernal equinox marked a time of personal (and natural) renewal, a time for fresh starts, for reclaiming one’s lost hope and innocence.

Astrology also came into play in the springtime. Early astrologers (who functioned as the scientific astronomers as well as the mystical forecasters of their day) patterned their metaphysical science after the progression of the seasons. Symbolic representatives were chosen for each month of the year. Aries, the Ram, became both the patron of the astrological New Year and herald of the spring.

What an appropriate figurehead for spring! The Ram, or adult male sheep, is full of willful, bullying force. We all need a little of this aggressive energy to help us shake off our winter lethargy. The Ram’s energy is handy for motivating us to do spring housecleaning, our income taxes, and any other intimidating chores.

But the Ram has a softer side, too, in the form of his offspring. Early cultures also revered the lamb, the baby sheep, as a symbol for spring. The innocent, even helpless, energy of the lamb inspires us to get in touch with our own childlike purity. The early Christian Church adopted this image and spoke of Jesus as “the lamb of God.” Many scholars also believe this to be a coded astrological reference to the actual birth time of Christ, which may have occurred in the spring. If Jesus was an Aries baby, he would have been born somewhere between March 20th and April 21st, which is the range of time when the Sun graces the sign of Aries in the sky.

Astrology was respected throughout the ancient world as a tool for marking the passage of the seasons (an early calendar) and for guiding people in understanding spiritual energies. More distorted practices unfortunately developed later, causing astrology to degenerate into mere “fortunetelling” for profit. Once the spiritual side of astrology was excised, astrologers became the 1-900 psychics of their day! No wonder then, that certain passages of the Bible warned against this lower form of astrological practice. Anyone who puts on the guise of spiritual advisor without genuinely caring about your soul has ventured off the path of sincere metaphysical seeker and joined the ranks of “get rich quick” schemers.

True astrology has much to teach us about the cycles of life and the energies of nature. In a society that has become so disconnected from the natural world, remembering the practices of the ancients can be inspirational. Think about the sheer power of Aries the Ram as you face that dreaded spring cleaning. And don’t forget the image of the sweet little lamb as you start noticing the cute baby birds, squirrels, and other creatures making their appearance on the planet this spring.

The uplifting energy of the vernal equinox will give you a much-needed lift to help you shake off the fears and the depression of winter and to march into a dynamic spring. Use this cosmic gateway to access feelings of sovereignty and personal power, and make this a real season of joy. You deserve it!

Here’s a neat link that provides lots of info about the equinoxes and solstice times:

FUN INFO ON THE EQUINOXES AND SOLSTICES

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-03-12T18:28:00.000-05:00

Psychopaths Running Amok

By now, you've probably heard about the bomb blasts on the commuter train in Madrid that are said to have killed some 200 people and injured many more. Today, over two million people took to the streets to protest this senseless act of violence. That's a lot of solidarity against an act of madness.

Whenever we can stand against the insanity of violence and just say, "No more," this is a good thing. However, such passion and pain can easily erupt into their own violent reaction, and you can never stop violence with more violence. I believe it was Ghandi who said, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." And so it does.

The consciousness of violence is a tricky one in our culture. We have a war or two in each generation. If we're honest with ourselves, we have to admit that we have all experienced post-traumatic stress syndrome. There isn't a single age range among US citizens who hasn't felt the effects of violence played out in wars.

Maybe you didn't go to war, but your dad did, and the mental and physical wounds he suffered affected how he treated you when you were growing up. Maybe you didn't go to war, but your friend did. Remember the pal who was so happy and carefree in college? After joining the military and visiting Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia, or perhaps even Iraq a second time, he wasn't so carefree anymore. He experienced soul loss, as all warriors do.

I've been reading a fascinating book by Dolores Cannon called The Convoluted Universe: Book One.

THE CONVOLUTED UNIVERSE: BOOK ONE

Cannon is a gifted hypnotherapist who has been conducting past life regressions for people throughout her long career. Along the way, her work has stumbled into some amazing territory besides reincarnation. In her books, she includes detailed spiritual "downloads" that her subjects were able to access through hypnosis. The information covers everything from the pre-history of humanity to the true nature of UFO's to the Earth changes that ended the civilization of Atlantis. She culls information from hundreds of different people.

It seems that we all have access to this same "library" of information, but most of us can't maintain a deep level of trance while also retaining memory of this information in our conscious mind. So that's where Dolores, who directs the discussion with questions, and a tape recorder come in handy. She's been able to collect some amazing material from people who don't consider themselves to be psychic or in any way special.

She was working with one man, a Vietnam vet who experienced chronic, debilitating pain. These were physical symptoms without any "medical" cause. The doctors told him it was all psychosymatic and loaded him up on painkillers, telling him he would have to just learn to live with the pain.

In Cannon's work, she often discovers the true cause of a person's disease or discomfort. In her work with this man, she found that he was an extreme empath, a highly sensitive person, and that being in a war situation just completely overloaded his nervous system. He soaked it all up like a psychic sponge and could still feel the pain and suffering of others that he witnessed. It was like he recorded the energy of that pain in his own body and was still playing it back, over and over again, more than a decade after those things happened.

What most people don't realize is that we're all psychic sponges. We are all empathic and connected to the rest of humanity. Whenever somebody else is suffering, we feel it, and there are measurable effects in our bodies down to the DNA level. Some exciting scientific experiments have proven this - many of them, ironically enough, performed by the government. Just because someone is a "stranger" doesn't mean that we don't have a psychic link to him. In a spiritual sense, there is no such thing as a stranger.

Every generation who faces war experiences collective post-traumatic stress syndrome. And the soldiers on the front lines receive a more concentrated, spiritually deadly, dose.

The shamanic traditions of healing teach that "soul loss" occurs whenever we experience emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical trauma, and that bits of our energy become fragmented or separated from us. Until we reclaim these fragments, there will always be a piece of our essential self missing, caught up in reliving old pains.

Soul retrieval involves invoking a Higher Power's aid to reclaim and restore these fragments to you, asking that they first be cleansed of all negative emotions and illness. Then your spiritual guides, angelic helpers, and Higher Power work to restore this lost energy to you.

What's neat about soul retrieval is that it doesn't just relieve symptoms like sorrow, fatigue, or distraction. It cures them at a fundamental level.

Although working with a trained shaman is good, you can also invoke and pray for this on your own behalf and experience soul retrieval on your own. You can work with Jesus, Buddha, Krisha, Mother Mary, or any of the spiritual helpers you honor in your own personal spiritual practice. All of these wonderful beings are eager to help you to experience healing.

I will be writing more about shamanistic healing techniques on my new website and in future books.

Warriors are the ones in need of the most healing, because they have been through the worst types of trauma. But all those who love others and care about what happens to people halfway round the world also experience grief that causes pieces of their soul stuff to slip away.

It's time that we reclaim our energy from the violent people, situations, and mindsets that have stolen it away from us.

Let's permanently shift the consciousness that allows war to happen. There's no other way for us to become whole.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-03-10T15:19:00.000-05:00

Announcement - I'm Now Posting News Items at Rumor Mill News!

I'm excited that Rayelan Allen, the owner of alternative news site, Rumor Mill News, has accepted my application to become a "news agent" at her site. I will be posting links to articles about the paranormal, political stuff, and spirituality in general. I'll be posting under my nickname, Lipstick Mystic. Look for me to be expressing some strong opinions there, because after almost 20 years in the metaphysical community, I've seen a whole lot of stuff that would make your hair stand on end....and I'm ready to go public about it in a big way. (In case you're wondering, I'm 35, but I often feel like I'm 55!)

This blog will also be branching out in some new directions as I prepare to launch a website, www.lipstickmystic.com, later this spring. Check back here frequently, as I'll be making updates several times per week instead of only once in a while. And please send me your funky questions about the paranormal, which I'm happy to respond to in future blog posts.

The whole "Prime Directive" behind the Rumor Mills site is to help people shake off the brainwashing that the traditional, controlled media creates in readers. Did you know that a huge amount of stuff is happening in the world that our governments do not allow to appear in the mainstream press? Even Connie Chung was fired from her co-anchoring job on CBS in 1995 after someone asked her how they chose which news items to run and she said something like, “That’s easy. We run what Washington tells us to run.” She lost her position right after that. Sounds like she had been a bit too honest with her response.

That particular incident remained under the radar, but it is symptomatic of a much bigger problem, one that few of the "sleeping masses" are aware of - namely, the flow of information in this country is tightly controlled. It's really scandalous. There are a whole range of subjects that are considered taboo, and reporters risk their lives and their careers every day to deliver stories on them. These forbidden subjects include a lot of surprising holistic health data, blood-curdling facts about military shenanigans, and seemingly "far out" stuff like the proliferation of UFO sightings and amazing metaphysical discoveries being made in laboratory settings worldwide.

For instance, did you know that a Russian girl is currently being tested in England who possesses “X-ray” vision? She can actually see inside people’s bodies and describe what is going on there. She has accurately described blockages, old bone fractures, and other highly specific medical problems that people have had. But you’ll never hear about her on the nightly news. The miraculous powers of the mind are very threatening to the powers that be.

Rumor Mill News is a wild place. Scroll through some of the articles, and I guarantee that you'll find stuff that gets you mad, gets you thinking, or gets you daydreaming about the true scope of your potentials as a spiritually sovereign, infinitely powerful, being.

In many ways, we live on a prison planet, and the shackles are of our own creation. Rumor Mill News shines a light on what is really happening behind the scenes, if only we have courage enough to take a look.

Check out the site:

Rumor Mill News

(You can also click on the link in the sidebar to the right.) Go to their Reading Room area, and you’ll find amazing stuff posted there every day.

You can also check out a thread I started on scientists who have claimed to have found proof of the afterlife:

Scientist Discovers Evidence of Afterlife

I hope you'll join us over at the site. Our goal is to keep readers' minds stretched and open so that you can be taken to some new places!

Let's go for a ride.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-03-04T14:29:00.000-05:00

Saturn Goes Direct on Sunday, March 7 (Yippee!)

Of all the planets, Saturn is the task master, a stern, frequently grumpy dude who is always putting us through our paces. He ensures that we finish our homework on time (or, if we don't, we pay the consequences.) He gets us to follow the "rules" and to accept restrictions and responsibilities. He's not a Fun Friend, but he is a wise teacher. Basically, Saturn is in charge of making sure that we move ahead in an orderly, disciplined fashion, doing our best to live sensible lives.

Saturn has been retrograde since November, but this planet goes direct on Sunday, March 7th. During this period, many of us have experienced setbacks in our fortunes. We've had to work harder but have seemingly gotten nowhere. We've put in more hours, energy, and effort, only to receive little in the way of visible returns. Call this a period of character building. (Yeah, I know. Yuck!)

Annoying though it has been, you have to admit that you've probably learned a thing or two throughout this time. This is what happens when Saturn is in retrograde. You tend to acquire knowledge through adversity. So if you've been trying to improve a relationship with someone and things have only gotten harder, that's a symptom of Saturn having been in retrograde. Or if you had grand plans to increase your financial flow or get a better job, this has probably been delayed. You expected your situation to improve, but it's taken much longer than you expected. That's a common side effect of Saturn being in retrograde. (The rat bastard. Ahem.)

Saturn forces us to learn spiritual lessons, those difficult subjects like patience, fortitude, and unconditional love. Let's face it. We don't really practice those things, most of the time, unless we're pushed. So, while Saturn's retrograde motion can make things feel harder, you're actually growing MORE throughout these times. After all, nothing significant is ever accomplished when things are too easy!

The good news is that, as Saturn goes direct on Sunday, you'll start to see real results from all of that effort you have diligently been putting in since November. Suddenly, just when you'd given up hope on salvaging your romantic relationship, things will feel brighter, happier, and easier with that person. It could be time to buy His and Her Jack Russell terriers or elope to Vegas. Or after months of job searching, a great opportunity will finally present itself. You'll have the opportunity to sign up for a welding class, complete with job placement assistance. Look for some signs of improvement.

Things will continue to flow better over the next two months. They'll REALLY start to feel nicer around May 4th, when Jupiter goes direct. Jupiter has been in retrograde since January, which has also held back some of those feelings of ease and signs of progress. But, as we coast into spring, the planets will release their strangehold on our spirits and gradually lighten us up.

If you're planning a big party, schedule it for May 5th - or shortly thereafter. You'll want to socialize, flirt, and have mindless fun by then. (These days, you're probably too busy working on new frown lines to be in the mood for play.)

Overall, things will feel a lot lighter throughout the rest of March, and they'll just get better and better through April and May. Make note of situations that suddenly start to feel easier, nicer, calmer. And thank Saturn, stern father figure, for finally cutting you some slack. (It's about @#$%ing time, right? :)

2004-02-24T14:58:00.000-05:00

It's Not to Late to Sign Up!
Online Course: Using Dreams as Inspiration for Fiction Writing
Starts: Monday, March 1, 2004
Cost: $40
Delivered entirely by email, class discussion done by email

I'm so psyched about teaching this class next week. This is a wonderful opportunity for people to learn to use the content of their dreams in a practical way. Have you ever had a dream that made you stand up and take notice - one which made you go, "Whoa! I should write a movie or a book about that!" Or have you ever just had a brief snippet of a dream that made you wonder "Where did that come from?"

In this class, you'll learn how to improve your dream recall, identify various types of dreams, and see how you can use snippets from your dreams to jump-start your fiction writing. Whether you already write professionally or are simply looking for a fun way to exercise your creative mind, this course will stimulate your imagination and provide rich fuel for thought.

Students are only required to do three brief writing exercises, and these aren't graded or anything. You don't even have to share your writing with anyone, but you can if you wish. The rest is all discussion and fun. You'll even have the opportunity to work with a dream buddy and share chat, input, and material from your dreams.

If you have troubles remembering your dreams - don't worry! You'll be given everything you need here to explore your dream world in a creative way, even if you have to "borrow" a dream from somebody else or use pieces of a dream you remember from long ago.

Come have fun with us at WritersWeekly.com. You can read more about the course here and sign up:

http://www.writersweekly.com/wwu/courses/dreamers.html

Looking forward to seeing you there!

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-02-20T15:40:00.000-05:00

Can Librans Get Along with Scorpios?

Hi Jennifer,

Without telling you too many details to influence your gut reaction...could I ask: what IS your gut reaction to a Libra-Scorpio couple? I've always been afraid of Scorpios, but I met one and...we seem to be CRAZY about each other, and not just sexually.

I'm not asking for a freebie chart reading here, but do you think there's any hope for this combo? I've never really dated a Scorpio before - most of them seem to be psychos. (PS: According to my chart from you, my Venus is in Scorpio, so...does that explain why I'd have such a good sexual matchup with a Scorpio?)

Just curious about your thoughts on this. - Hopeful New Yorker

Dear Hopeful,

By all means, don't dismiss the possibilities of a relationship with a Scorpio. I always advise people to ignore that cliched Sun sign compatibility stuff, anyway, because it only shows one side of the equation. So many other things come into play, like your Moon signs, Rising signs, Mercury signs, etc., and how those components of your personalities fit together. We're all astrological "mutts," composed of many different elements, so it's important to steer clear of generalities when you're trying to get to the bottom of compatibility issues.

As a Libra, you're good at finding common ground with all of the other signs, so unlike, say, a more anti-social Pisces, it shouldn't be hard for the two of you to find a good flow. Also, with your Venus in Scorpio, you'll find a lot of nice chemistry in the day-to-day flow of things. You'll probably share many of the same tastes in music, art, and other downtime activities and interests. And the lust quotient will be strong here, on the level of a nice, intense, steam.

I have to say that I have found Scorpios to sharply divide themselves into two distinct categories....the Son of Lucifer/Child of Darkness type and the Cheery Philosopher/Part-Time Mystic type. Sons of Lucifer, obviously, walk on the dark side. There are usually some obsessive behaviors that they'd rather hide from their partner, such as, say, a tendency to carve upside down pentagrams into their palms or a burning desire to obliterate themselves through glue sniffing or other questionable lifestyle choices. In short, steer clear of these. You'll spot them quickly enough. If you detect a shifty, evasive, and darkly moody aspect to your Scorpio's personality, there's a high probability that this is a Son (or Daughter) of Lucifer.

Cheery Philosopher/Part-Time Mystic Scorpios are the "lighter" Scorpios. These people are clever, fun, and warmly emotional. They make good psychologists, artists, and actors, because they embrace the mysteries of the human condition and are skilled at understanding behavior. Lighter Scorpios are more open to spirituality in all of its forms, but unlike granola-chomping lacto-vegetarian Aquarians, they maintain a light touch on the spiritual journey. They aren't vigilantes, fundamentalists, or Nazis, generally speaking. You'll find more open-mindedness here.

A Son of Lucifer might invite you to join him in a blood-letting ritual at his favorite coven. (Note to my witchy friends: I am not implying that all coven members are Satanic blood-letting types. Most of you are sweet, Earth mothery, nature-lovin', wise womyn. But you know the Dark Ones of whom I speak, those fools who choose to play with forces they don't understand and which, eventually, are doomed to consume them.)

A Cheery Philosopher will treat you to a showing of a quirky art-house movie and want to deconstruct the characters afterwards over curry or sushi, some kind of tasty ethnic food.

A relationship with a Son of Lucifer makes you feel like you escaped a train wreck (after you're out of it.)

A relationship with a Cheery Philosopher will teach you intriguing, fun and amazing things about yourself and about life in general.

I'm guessing your new pal is a Cheery Philosopher. This type of Scorpio can do well with a bright and talkative Libra. Both of you are great communicators with a lovely sense of fun.

I'd say go for it, and report back and tell me what happens! (I am so nosy. But then, I AM a Virgo. So there you go.)

Best wishes for a lovely spring romance,
Jennifer

PS: Readers - It's not too late to sign up for my fun writing course that will show you how to harvest the content of your dreams and use it as a take off point for fiction writing. See blog entry below for details.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-02-16T10:31:00.000-05:00

The Sun's Move Into Pisces
Also: Writing Class that I am Offering - Starts March 1st
Subconscious Scribes: Using Dreams as Inspiration for Your Fiction Writing
Sign Up Now!

On Wednesday, February 18th, the Sun moves into the dreamy sign of Pisces, where it will remain until March 20th. As the Sun moves through Pisces for the next four weeks, things that are hidden, intuitive, or subconscious will be highlighted. Your dreams might be more vivid than usual, so this is a great time to jot things down in a dream journal. * Speaking of which: I'd like to take a moment for a special announcement: *

On Monday, March 1st, I will begin teaching a six week course online through WritersWeekly.com called:

Subconscious Scribes: Using Dreams as Inspiration for Your Fiction Writing.

You can sign up for the class at WritersWeekly.com, a wonderful resource site for writers of all persuasions, from the novice to the professional. You can also take a moment to sign up for Angela Hoy's free weekly newsletter, which contains tons of writerly tidbits, freelance job postings, and helpful information on the business of writing.

The class is delivered to you by email in six weekly installments, and each installment contains juicy information about how to understand your dreaming life better, learn how to harvest and remember your dreams more readily, and, most importantly, the class contains simple, short writing exercises which will show you how you can take dream content and use it to fuel your creative writing. This class is fun, funky, and a great way for you and I to connect more personally. (I'll be emailing you throughout the class time with comments and feedback.)

The class costs just $40, and you can pay for it by credit card at WritersWeekly.com.

Just visit the link here:

www.writersweekly.com

Here's the description of the course:

Sometimes the best story starters are not found in books...

Do you sometimes have dreams that are strange, wild, and surprising? Even if you don't always remember your dreams, you may have had a few over the years that made you think, "I should write a story about that" or "That was like a scene from a movie!"

Dreams are messages from the subconscious mind, and they can help you tap into your own deep well of creativity. For six weeks, Jennifer Shepherd, intuitive counselor, freelance writer and a columnist serving 2 million readers, will guide you in harvesting the content of your dreams and using it as fuel for your fiction writing. You'll be shown specific exercises, techniques, and tips that will make dream recall easier, and you'll learn how to use dream content as a take off point for your fiction writing. This class will not only jump-start your imagination, but is a lot of FUN as well!

Join Subconscious Scribes today! Read more here:

http://www.writersweekly.com/wwu/courses/dreamers.html

I hope that you'll join me, because I know many readers of my blog are interested in dreams and also have creative talents. This will be a great way for you and I to "meet," no matter which part of the world you live in. Let's work together to make your imagination come to life!

Okay, back to the Sun's move through Pisces. Over the next four weeks, as I've said, things that are hidden, intuitive, or subconscious will come to the forefront. You might find yourself more intrigued by ancient mysteries, wondering who really built those pyramids, anyway? Or you might be consumed with figuring out a perplexing and contradictory person in your life, trying to understand what really makes him tick.

Your psychic talents could spring into action, especially if you are a Water sign. Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces will all receive an extra dose of intuition at this time. And people with their Rising sign or Moon sign in a Water sign will also find that those extra senses are activated. Pay attention to anything that is coming over your psychic radar, because those hunches could prove uncannily accurate.

Aspects of yourself that tend to remain hidden or repressed might also kick up during this time. You might end up wondering just why you have an obsession with doorknob collecting, or you could ask yourself "Why do I have such a phobia about sun-dried tomatoes? Did one kill me in a past life?" Odd or unruly parts of your psychology could rise up all of a sudden, forcing you to look at them. This is a good time to get to the heart of the matter. Do you have a personal quality, a habit, or an attitude that needs purging? Or, if you are uncovering a more endearing aspect of yourself that often remains hidden, should you find a way to express this part of you more? Why repress that giddy sense of humor or that powerful talent for mimicry? Dare to unearth parts of you that are hidden treasures.

This can be an exciting period of self-discovery for all the signs. Do a little digging into those parts of yourself that usually remain hidden, and mine these resources for personal gold.

You just might get rich.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-01-22T16:09:00.000-05:00

The Year of the Monkey

Happy Chinese New Year! If you're a Monkey like me, the New Year kicks off a powerful period of growth, opportunity, and expansion. Fellow Monkeys (those of you born in 1956, 1968, and 1980) will feel enthusiastic and psyched about going ahead and making their dreams come true this year. So get out there and grab some bananas!

Monkey years are times of increased communication and sometimes, frenetic energy. People of all of the signs (especially sensitive Rabbits and hard-working Oxen) should be careful not to hyper-extend themselves in any way. We're all going to be feeling like we want to get extremely busy, and we can take on too many commitments if we're not careful. Don't expect to find the cure for cancer, adopt a Cambodian orphan, and start a home-based business all within one year. You'll feel like Superman (or Wonder Woman,) but remember that you still have a "mortal" side that needs sleep, food, and time off.

A sense of play and an increased appreciation for friends and aquaintances will also come into focus for everybody throughout this Monkey year. It's a great time to check out new social settings, clubs, or causes that will put you within the orbit of interesting types. Join a llama wrangling organization or sign up for the local Bigfoot Society. (I know that Pennsylvania has one. It's the Pennsylvania Bigfoot Society.)

Most of all, this is a year for rapid changes and shifts in direction. Expect your mindset about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness to go through some intriguing changes.

Sounds like fun to me.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-01-16T16:48:00.000-05:00

The Hounds of Winter

I've always loved that gloomy song by Sting called "The Hounds of Winter." It's on his Mercury Falling album. With a wind chill factor of something like 30 degrees below here in New Jersey, I'm starting to hear those hounds bay. Or maybe it's banshees. Or it could just be an old farmhouse that isn't exactly airtight breaking wind. (This house was built some 100 years ago.) Anyway, I'm hearing stuff.

Since our seven cats are craving extra body warmth, it's more like "The Cats of Winter," anyway. My upstairs office has no heat, so felines are more than welcome. I get less work done with the cats pressing "delete" or leaving the caps lock key on for me, but hey, at least icicles aren't growing on my nose anymore. I'll take whatever warmth I can get.

The brutal cold seems to carry a spiritual component with it, too, and many people are feeling burned out, run down, and just generally peeved about now. Between the worsening of the situation in Iraq, staggering unemployment numbers, and an abundance of flu germs going around, everybody seems to be under the weather, one way or another.

I'd say it's a time for all of us to take extra care of ourselves and each other. Kindness doled out in generous portions can do much to warm the heart and the body.

Jupiter went into retrograde on January 3, where it will remain until early May. Jupiter is the planet of expansion, luck, growth, and anything "big." When Jupiter is pulling back like this, you can expect a corresponding pull-back in the economy. Indices like the NASDAQ and the DOW are likely to stay lower during this time. A lot of big companies might announce bankruptcies. People will generally find that they are more strapped for cash than they expected to be. The best thing to do is to keep a careful count of those pennies and not to do anything extremely extravagant until spring.
Buy that diamond ring for your honey in May. Wait to purchase that Porsche Boxster until the warm weather kicks in.

That's not to say that this can't be a time of progress, because it will be - especially for Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn. With success planet Jupiter in Virgo for most of the year, all Earth signs will receive a nice "tweak" on the financial and success fronts. By the end of the year, most Earth signs will be on the move, either into a new residence, a better job, or a more powerfully shaped role at their current workplace. Think bigger, not smaller, but don't be in a hurry to get there. Things might not fully take off until May. In the meantime, you're on the launch paid. May is when that lottery ticket could finally hit gold, Hollywood will call with an offer you can't refuse, or a relationship could move ahead in surpising and wonderful ways.

In the meantime, it's best to snuggle in, bundle up, and refine those big plans to take over the world.

They'll happen.

Just be patient.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-01-06T09:48:00.000-05:00

A Reader's Winter Solstice Resolutions

Note: The energy of the winter solstice is still with us for another couple of weeks, so it's not to late to do as John is doing, making some sweeping changes in your life.

Dear Jennifer,

In your Dec. 22 "Cosmic butt-kick" weblog, you wrote:

"The winter solstice is a great time to figure out what we need to release from our lives. Magicians and shamans use this time of year to perform banishing rituals, where cords are broken that connect them to unhealthy relationships, or bad habits or unhealthy attitudes are consciously released. This is the perfect time to let go of stuff that you have outgrown.

We can take a cue from those who are still attuned to the true energy of this time. Make a list of what you want to release from your life, and meditate, invoke your guides and angels, or pray on these things. You'll find that some surprising insights will come to you, and you'll feel clearer about moving away from things that no longer suit you."

I found this remark so ironic and timely. It was quite warm for January in Kansas City, and I spent most of the afternoon hauling 20 boxes of junk I haven't looked at in four years to the trash. After I made the third trip to dumpster, I truly felt like a 100-pound weight was lifted from me. Here's what else I'm going to release in 2004:

1. The 60 extra pounds I've been carrying around for years to protect myself from being attractive to other men and keeping me from doing many of the things that I want to do. It no longer serves any purpose, and I'm going to get rid of it.

2. The intimidation I feel when I'm around my father (still, at age 46!)

3. The regret I have for poor decisions I made in the past.

4. The fear and discomfort I feel around strangers that limits my social life.

5. The fear of success and self-sabotage that keeps me from working on my creative writing projects. (The treatment and early draft of a screenplay I wrote was warmly received and reviewed over a year ago by a successful Hollywood screenwriter. His enthusiasm, oddly, stymied any additional work on the project!)

I think that's good enough for now. I'm going to work on envisioning placing these five things in boxes and hauling them to the trash. I may even write them out on slips of paper, put them in small boxes, and literally take the boxes to the trash!

Thank you for the inspiration. Happy New Year!

John
bulldogbeeff@kc.rr.com

Dear John,

Great resolutions! And I love that you're imagining taking boxes of each of your fears out to the trash. . . this is a powerful visualization. If you want to write them down on pieces of paper and burn them, that's good, too. The energy of fire transmutes stuff, and, since you're old enough to play with matches, I'd recommend a little fire ritual to help banish those fears and blockages!

Best,
Jennifer
astrologywriter@comcast.net

2004-01-03T20:55:00.000-05:00

A Reader's Tale of Mercury Retrograde in Action

Hello Jennifer,

Congrats on being published in Philly Weekly. I live in Philly but work in the burbs (what a concept!) and I don't get Philly Weekly every week, but I was glad to read your column.

Now here are two of my many Mercury in retrograde stories:

#1- My daughter came home from UPENN on 12/19/03, plugged her cordless phone into the outlet which controls the modem for my home computer, and an electrical surge occurred, knocking out connection to the net. I just got connected tonight by some Dell representative in India. Nice lady, but very hard to understand. Communications!

#2 - This is the big one! On 12/24/03, I tried to be timely by paying a bill electronically. The monthly amount was $110.00. I pressed a wrong button and the entire amount due of $1,329.16 was zapped from my checking account. Many conversations and trips to the bank later, this is still being resolved. Communications!

I also understand your observations about the effect of the solstice, too. A few things have happened around those Winter/Spring/Summer/Fall change-overs. I' m just glad to know someone else knows...

Well, Happy New Year! 2004 will be the year of the Monkey. How about that?

Good Wishes,

Cynthia
CYNBRADLEY@aol.com

Cynthia,

Thanks for sharing your stories. I'll be writing more about the upcoming Year of the Monkey at the time of the Chinese New Year, later this winter. Monkey years are when your social circle can change, and they are also years when there is a lot of coming and going. Expect travel, surprises, and lots of parties during a Monkey year!

Jennifer astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-12-22T12:03:00.000-05:00

The Winter Solstice is Upon Us

Happy solstice, everyone!

Okay, I realize that this is a contradiction of terms.

But happy solstice, anyway!

Today is the first day of winter, and the solstice occurred this morning. What does that mean for us, energy-wise?

Well, the solstice is one of four powerful times of year when spiritual energy is kicked up and processed in an intense way. Ever notice how big, dramatic things seem to happen to you each year around March 21st, June 21st, September 21st, and December 21st? If you keep a journal, you should be able to track these events. Things seem to become more melodramatic around these dates. Your car blows up while you are driving it on the highway. Your sister announces that she is marrying a Hell's Angel who just got out of prison. Your boyfriend tells you that he is eloping with a ferret wrangler named Juan, and he'd like to borrow your pink angora sweater (since you never wear it, anyway.)

Sigh. Just call these your soap opera days.

The dates of the equinoxes and solstices are turning points for us. Our energy wants to grow, expand, and push ahead. So we tend to manifest dramas like romantic breakups, job changes, emotional outbursts, and the like.

During the winter solstice, there is a darkening of the spiritual light on this planet. On an instinctive level, we all feel this. Somehow, we know that we should just pull within, watch Sex and the City episodes on DVD, and hibernate until spring.

But in this modern society, we've moved away from our agrarian (farming) roots. We no longer follow the cues that nature is giving us, and we work against the forces of nature instead of flowing with them. This is why so many people are worn out, stressed, and coming down with colds or flu right now. How many times did you hear this in a store this holiday season? "Get outta my way! I've gotta find Neopets and Hokey Pokey Elmos for my kids. Merry #$% Christmas!"

Instead of slowing down when the winter solstice approaches, we run around frantically buying gifts and orchestrating get-togethers, forcing ourselves to celebrate the holidays. Have you noticed how rarely, if ever, you are actually in the mood to do this? It seems unnatural somehow, as if you are going against the grain. There's a reason for that. Such celebrations would be better left until spring.

At the time of the spring equinox, much greater joy is available on a spiritual level, and we instinctively feel better, lighter, and more social. We're ready to seek out new boyfriends or compose fresh Personals ads in search of babes: "Sexy and sinewy guy seeks extremely flexible playmate to form mutual admiration society. Some gymnastics training preferred."

But at the winter solstice, we all just want to curl up in our hidey hole and settle down for a nice nap. It's a time to look within ourselves and see what we need to let go of, a time to be quiet, reflective, and still. "I wonder why I decided that my hair would look better green? That was an interesting choice. Hmm."

The winter solstice is a great time to figure out what we need to release from our lives. Magicians and shamans use this time of year to perform banishing rituals, where cords are broken that connect them to unhealthy relationships, or bad habits or unhealthy attitudes are consciously released. This is the perfect time to let go of stuff that you have outgrown.

We can take a cue from those who are still attuned to the true energy of this time. Make a list of what you want to release from your life, and meditate, invoke your guides and angels, or pray on these things. You'll find that some surprising insights will come to you, and you'll feel clearer about moving away from things that no longer suit you.

Here is part of my list. This is what I'm ready to release:

1) That extra ten pounds that has taken up residence in my hip area. Time to banish it! Be gone, you pounds, you! (I realize that going to the gym might help here.)

2) My beliefs around how my career should progress. What if the Universe really wants me to run an ice cream stand or become a hot dog vendor at football games? I don't want to stand in my own way if Destiny is pulling me in a different direction. I resolve to go with the natural flow.

3) My anger at the forces of censorship in the media. Why is Michael Jackson thrown at us every five minutes, but the ten Saddam Hussein doubles that were reported on years ago by the German media never make it to prime time news? Do our news media and our government really believe that we are a bunch of mindless sheep? Baaa humbug on that, I say. But getting too angry just gives you frown lines. I resolve to keep a balance between righteous indignation and bitterness. Sometimes, it's tough.

This is my starter list. I'm sure more will be added.

What's on your list? (And I don't mean your wish list for Santa!)

Write me: astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-12-18T16:32:00.000-05:00

Harrison Ford and Calista Prediction

I just wanted to go on the record with something. I have a lot of dreams featuring celebrities, and very often, they end up being predictions about things that later happen.

The other night, I had a vivid dream in which Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart were getting married. They've been together for a while, and she has an adopted child of her own, so the three of them are probably already a pretty cozy unit. But I don't recall hearing anything in the news about their engagement.

Sometimes, I'm ahead of the E! Channel with this stuff. So I just wanted to go on the record about it.

A few weeks back, Tony Danza showed up in a dream, shaking my hand and smiling. I didn't know it, but it turned out that he had just premiered a T.V. talk show.

I'll try to take more notes on things that I psychically glimpse. We can see if I'm right about any of them.

Do YOU have dreams about celebs that later come true?

Write me: astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-12-18T16:19:00.000-05:00

Some Effects of Mercury Retrograde

Okay, I'm an astrologer. So I KNOW about Mercury retrograde. For years, I've witnessed how people always tend to speed up and force things at these times, when it's actually a much better use of their energy to move slowly and to be more cautious.

Even so, I'm manifesting Mercury retrograde's effects pretty well so far. I had a fender bender with myself today. I pulled in too tightly as I maneuvered up to a gas pump, giving my side door a big, nasty dent. It will require work at the body shop. The owner of the gas station witnessed my stupid door ding and said, "Well, that's a heckuva Christmas present to give to yourself." He's right.

Fortunately, collision insurance will cover most of the repair. But the joke's on me. Here I was being a good girl, trying to follow my own advice. I pulled in close to the gas pump to avoid the crazy drivers in the lot who were moving around erratically. But it turns out that I'm the mad driver, not anybody else!

People are always asking me what kinds of things happen during Mercury retrograde. Traffic accidents are one of them. Incidents of extreme stupidity are another. I combined both in one blow.

Some other Mercury retrograde effects that have happened so far this week:

A staged re-enactment of the Wright Brothers' famous Kitty Hawk flight fizzled. Did you hear about this in the news? I don't have the details in front of me, but I believe that their equipment failed. (Dudes, if you'd have consulted your astrologer ahead of time, you wouldn't have scheduled it for this week.)

Animals are appearing where they don't belong. A horse got loose here on the farm and decided to go for a stroll outside his fenced in area. And a cute little white goat has been roaming around the neighborhood, having broken loose from wherever he normally lives. We see him on the back road here, but he has proven too elusive to catch. Now he hangs out with the local deer and seems to be enjoying himself quite nicely. We don't know who he belongs to.

Telemarketers are springing up like weeds. We're getting a zillion phone calls a day. Some of this can obviously be explained by the holiday season and the increased need to sell, sell, sell. But I'm willing to bet that the intense degree of traffic can be attributed to Mercury retrograde, too, raising the rate of annoying telephone experiences.

When my agent and I were speaking on the phone yesterday, her phone (or mine) suddenly cut out in this mysterious way. We're not sure why that happened. Neither of us was on a cell phone.

More under the heading of animals showing up where they don't belong . . . a large male tabby cat has suddenly decided that our house is his house. He's sneaking in the cat doors at night and having brawls with our other males. Yes, the nights have been cold. But it's interesting how we've never seen him around before, and now, during Mercury retrograde, there is all of this disruption happening with our animal "chi." (He's a cute fuzzy guy. We'll probably end up adding him to our feline family if he can develop some house manners.)

So - what weird stuff involving communication, travel, and the locations of things/animals/people have YOU been experiencing?

Tell me at: astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-12-15T18:54:00.000-05:00

Here We Go Again . . . Another Mercury Retrograde

From Wednesday, December 17 through Friday, January 9, communication planet Mercury is in retrograde again. I know, the very word "retrograde" sounds pretty gloomy. The world isn't about to end (at least, I don't think so.) The flu virus won't kill off 1 million people, as it did during World War One. (That's the real reason that the war ended. No soldiers were left to go fighting!) But things could be a little flighty, weird, or offbeat during this period.

Mercury moves "backwards" in the sky, interrupting the easy flow of energy in our daily lives. This is the time when voice mails will pile up in your message service. Telemarketers will spawn like a vicious disease, pouncing on your poor phone line (if you haven't yet signed up for the Do Not Call service.) Invitations to check out photos of underage girls doing very naughty things will pile up in your email "in" box. Various diplomats from African nations will send you pleas to help them with an urgent money transfer.

Just take a deep breath. This onslaught will pass.

On a personal level, holiday shopping (if you haven't already finished it) could seem more chaotic than usual. You're usually a calm, pleasant type of shopper. Now you're arm-wrestling overfed matrons for a Hokey Pokey Elmo doll or haggling with shopkeepers over your discount at Barnes and Noble. "I have a coupon here for 20 percent off of 10 percent off of 20 percent off! Whaddya mean, the bloody book's not free?"

Again, just take a deep breath. This, too, shall pass.

It's best to bring your attention to your intimate relationships and loved ones. Aim for some quality conversations instead of your usual distracted grunts of "Pass me the remote." Share your cherished hopes and dreams for 2004 with people who really care about you.

Forget those orgies of money-spending and that gift-purchasing mania. Focus on who is in front of you. Give thanks that he or she is in your life, and don't sweat the small stuff. Head into the New Year with a sense of gratitude for all that you have, and avoid obsessing about what you don't have.

I guarantee you that this approach will be the key to having a sane and healthy holiday season. Enjoy!

Email me: astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-12-02T16:10:00.000-05:00

Welcome Philadelphia Weekly Readers!

I'm extending a big cosmic handshake to fans of the Philadelphia Weekly, a super arts weekly with, I'm told, over 400,000 readers. 400 or 400,000, it doesn't matter to me. I'm just happy that you're on board.

It might take you a little while to get used to the sassy style of my Cosmic Butt Kick column. At this point, you're probably going, "Who the hell is this Jennifer Shepherd chick, anyway? And how did she get a column in the Weekly? Is she the editor's girlfriend or something? Did she pay them a lot of money so they'd run her drivel?"

For answers to these questions and more, please read on.

For those of you who don’t know me, I have a background as a psychic counselor. I used to make frequent appearances on FM radio stations across the US, so you may have heard me at some point doing readings and fending off venomous, slathering deejays on the air (although many of them were nice.) I was on WPST 97.5 FM quite a lot over the years, although I've taken a break from the heavy radio appearances of late to focus on other things -- mainly my writing career and my seven overly demanding cats. (Yes, I'm one of those crazy cat people. Beware.)

You may also have seen me on TV shows like Sightings or Real Scary Stories, where I offered my insights as a professional ghostbuster. (“Yup, looks like ya gots yerself a ghostie there.”)

I did psychic readings for ten years, but now I write full-time and teach on metaphysical subjects. I’ve written for tons of websites, mostly astrology stuff, and I’ve been a columnist for magazines like Boy Crazy, Total Fitness, Spa, and Joey.

These days I am focusing on something that has become more and more important to me over the years. I have always functioned as sort of a “Dear Abby” of the New Age. Since I was a little girl, people have always been asking me questions like, “How do I clear out a ghost?” “Are angels real?” and “What’s the best way to meditate?”

At this point, I’ve worked with thousands of people, fielding their questions and trying to inspire them with information that is user-friendly, fun, and real. I’m hoping to pull together those questions in one place so that more people can make use of the ideas I present. This blog is a starting point.

I invite you to send me your own questions about “New Age” and spiritual subjects, and I might answer them here on this blog. I am also planning to put a book together at some point that will respond to these subjects. Please note that, if you send me something, I reserve the right to post it here or publish it, and I also reserve the right to edit it -- just for grammar and readability, not for content. (That’s the Virgo editor in me speaking. You’ll have to put up with her from time to time.) I can post it with your contact info or do it anonymously, whichever you might prefer.

Some of the questions that I will be responding to run along the lines of:

What is the meaning of our dreams? If I suddenly find myself at work in a dream, and I’m completely naked, does this mean that an office orgy is in the offing? (And, more importantly, will I have enough time to work out at the gym before attending this orgy?)

Are psychic abilities really all that common, or are they only accessible to scary mediums like the (frequently face-lifted) Sylvia Browne or the all-too-perky John Edwards? And do I really need to learn how to talk to the dead, anyway? I mean, I detested my smelly, mustachioed Aunt Bertha while she was alive. Do I really want her bitching at me from beyond the grave?

If love and light are the keys to enlightenment, why are so many White Lighters depressed and on medication? Why are so many of them single or members of cultish movements? Why are so many of them unable to take care of themselves, in one form or another? Given what they’re experiencing, enlightenment seems over-rated!

Holistic health techniques might work, but they are very weird-sounding to someone who doesn’t understand them. Why would I want to lie down naked on a table and have some strange man (or woman) rub me all over? What are the benefits of that? Isn’t that what a spouse is for?

Why do astrology columns seem so bogus? Are all of those clichés about the signs accurate? What if I’m a sloppy Virgo or a Scorpio who isn’t oversexed – does that make me a mutant?

Is the world of Harry Potter simply an analogy for occult initiation? What’s occult initiation? Can people really cast spells? Should people cast spells? Can I turn my ex-boyfriend into a slug? (Oh, wait, he was already one in the first place.)

Please send me your funky questions and comments. I’ll answer some by email, and others might show up in this blog.

More soon. Email me:
astrologywriter@comcast.net

PS: And no, I'm not the editor's girlfriend.

2003-11-21T18:10:00.000-05:00

Some Secrets Nobody Will Tell You About Astrology

I thought it would be fun to share some little-known facts about astrologers here, for the benefit of readers who think that a) astrologers are demonic pond scum aligned with the devil; b) astrologers are full of horse doo-doo; and/or c) astrologers are in about the same league as lawyers, doctors, and telemarketers - namely, that they should be avoided if at all possible.

(By the way, all three of the above are often right. I'm not going to defend colleagues of mine who are, in fact, actively collaborating with dark occult forces, bad at what they do, and/or generally bent on squeezing money out of their clients. Personally, I think that all of these types should be rounded up and forced to watch Britney Spears videos until their eyes bleed.)

A few quick facts:

1) Anybody can say that he is an astrologer. Your half-blind, arthritic, diaper-wearing bulldog could set up shop as an astrologer, and nobody would be able to prove that he wasn’t one.

2) There are certification programs for astrologers. The best-known (and most-respected) is offered through an organization known as the Federation of Astrologers, which has chapters in almost every country. Members are required to pass tests on their astrology know-how, mostly on technical stuff like understanding the angular relationships of the planets (sextiles, conjunctions, and so forth) and what each of the twelve houses mean in astrology (these are to be found in a person’s birth chart.)

3) Many really bad, inept, and creepy astrologers are part of this organization.

4) I’m not in it. As Woody Allen said (who, in turn, was quoting Groucho Marx,) “I wouldn’t join any organization that would have me as a member.” Or something like that. I’ve never been much for clubs. They usually involve boring requirements, such as volunteering to bake tuna casseroles for the next monthly meeting or holding bake sales that involve hideous shoofly pies. I don’t like this stuff.

5) There are a lot of really great astrologers in the Federation. Many of them are listed at a site called www.stariq.com. Check it out. There are numerous cool astrology updates there on the happenings of the planets, too, written by a pool of experienced astrologers.

I always think that The Federation of Astrologers sounds a lot like The Justice League of America. Remember that group of comic book superheroes? I’ll answer one free question for you about your work goings-on, relationship melodramas, or another topic if you can send me a list of all of the comic book superheroes who were in that group, as long as you agree to let me post the response here. (Warning: humor and snottiness may be involved on my part.)

Just send me your name (or alias,) your time and date of birth, your question, and the list of superheroes. The first person who sends me all of this will get a shortie astrology forecast in a future post here.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-11-14T15:05:00.000-05:00

Letter from a Reader

This just in from a reader:

Why is the Libra horoscope so snotty?

Name Withheld

Dear Name Withheld,

I'm not sure if you were asking why this week's Libran horoscope is "snotty" or if you meant to cast aspersions on all of my Libran horoscopes, calling all of them "snotty."

Either way, it doesn't really matter.

My weekly syndicated column is called "The Cosmic Butt Kick." The title itself should function as a "buyer beware." Namely, if you're not ready to take a lickin', don't be a-readin.'

This week's Libran horoscope reads:

Libra: (Sept. 23-Oct. 23): The Hooters restaurant chain has created a hip-hop group called UC3. Scantily clad server to scantily clad singer - it's a natural progression. And you weren't surprised that Madonna seduces Britney in Brit's new video, "Me Against the Music." As lusty Venus has been teaching you, certain things are inevitable. In your relationship, you're getting used to the melodrama. All you need at this point is to bare your midriff and jiggle.

In this horoscope, I attempted to make a comparison between certain inevitable pop cultural trends (i.e., Hooters creating its own girl group, Madonna and Britney tarting it up together) and some recent dramatic ups and downs in Libra's personal life. In stating "All you need at this point is to bare your midriff and jiggle," I was pointing out that it's best to join in with the madness, have fun with it, make the most of it.

This might not have been perfectly clear, but that's what I was going for.

It's also possible you saw one of the shortened or edited versions of my horoscopes, and something may have gotten lost in the translation. Some places publish a longer version, others publish a shorter one, and some places publish a very very short version, with frequent edits of my material. I don't have any control over this.

But if it's my tone you're objecting to, and you think it's "snotty," then, cool!

Here's to more snot! Long live the snot!

I don’t write horoscopes for your grandmother. I don't hold hands, kiss up, or try to make friends when I write my horoscopes. These are no-holds-barred riffs on how our lives are often ludicrous, just like many of our favorite pop stars, politicians, and public figures can be ludicrous.

I am proud to take equal pot shots at each of the signs. I don't single out Librans in particular. Everybody receives his own Butt Kick, sooner or later.

And, with over 2.2 million readers, The Cosmic Butt Kick is starting to make its mark.

(If that boo-boo smarts too much, you might want to put some Bactine on it.)

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-11-07T15:39:00.000-05:00

Phoenix Dream

I want to share a dream that I had about two weeks ago. In it, I looked up in the trees outside my house and noticed that a flock of unusual birds had suddenly swept into the area, landing up high in the trees. As I watched them, I noticed that they were odd, beautiful things with fluffy white feathers. They seemed like a rare and ornate species, unlike anything I'd ever seen before.

As I stood there, trying to figure out what they were, I suddenly saw all of these little fireballs and flashes of fire coming down from the trees. This was startling but not scary, necessarily. It was more like finding yourself in the middle of a firecracker show, with a pyrotechnics display showering down sparks all around you.

I felt a sense of exhilaration and anticipation, as if something important was going on.

As I continued to watch, I noticed that something strange was happening to the birds. It was like they were being consumed in their own flame, their bodies disappearing in flashes of fire. This didn't seem gruesome or sad. It was more amazing than anything else.

A kind-looking, elderly man, who reminded me a bit of the white wizard Dumbledore in Harry Potter, was standing off to the side watching the proceedings. I went over to him to ask him what was going on. He was smiling, as if what was happening was a good thing.

I asked him, "Is the magical realm colliding with this one?"

And he said, "No. The material realm is speeding up to catch the magical realm."

The point being that there was apparently some shift of dimensions going on, with the mundane world intersecting more with the magical plane.

The dream ended with the two of us standing there amidst the sparks and the fireballs, smiles on our faces.

A lot of people have been saying that the upcoming alignment of planets in the Star of David formation on the 8th will cause just such an event, a gateway to higher levels of consciousness opening up on the planet. (See more on that in blog entry below.) The effects will supposedly be strongest from Saturday the 8th at 8:20 p.m., when the alignment and a lunar eclipse happen, through the 11th. But many metaphysical people are also talking about the energy being felt for the rest of the month, up until the solar eclipse at 5:50 p.m. on Sunday the 23rd.

To be honest, I didn't even know about this particular alignment of six planets when I had this dream about the mystical birds. (It's funny, I write a weekly astrology column, but I hadn't noticed this alignment coming up. Probably because it's an alignment of five planets plus the comet, Chiron, functioning here as a six planet, and I tend to ignore Chiron stuff. There's a lot of debate in the astrological community about the importance of Chiron. Let's just say that the jury is still out on that one.)

It's also interesting that I dreamt of all of that fire coming down, and, a few days later, the California fires happened. My dreams often clue me in about events on the world scene in a sly way like this. It's frustrating, because I can't act on the dreams in a way that would help anyone. They seem to be more like CNN, only a few days in advance.

When I woke up, I realized that the birds in the dream might have been phoenixes, those mythical birds known to consume themselves in flame, only to be reborn from their own ashes. In metaphysical circles, the phoenix is considered a harbinger of powerful, life-transforming, events.

In this case, I'd venture a guess and say that the dream was about higher dimensions being opened up, so that the average person, who might not consider himself particularly spiritual or into any of "that stuff," can more readily access feelings of joy, mystical awareness, and connection with the loving power of God/Goddess/The Big Cheese/whatever.

I'd say it's all GOOD. Whatever is going on, chances are that we will be growing and expanding our awareness, and, hey, we need it.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-11-02T17:30:00.000-05:00

The End of the World as We Know It?

To steal a line from REM, many New Age types are breathlessly awaiting the alignment of six planets (well, five planets and the comet, Chiron) in a six-pointed Star of David formation that will be occurring November 8th, along with a full moon and a lunar eclipse. The effects of this formation are predicted to be strongest from the 8th through the 11th.

Now, I'm advising my readers not to get their knickers in a twist about this. (Unless you enjoy cosmic wedgies.) There's no need to panic. This will NOT be the end of the world.

Neither, in my opinion, should you cavort about joyfully, awaiting the Mother Ship to beam you up and transport you to a utopian reality. Sorry. "Believers" are NOT going to be ascending to a different dimension. So put your spacesuit away.

I'm a bit jaded about these so-called "sacred geometrical patterns" when they form in the sky, probably because I've lived through enough of them to see that the hard-core New Agers ALWAYS use these things as an "escape hatch," hoping that this particular alignment will help them to finally a) meet their space brothers and sisters b) escape from the harsher realities of life in the material realm and/or c) become annointed as special "royalty," appointed as official guardians of the Earth. "I have been channeling the Great Zoosh for fifteen years, and he has now confirmed that I am to become head of the Council of Earthkeepers," yada yada yada.

And yes, there is a man out in Arizona who channels Zoosh. (Whoever he is. Really, just a discarnate entity messing with the guy's head, as are all of the other channeled beings.)

I have found that, if you want to talk to God, the angels, Jesus, or any other divine types, you do what you do when you want to call up your best buddy. You call them up and engage in dialogue. No channeling or out of body experience required. No entity should be taking over your vocal chords or controlling your body. If you allow this to happen, know that you're not likely to be dialing up one of the "good guys."

Now, back to this six-pointed star pattern. You can read one person's esoteric explanation for what is about to take place here:

http://www.1one1.ca/gcl/concord/article.html

There are also lots of other New Age sites talking about it.

I advise you to approach their predictions like you would a margarita or a bag of pretzels: with more than a grain of salt.

In spring of 2000, these same types were ecstatic because of a unique alignment of planets in the sign of Taurus, the likes of which hadn't been observed on Earth for thousands of years. Surely, this must mark the beginning of a new age of enlightenment ? Either that, or our total annihilation was imminent. (It always has to be one or the other with these characters....the end of the world or the dawning of a New Age. Why can't we have something in between, like a modest improvement in the state of world affairs, a proliferation of politeness, and, say, a decent tax cut or something? Why must it always be this extreme stuff?)

Believing in extremes means you are navigating a foot path of dangerous thoughts. It consumes emotional and mental energy, putting you in a constant state of anxious anticipation. Meanwhile, little tasks like paying the bills, being a responsible citizen, and allowing yourself to remain emotionally connected to loved ones can be abandoned. Who has time to walk the dog when the end of the world is coming? Why even show up for work in the morning, if the spaceships/the terrorists/the weather catastrophes are due to arrive?

If I sound harsh, it's for good reason. I've deprogrammed enough cult members to have witnessed, first-hand, how people too often hand away their spiritual sovereignty for a quick fix. If the world's ending, then you don't have to do anything. Just sit back and enjoy the conflagration.

Myself, I can tell you that this configuration of planets may well cause heightened feelings of emotional distress -- or joy, depending on how balanced your nervous system is. If you haven't detoxed for a while, you might need a good round of sweaty panic to release some ick from your body. However, a trip to the gym would be less painful than an all-out panic attack. To stay ahead of the game, get sweating, in one form or another!

The recent solar flares are also stirring people up, increasing those feelings of restlessness that we can all fall victim to. Why, oh why, won't Johnny ask me to the prom/that company hire me/those ten pounds fall of my butt, where they stubbornly took up residence during the last presidential election?

I encourage you to take a cue from Arthur Dent, one of the characters in Douglas Adams' brilliant science fiction series, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In the series, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was a huge collection of data that had been assembled, covering all of the planets in creation, their inhabitants, and where to find a killer cocktail. This information was packaged in a small, hand-held device that had a nice, red button on the front labeled: Don't Panic.

(It was red, wasn't it? Correct me if I've got it wrong, Hitchhiker fans.)

Anyhoo, from November 8th through the 11th, you may well be releasing some pent-up fears, passions, or frustrations, but this needn't be a bad thing. Look at this as a unique opportunity to press your spiritual "Re-set" button, do a system purge, and make a fresh start.

And, most importantly, Don't Panic.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-10-31T15:11:00.000-05:00

Letter From a Ghost?

This just in from a reader (and yes, I really received this letter!)

Hi Cosmic Jennifer,

I really like your blog. Um . . . I have a question.

Okay.

I was wondering if maybe you could help me clear up a tiny concern that I have? Just a teensy, weensy little worrylet? See, I'm kind of wondering whether I might actually be a ghost.

Here's what makes me nervous:

1) I am frequently invisible, especially to the man I love.

2) I am frequently inaudible, ditto.

3) I seem to spend lots of time drifting vaguely around, feeling lots of grief, remorse, anguish, woe, & a sense of unfinished business.

4) I'm extremely dramatic, but also pathetically ineffectual. I can startle, amaze, & impress, but only for the first five minutes or so of a relationship. After that, see (1) and (2).

5) I'm pretty sure I can walk through walls. Well, not actually *through* them - not yet. But I walked *into* one really vigorously yesterday, and I'm convinced it's only a matter of time before I make it through. Gotta watch out for my nose next time, though.

So, whaddya think? Am I actually here, or not? How can I tell? Is there a test? What should I do if someone tries to exorcise me? And what about seances?!

Respectfully Yours,

Eglantine Q. Fantod

Dear Eglantine,

Hmm. . . your name seems oddly familiar. Edward Gorey didn't depict you in one of his lovely books, did he? Hmm.

It sounds like ya gots yerself a dilemma. No matter how much you express yourself, others around you don't seem to notice that you're alive. Given that that is the case, it only stands to reason that you might begin to wonder if you are a ghost.

I experience this sensation myself, from time to time, especially when I submit proposals to editors and hear nothing in response. I would think that, if I wasn't a ghost, I'd at least hear something along the lines of:

a) You suck.
b) You don't suck, but go away, anyway.
c) You don't suck, and we'd like to hire you as a fearless scribe/office prankster/toilet cleaner. (Or all of the above.)

I will say one thing, Eglantine. You don't have to worry about people trying to exorcise you, because not many people know how to do it. I'm hoping to teach people more about ghosts, angels, and entities of the creepy crawlie type on my future website and in my books.

Until then, watch out for people who burn frankincense or sage in your direction, pray a lot on your behalf, and send their spiritual guides and angels chasing after you. If any of these things occur, then, my dear girl, you will probably be making your exit from this plane pretty soon.

That's a good thing for a real spook, though. Real ghosts are confused spirits who universally don't realize that they have passed away, and their intense emotional energy magnetizes them temporarily to this physical plane, where they really don't belong anymore.

I'll be writing more about such matters in future posts. Meanwhile, feel free to share your own ghost stories with me, readers. I'll post them here with your permission.

Happy Halloween/Samhain!

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-10-28T20:37:00.000-05:00

The Emu Has Landed!

Wiley Emu Finally Caught

UPPER TOWNSHIP, NJ-October 22, 2003 — An emu that wandered the Pinelands of western Atlantic County for months has now found a home at a farm in Woodbine. David Milligan originally wanted to make money by raising the flightless, ostrich-like Australian birds, starting an emu ranch in 1996. But when the health craze for emu meat turned out to be a bust, Milligan found himself eating the birds himself, even though he really doesn't like the meat, which he said tastes like a cross between beef and liver. "That's all I eat," Milligan told The Press of Atlantic City. "No beef, no chicken."

Milligan's story isn't unusual among South Jersey farmers, some of whom have resorted to releasing the birds, which eat expensive feed and bring little in return. John Hill, who runs Tri-County Animal Rescue, estimates that there are at least a dozen feral emus on the loose in the green Pinelands of southern New Jersey. The young are unable to survive cold winters, but the adults do perfectly well. "They wind up in somebody's back yard," Hill said. "It's like something that escaped from Jurassic Park."

The new bird made news last week when it foiled an attempted capture by Hamilton Township police. Animal control workers from Tri-County Animal Rescue finally cornered the bird Friday morning in a yard in Upper Township, and a veterinarian sedated it with a tranquilizer dart.
-------(End Story)

My two questions in response to this story:

1)So how many poor young emus are out on the loose this winter, unable to fend for themselves?

2) Where did they take the hapless emu that they did catch, mentioned here in the article?

Let's hope he didn't end up on Farmer Milligan's dinner plate. Shudder.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-10-20T16:02:00.000-04:00

Astrology Update for Late October/November

On Thursday, the 23rd, the Sun moves into the sign of Scorpio, and the following day, Mercury joins forces with it in this sign. And on Saturday, Saturn moves into retrograde, where it will hang until early March.

What do all of these cosmic shenanigans mean for you?

Well, if you're a Scorpio, you'll be sitting pretty. You'll have more stamina than the Energizer bunny and more cock-eyed (or half-cocked?) optimism than Arnold starting his new term as Governor of California. The good stuff also applies to your fellow Water signs, Cancer and Pisces, who will experience a similar dose of perkiness. (Just don't register for the next Miss America pageant. It should be illegal to be THAT perky.)

Taurus, I'm afraid I have bad news for you. As the planets line up opposite your sign over the next few weeks, you could be questioning that latest Botox injection or wondering if it was wise to elope with a snake-handler named Enriqué. You'll miss having access to a full range of facial expressions or worry that Enriqué might be too wild to bring home to your mother. Impulsive decisions that you made over the past year could come back to haunt you. As Saturn moves into retrograde, you'll have ample time to rethink those life strategies and come up with a better recipe for success. (In short: lose the mullet.) Don't panic, though. Success planet Jupiter will still look favorably on you (and Virgos and Capricorns) for another nine months, counter-acting any major doom.

We'll all feel a bit more introspective, thanks to solemn Saturn going retrograde. Why, exactly, did we buy that new Mini-Cooper we couldn't afford/invest in a house the size of Milwaukee/purchase so many antique doorknobs on Ebay? Saturn is a planet that rules heavy life issues like finances and responsibility, so if you've been avoiding your homework, your lazy butt could receive a painful but necessary reality check. Basically, it's time to DEAL. If you've made a mess of something, pick up a sponge and mop things up.

Hopefully, the sponge store won't run out of supplies.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

PS. No report yet on that emu. Where did the birdie go?

2003-10-16T17:43:00.000-04:00

Lions and Tigers and Emus, Oh My!

There's an emu on the loose in our area, and I'm wondering if I should be worried.

http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/7016630.htm

I haven't had any dreams lately featuring tall, flightless ostrich-like birds, so there was no psychic warning about this one. Supposedly, the creature is a good eight feet tall.

How's the wildlife behaving where you are? :)

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-10-14T14:20:00.000-04:00

Lions, and Tigers, and Bears, Oh My!

About two weeks ago, I was waking up from a dream when, with my inner eye, I saw a beautiful image of a white tiger. The animal had clear blue eyes and gorgeous white fur. I just saw the animal's head and shoulders. It was as if it was sitting right in front of me. As fast as this flash of a vision appeared, it was gone, and I woke up.

Usually, those images that come to me during that half-awake/half-asleep period turn out to be psychic or precognitive in some way. They don't happen that often, so, when they do, I try to take note of them. Sometimes, these images end up revealing something about my own life. Other times, they tend to coincide with events that turn up later in the news.

That particular morning, I was just thinking that the vision had something to do with one of our seven cats, a friendly, striped fellow whose name is Tiger. I thought that my brain was telling me to pay attention to stuff with that particular cat.

Sometimes my dreams give me warnings about the pusscats, like last winter, when I dreamed of our white cat, Earl, having a wound in his cheek. The dream was so clear that I looked up directions on how to get to the nearest emergency animal clinic, just in case. Sure enough, a few days later, Earl showed up with a gaping bite wound on his cheek, in the exact same spot I had seen in the dream. He probably ran into a possum or racoon at the food bowl in the barn. We took him to the 24 hour clinic I had already looked up. Earl healed up nicely, thank goodness. He's a tough, burly cat, a manly 16 pounder.

Well, after two weeks of me wondering what's going to happen to our Tiger, he still hasn't had any remarkable adventures. Just the usual helpings of rubs, snuggles, and kitty treats. Well, maybe he's been sniffing the other cats' butts a little more than usual, but basically, things are pretty normal in Tigerland. (Tiger is the official butt sniffer of the house. He has taken on this role all by himself, on his own initiative. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. You'd have to ask the other cats.)

But things haven't been dull in Tigerland in a national sense, at all! Shortly after this dream vision, poor Roy Horn of Seigfried and Roy fame was bitten by Mantacore, the white tiger that was working with him in his Vegas show. I never saw their show, but I did get to see one of their white tigers backstage once. I'll never forget it. There was a habitat enclosed with glass for the white tigers at the casino, where tigers who weren't going to be performing that day would often rest and sleep. You could barely see this huge white creature with stunning markings up on his little ledge above the rocks where he was taking a nap. I was instantly in love. (Quite honestly, I don't think I've ever gotten over it, and that was some six years ago. I could probably use some therapy.)

I can't imagine seeing one of these in action, because they are so big. It must take a very brave person, and one who is highly attuned to cats, to be able to work with them in a show. By all reports, Roy is very gifted with animals, and he has never had troubles with one of his kitties before. I hope that Roy gets better soon. For all of the pot shots that people take at these two entertainers, they have brought white tigers to the public's attention, helping the public to become more aware of how precious these endangered animals are.

The same week, another tiger was in the news. This one was named Ming, and he was the tiger who was found living in a seven room apartment with a man in Harlem. The tiger was discovered, tranquilized, and dragged off to an animal park. (Poor kitty. He had been raised by this man, his only friend. He must be awfully sad about losing his buddy.) The man was also keeping a large alligator that they took away. I guess you need permits for wild animals like these, and the guy didn't have any. Oops!

So what were the odds of a white tiger being in the news within a few days of my having a dream about a white tiger? To my knowledge, it's not like I had been looking at pictures of white tigers or seeing them on TV or anything. I'd remember if I had, because I ADORE wild kitties and tend to salivate and pant over their images, uttering weird sounds like "OOWTHAKITTEEKITTEE!" So I would definitely know if I had seen one somewhere recently.

Anyway, tigers were on my psychic radar, and sure enough, tigers were soon featured in the media in a big way. It would seem that I not only have the E! Channel in my head, which alerts me to celebrity news, but I have CNN and Animal Planet, too. It's starting to get a little busy in there.

What are you dreaming about these days? Share your visions here.

Jennifer

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-10-13T20:26:00.000-04:00

Another Letter From a Reader

Dear Jennifer,

I don't want to waste your time, but I was excited to read about your dreams of celebrities. I stumbled upon your site for the first time today and I was startled to read what you had dreamed and written about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.

I started dabbling in psychic affairs a few years ago. One of my spur of the moment things to do was to make predictions about a celebrity ... just to see if it would work. On 7/15/01 I did this reading for Ben Affleck.

I wrote:

Something new happens in 2003. Looks to be a new love interest. Strong "L" name. She does have dark hair. This is time to get serious.

This person likes to have fun. She is a Cancer or is of a Cancerian temperament. She's good for you. Marriage is highly probable. Wait 2 years.

There will be multiple children - 2. Both girls. One will have reddish hair -- with a C name - Casey? Children happen in 7 years or months.

Dad retires early in August.

The last line says - Good Luck with Paramount's "Fierce".

***

This may sound fake or stupid ... but I thought that it was intriguing that Ben Affleck did get together with someone in 2003. Her last name is Lopez, she has dark hair and is a Cancer.

The last line was an extra confirmation for me. I tried to research it, and I found that Ben Affleck had only worked with Paramount once. It was in the project The Sum of All Fears. In its development stage the film was just called "Fears" ... which sounds like "Fierce." This became his very next movie to be released to the media, and it was being filmed after I wrote this stuff.

Again, I hope I didn't waste your time, but I do respect your celebrity precognitive dreams. It's an amazing (and entertaining) gift!

Good luck with your Hollywood prospects!

Thank you for your time.

John (Juanlw564@aol.com)

Dear John,

Thanks for sharing your celebrity predictions with me. You picked up on a lot of points in your reading on Ben and Jen - many "hits" on this one!

One thing that was off, though, is that Jen is a Leo, not a Cancer. Ben's a Leo, and the two of them together make one of those highly typical, predictable (for an astrologer like me!) couples. A disproportionate amount of celebrities are born under the sign of Leo, probably because this is a big attention-getting sign that is comfortable with the spotlight. Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky are another notorious Leo "couple" (Did they get their share of attention, or what! Talk about publicity hogs.)

Jennifer's birthday falls on July 23, 1970, while Ben's is August 15, 1972. I checked Jennifer's chart, and she doesn't really have Cancer showing up anywhere significant in her chart. (It's not her rising sign or moon sign, for instance.) Ben, on the other hand, has his Venus in Cancer, which makes him very protective of his sweethearts, as well as very generous. (Does this explain the huge rock he put on her finger?)

After looking at his chart, it would appear to make perfect sense that, out of his desire to "protect" his honey and to make his wedding day something special and intimate, that he would shy away from a huge, over-the-top, wedding. As the big day approached, the whole prospect of his wedding turning into a cartoon probably grew more and more ugly.

I'm glad, for their sake, that they opted out of the big day. Hopefully, a smaller, more intimate affair will take place soon, and they can make the day theirs (instead of having the National Enquirer spoil it for them.)

Their birth charts do look pretty compatible, and I think you're right - they're both going to want to become parents. I think they'd be a good mum and pop, protecting their kids from the limelight. (Much like fellow Leo Madonna does with her two kids.)

Thanks again for writing, and keep on doing readings. It sounds like you are developing some strong psychic talents. I always tell people that the best way to enhance your intuition is to keep regular journals of your impressions, hunches, and dreams. Over time, your radar will pick up on things that can be verified, only you have to keep track of what you predicted! It's so easy to forget.

Best,
Jennifer astrologywriter@comcast.net

PS: Since you said it was okay to include your email address, I am posting it here. I hope you don't get overwhelmed with letters from people expecting you to be Miss Cleo!

2003-10-01T07:02:00.000-04:00

La La La La La Libra!

Hey you Librans, how's your love life? Things should be looking up for you, now that Venus the lust planet is doing a slinky lambada through your sign. It moves out of Libra and into Scorpio on October 10th, leaving behind it a sensual trail of lacy underthings, globs of chocolate sauce, and streaks of whipped crème (or whatever else you and your honey have been indulging in over the past three and a half weeks.)

Communicator Mercury lines up with Venus in Libra from October 8th through October 10th, creating an intense window of intimacy for all sun signs. Maybe you'll finally confess to your elementary school sweetheart how much you're still hankerin' for him after all of these years. Perhaps you'll craft a saucy limerick for your secret flame and leave it taped to her car windshield. You might even write a sexy short story containing equal parts perspiration and exhilaration and email it to your honey of the moment.

You Air signs out there will be receiving double doses of happy vibes, what with Mercury and Venus working together in your sign for the first part of the month. So if you're a Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius, enjoy this magical time. Now, when you submit 100 resumes, you'll receive 100 responses. No longer will your best efforts disappear down an employment black hole, as they seemed to do for the past 11 months. Suddenly, you're the man (or the woman) of the hour, with people madly competing for a share of your attention.

Aries folks, hang tight. Libra is opposite your sign, which means that this could be a challenging time for you. Your love life resembles a bad episode of Ally McBeal, complete with creepy dancing baby or a drugged out Robert Downey, Jr. And finances? Oy! Let's just say that you are shouldering more than your share of the national debt at the moment.

But things will get better. Look for serious signs of improvement from November 23rd to December 22nd, when the sun tiptoes through Sagittarius. The friendly fire of this sign will warm you up and create a toasty glow throughout your whole life. Just hang tight 'til then, ya hear?

Email me if you want to vent about the stars (Aries) or confess some sexy secrets (Libra, Gemini, and Aquarius.)

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-09-25T19:36:00.000-04:00

Dreaming of Ben and Jen

Have you ever had a dream that came true? I do pretty frequently, and these premonitions are often about celebrities, oddly enough!

Stars make a lot of cameo appearances in my dreamspace. When somebody like Arnold Schwarzenegger shows up in a dream, trying to get my attention and impress me, I usually take note of it. Very specific dreams like this about a famous person usually turn out to mean something. This particular dream happened about a month before Arnold announced his run for Governor. It was like my subconscious mind suddenly picked up on the fact that he was about to assume a bigger role on the world's stage. Somehow, he registered on my mental radar. In the dream, he was shaking my hand and acting just like a would-be politician.

I occasionally dream about the Oscar winners before the yearly awards show. Helen Hunt and Jack Nicholson showed up the year that they won for Best Actor and Best Actress.

Sometimes I'll dream about sad celebrity stuff. I remember dreaming about Michael J. Fox making a big announcement about something, and about a week later, he went public about his fight with Parkinson's disease.

Also, remember when Paul McCartney's wife died of breast cancer? It wasn't announced for a week or so because the family tried to keep news of Linda's death hush-hush.

Well, sometime during that week (before most of us had heard that she had died,) I had a dream where I saw Paul standing with a shotgun. He was taking aim at some overwhelming foe, and he was exhausted, obviously losing the battle. I couldn't see what he was fighting in the vision.

It turned out, of course, that it was his wife's fight with cancer that he was exhausted from. And, unfortunately, the dream was accurate. It was a fight he (and she) couldn't win.

I also dreamed about Princess Diana about 12 hours before she died, only I was the one in the car. My dream had all of the details of what actually happened, but it all unfolded from my vantage point. I was in the car with three men, one of whom I was powerfully attracted to and happy to be with. We were speeding down a tunnel in a foreign city, and before the car hit the concrete pillar, I passed out of my body, and my life flashed before my eyes. Time was suspended in this really weird way, and I had time to reflect on every single important moment from my life. I was aware of the tremendous love I had for my family and my friends, and I felt bittersweet that I would never see them again. At the same time, I was accepting of my passage into another, light-filled dimension, and I wasn't in the least bit frightened.

I had no inkling that this was a dream about somebody else. I worried that it was about me, and that I had actually dreamt of my own impending death. I was scheduled to visit two male friends of mine in Washington, D.C., and I wondered if we would be driving through a tunnel together somewhere. I remember thinking that I wasn't going to let anybody drink alcohol so that we would be fully alert when driving.

By the time I reached my friends' house, news of Princess Diana's death was all over the radio and TV. I was sad, but I didn't immediately connect this event with my dream. When details emerged of how and when her accident had happened, a chill went through me.

I don't like predictive dreams like that. I wasn't in any position to save her, so why did I dream this dream?

I have come to think that some people have a powerful energy that connects with the masses on a subconscious level, and that, somehow, sometimes, sensitive people can tap into information about these influential folks. It's like we psychically download details about these people's lives, and this download is given to us via a dream.

But onto the dream I had last night.

Ben Affleck had invited me to join him and a small circle of friends for dinner somewhere. This seemed completely normal in the dream, as if the two of us were already buds. So, of course, I went along.

He was saying how he and Jennifer Lopez had broken up, how it hadn't worked out, etc. The weird thing was that, as he said it, he sounded completely fake, like he was over-acting. His tone was completely unconvincing.

The next thing I knew, Jennifer herself walked in, beaming, and it turns out that the two of them were going to be married in a small ceremony right there and then, with this small circle of friends looking on.

I thought this was cool.

Now, my question is, was I tapping into genuine information about the couple? They did announce a public breakup in an obvious and contrived way, and it doesn't seem very real to me.

If they did get married, bully for them, I say. Ignore the naysayers, do your own thang, and just be happy.

Who needs to watch the E! Network?

I've got it in my head already.

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-09-24T16:38:00.000-04:00

My Life as a Sitcom?

A few months ago, I had to fire my literary agent. Normally, this is not to be advised, as literary agents are like gold. They are the passport to publication if you aspire to be a book author. Editors pretty much refuse to read book manuscripts unless they are submitted through known “channels,” i.e., through literary agents.

I've fantasized about becoming a book author since I could first pick up a pencil (and immediately insert it into one nostril as a fashion statement - say, somewhere around the age of five or so.) So when an agent finally agreed to represent my work this past spring it was a Very Big Thing Indeed. I marked the date in my diary with a big blue star. (“Dear Diary, something special happened to me today. . .”)

My mom, a former English teacher, was beaming with pride when she heard the news. Maybe her daughter would finally take a stab at crafting The Greatest American Novel.

(I didn't tell her that it was more of an expose of my dating misadventures as a young psychic in my twenties, complete with sweaty, illicit, activities. Let her think I was working on the next Moby Dick.)

I was lucky enough to have interested a New York agent in my memoir-in-progress, and she was helping me spruce up the proposal and sample chapters for submission to editors.

There was just one problem. She was performing humor amputations on my writing. Every time she came across a whimsical comment, bawdy observation, or silly scene, she'd edit it out.

This wasn't so good, as this was supposed to be a humorous memoir.

I think the moment of truth was when she excised "booger" from the preface. The context that it appeared in was this:

"I'm not sure if the man feels the same way about me, even though he seems to be enjoying our flirtation. I am suddenly self-conscious about how I look. I want to appear gorgeous so that I can properly seduce him. Is my blue skirt wrinkled? Is that a coffee stain on my white blouse? Are there boogers hanging off of me anywhere?"

When she sent me her edits and I saw that the sentence with boogers in it had simply disappeared, I felt something sink inside of me – probably my spirits. Couldn’t she see that the boogers were artfully employed in this paragraph? Didn’t she understand how the heroine, as she tells her story, is a normal, human, chick, and that she really does worry about the presence of snot on her face, especially when going out on a date with a real cutie? This was essential to the story!

There were a lot of other amputations of text, too. She was just doing her job, trying to pare the book of any excess and reshape it into something she felt she could sell. Apparently, she thought that New York editors wouldn’t appreciate the booger reference.

This just made me fume. “Who are these New York editors, to think that they are above mentioning boogers in their books? Harrumph. Aren’t boogers universal as a theme? Don’t we all have them?”

After I saw the other changes she was making to my writing, I had a cold moment of realization. This book about my life was turning into one of those dry Lifetime TV Movies for Women instead of a sassy Sex and the City or Bridget Jones' Diary.

Big difference. I bet those women on Lifetime never had problems with nasal emissions, whereas the heroines of those other tales did.

So, I parted ways with my agent.

The story has a happy ending, as the universe immediately produced a nicer, funnier, better agent, who I have been working with since then. (Laurie, if you're reading this, you're the best!) So that part worked out okay.

But before my last agent and I finished things up, she said a TV producer had called and voiced interest in pitching my memoir to TV networks as a potential sitcom.

Hmm.

The producer is a bubbly, creative type with an impressive background. I like her a lot, and we've had some great chats on the phone about different ways that the memoir would lend itself to a comedic show.

Since then, she's been actively pitching it to networks and studios. And I am SO not waiting by the phone, hoping to hear good news.

(Yeah, right.)

When Hollywood calls, it's very exciting.

There is a narrow time window in TV land for sitcoms to be pitched - from August through October, basically.

So we'll have to see. I'll know pretty soon whether or not my life will be turned into a sitcom. Stranger things have happened.

I keep telling myself that I specialize in the improbable, so manifesting this should be a piece of cake.

After all, I cavort with ghosts, chat with spiritual guides of all makes and persuasions, and experience psychic premonitions on a regular basis. If I can handle the other weird stuff, then having a TV show created around my experiences shouldn't be that much of a stretch.

I just hope that my story doesn’t end up on Lifetime.

Wouldn’t that be ironic?

astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-09-22T11:52:00.000-04:00

Letter from a Reader

Dear Jennifer,

For years, I was an avid reader of stars, but it just got to the point when I thought "That doesn't sound like me" or "That really didn't come true." Maybe this is because my birthday, April the 19th, falls right on the cusp of Aries. But I do wonder sometimes if the writers of some horoscopes wake up of a morning and just write whatever they feel. I'd love for someone to get back to me and restore my belief in horoscopes.

Thanks for taking the time to read my email. All the best.

April G. in the UK

Hi April,

Yours is a common question, and I can totally identify with your concerns. Those daily newspaper horoscopes are too often off the mark. Sometimes it seems like the author was on acid (or suffering from an extreme bout of PMS) when she wrote them.

I actually read a horoscope recently that said:

"During housecleaning yesterday, you narrowly missed having an accident. Survival was based on adaptability. Taurus and Scorpio are involved."

This is hardly a piece of advice that is going to help you to enjoy your day. It's more likely to leave you quivering with fear, sucking your thumb in anticipation of the worst.

I don't ascribe to the "doom and gloom" school of astrology philosophy (as you can probably tell from my cheeky horoscopes.) I believe that life is a hilarious, fun, and ironic event, and that astrology forecasts should reflect this.

That said, my stuff definitely doesn't appeal to everyone.

It is, however, based on real astrology calculations. I always look at the larger, global events that everyone is going through, then I combine them with trends that are impacting upon each sign in a strong way. When you've been studying astrology as long as I have, you learn how to sift through this cosmic stew to find the interesting stuff. Each astrologer will have certain ways of looking at the stew, and our recipes are different. So you will find a lot of divergence between astrologer's styles.

In case you're wondering just how long I've been involved with astrology. . . Let's see. I'm 35 now, and back when I was ten years old, I was that annoying, geeky girl with glasses who went around asking everybody their sign, doing personality tests on each person. "Ew, you're a deceptive Scorpio, so you'll probably try to copy off my homework!" I guess that means I've had a sincere interest in the stuff for 25 years.

I think every astrologer (and writer, for that matter,) has their own slant. Some horoscopes seem really negative when you read them. Others are fluffy and pleasing, but offer little real advice.

Then there are mine, which are a weird amalgam of celebrity analogies and humorous digs. I try to poke fun at each sign equally, since we all experience similar melodramas.

You mention that you were born near the cusp of Aries. Have you ever had your birth chart done? The dates for each sign vary from year to year, so you might actually be a Taurus instead of an Aries. Send me your birthdate, and I'll be happy to look it up for you.

In the newspaper, the same dates are always listed, because there isn't room to list how it would really look:

1970 - Aries: March 22 - April 20
1971 - Aries: March 22 - April 20
1972 - Aries: March 21 - April 20
1973 - Aries: March 21 - April 20

And so on. I always feel sorry for cusp people, because unless they have their chart done, they can go around thinking that they are one sign, when they're really the other!

Cusp people are interesting, anyway. Even if you are born a day or two near the cusp, you'll tend to exhibit schizophrenic qualities. . . your personality will have aspects of both signs.

So you might find that you act a little like Taurus and a bit like Aries, making for an intriguing mix. You probably have a dose of the level-headed, sometimes cautious Taurus energy coupled with the pushier and more impulsive fire of Aries. You might switch back and forth between these modes depending on what environment you find yourself in. Your friends and family probably find you a little unpredictable because of this. Keep 'em guessing, I say! Never lose your sense of mystery.

Don't worry, there are a lot of astrological "mutts" running around out there. And each one of them is a fascinating specimen.

Thanks very much for writing. Hope this was helpful.

Jennifer
astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-09-18T14:28:00.000-04:00

Retrograde Sucks

I don’t know about you, but I've been feeling like my brain is covered with goo and my intellect has been evacuated to the Lesser Antilles for the last couple of weeks.

I'm going to blame this on Mercury being in retrograde, and I think you should, too.

Mercury goes retrograde about three times a year for a period of approximately three and a half weeks. Much as I scoff and try to downplay the idea that a chunk of rock in the sky could have any effect on me, I always find that Mercury retrograde periods are intense and fraught with odd events.

Mercury has been in retrograde since August 28th, and it will move out of retrograde (turning direct again) on September 20th.

During these times, there seem to be a larger percentage of celebrity deaths (John Ritter and Johnny Cash, unfortunately, having made their exodus during this Mercury retrograde.)

Weather snafus also are more common (Hurricanes Fabian and Isabel, anyone?)

Political movements and proposed laws tend to be interrupted (Hmm. Interesting that California is now trying to delay the recall vote.)

There are also a larger percentage of technology glitches than usual. (Also interesting that the reason why they are supposedly postponing the recall vote is because of the voting machines malfunctioning.)

These are some of the global effects. On a personal level, Mercury retrograde periods tend to feel a little heavy, and you'll find it harder to focus.

As a writer who crafts sentences for a living, I notice that during Mercury retrograde times I feel slightly retarded. Instead of effortlessly churning out pages of text, I mindlessly doodle my name in the margins of a page (practicing for a time when I'll have to sign lots of autographs, I guess.) I can do this all day, rather like the Rain Man.

This is not a good thing! Arrgh! Where did my brains go?

Mercury retrograde also creates little hassles and delays. Things just don't flow the way they are supposed to.

During this particular retrograde time, here are some things that I experienced:

Showing up at a comedy club to see my favorite comedian, who rarely makes appearances in my area…..and she called in sick, so I didn't get to see her, after all.

Downloading files that came out so garbled that it seemed like the writer was cursing me in an alien tongue. (@))#$*%& &*$^%(#*) *&$^&&^% (*&^@%>)

Receiving an inordinate amount of advertisements for penis enlargement products. (Thanks, I appreciate your concern, but for the moment, I appear to be doing okay in that department.)

Receiving hate mail from readers of my astrology column. It's weird. This always happens to me during Mercury retrograde, never at any other time. This particular piece of hate mail took issue with the fact that I am prone to relentlessly teasing Michael Jackson in my column. (But I don't just take pot shots at him. I attempt to be egalitarian in my distribution of celebrity abuse. Celine Dion, Ben and Jen, and Titney Spears also receive their share of hits.)

Losing my keys. I haven't lost my keys in at least ten years. I lost them during Mercury retrograde. This is starting to make me a little paranoid. What else is going to happen? Am I going to misplace something important, like my secret emergency stockpile of chocolate? (And no, I'm not going to tell you where it is.)

During Mercury retrograde, things will often need to be redone. No matter how well you try to do something the first time, you'll probably have to edit it, make revisions, or just start from scratch and do it over.

Case in point: my boyfriend went in to have a crown replaced, and they had made the crown the wrong size, so he'll have to go back to the dentist. (Lesson: never make dental appointments during Mercury retrograde, unless you're the type who enjoys repeatedly reclining in The Chair of Tooth Torture.)

Oh, and Earl, my huge, white, meatloaf of a cat, disappeared for almost a week, giving me major heart attacks. (Cat in retrograde!) He's an indoor/outdoor cat, but we spoil him something awful, so he generally comes around every day and spends a lot of time sleeping inside. He took off to chase women or carouse with the boys, and I was certain I was going to find his mangled, fuzzy remains somewhere. Thank the cat gods (Who would that be, Bastet?,) he finally returned home the other night. (He was full of adrenaline and immediately beat up on all the other cats. I guess that was his special way of staging a reunion.)

I won't even mention the haircut I'm not happy with (hair in retrograde!,) or the overly ambitious new recipes I tried to make for dinner (think Stir Fry from Hell and Embarrassingly Undercooked Fish.)

I know, you could simply conclude that I'm a doofus and a klutz, and that these things just mean I'm a loser.

But 'fess up. . . haven't you been a loser, too, these past few weeks?

Smile! At least you've got company.

Looking forward to the 20th, when Mercury goes direct - just two happy days away!

Note: I am going to be updating this blog once or twice a week, at minimum, now. So come back and see me sometime, ya hear?

Email me: astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-08-28T20:37:00.000-04:00

Pardon some stream-of-consciousness Mars musings (I knew you'd be kind enough to indulge me! : )

Mars is making its closest pass to the Earth in some 60,000 years. As it does so, it's creating some powerful effects in people. Have you been feeling a little anxious and overeager, like a racehorse at the start gate? (I bet your friends are starting to call you Seabiscuit.) There's a reason for that.

Mars has a tendency to act as a psychic lodestone (or magnet,) drawing to the surface anything that we have repressed (no matter how tidily we feel that we have tucked it away.)

So, if you've been nursing a hankering for Engelbert Humperdinck's music, you won't be able to hide it any longer. You might as well just 'fess up to it! ("Engelbert, you are my God! I love the 70's!")

This does not have to be a bad thing at all. (I mean, having your true passions come to the surface. I refuse to pass judgment on the whole Engelbert thang. Whatever burps your goat.)

For instance, I'm finding that my career ambition and desire for personal expression is becoming stronger, and the outer world is mirroring my desire to come into this power more actively. Opportunities are taking shape in ways that seem to directly mirror my thoughts. There's a very short time between thought and manifestation. ("If you build it, he will come!" - from my favorite Kevin Costner movie, Field of Dreams.)

This is contrasted to what was, by all accounts, a relatively quiet year, full of strategizing and formulating ideas, rather than taking the bull by the horns and running with it.

Lately, I've felt more emboldened, getting confident about pursuing different pet goals that I've be seeking, consciously and unconsciously, for a long time. ("Yes! I will take those tango lessons, even though I have the physical coordination of a slug!")

So, I would welcome you to also look at what positive aspects of yourself you've been repressing over the last few years, and to really get in touch with what they might be. Now is the perfect time to release the energy and express it.

For instance, for single people, if you have a really strong desire to express warmth in a romantic relationship, the day-to-day personal affection stuff, give yourself room to daydream, to envision what it might be like WHEN (not IF!) you connect with that special soulmate. Really envision licking somebody's toes, sniffing their underwear, doing rude things with whipped creme, and all of that good stuff. (Depending on what you're into. Again, I refuse to pass judgment.)

Rehearsing the energy of that experience, that relationship, with your heart engaged, your mind full of inspiration, can be a powerful exercise right now. . . on the level of white magic. Remember: to manifest something in material form, one of the most important pieces of the equation is ardent, heartfelt, passionate DESIRE. (Of course, desire can be used wrongly, as in the decision of the Fox Network to broadcast another round of Temptation Island. What. Were. They. Thinking?)

The black magic types (You know, Darths Vader and Maul) use the lower end of the desire spectrum. . . warping their wishes in a way that is designed to control and manipulate others. We're not talking about that. (Says Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz: "I'm not a witch at all! I'm from Kansas!")

I'm talking about indulging in a wondrous, joyful, and loving expression of your creative energies. You can do it! You should do it! Wonderful things will happen if you do.

So take a moment to give energy to the positive, life-affirming aspects of Mars. You can do so any time over the next six months, as Mars will still be heating things up down here on Earth.

Maybe it's time to borrow some coffee from that sexy neighbor.
(Ask for a personal delivery.)

Maybe you should think about composing your own songs, devising a snappy standup routine, or finishing that short story about badgers that you were working on ages ago. Who knows? You might have some talent. (There's gotta be a badger-loving demographic out there somewhere.)

Pursue those passions with a vengeance, and put them to the test.

Also, for the Aries folks among us, you're going to be kicked into high gear now - what with Mars being your planetary ruler and all.

Leos and Sagittarius (fellow Fire signs) will also be in an especially spunky frame of mind.

Enjoy it! Celebrate this massive dose of firepower! Direct it in a joyful, loving manner, and who knows what miracles we all might be able to create on Earth at this time?

Share you Martian adventures with me at: astrologywriter@comcast.net Jennifer

2003-07-18T11:34:00.000-04:00

Introduction Part Two

I thought I’d take a minute to explain more about the life of this mystic chick. For those of you who don’t know me, I have a background as a psychic counselor. I used to make frequent appearances on FM radio stations across the US, so you may have heard me at some point doing readings and fending off venomous, slathering deejays on the air. (although many of them were nice.) You may also have seen me on TV shows like Sightings or Real Scary Stories, where I offered my insights as a professional ghostbuster. (“Yup, looks like ya gots yerself a ghostie there.”)

I did psychic readings for ten years, but now I write full-time and teach on metaphysical subjects. I’ve written for tons of websites, mostly astrology stuff, and I’ve been a columnist for magazines like Boy Crazy, Total Fitness, Spa, and Joey.

These days I am focusing on something that has become more and more important to me over the years. I have always functioned as sort of a “Dear Abby” of the New Age. Since I was a little girl, people have always been asking me questions like, “How do I clear out a ghost?” “Are angels real?” and “What’s the best way to meditate?”

At this point, I’ve worked with thousands of people, fielding their questions and trying to inspire them with information that is user-friendly, fun, and real. I’m hoping to pull together those questions in one place so that more people can make use of the ideas I present. This blog is a starting point.

I invite you to send me your own questions about “New Age” and spiritual subjects, and I might answer them here on this blog. I am also planning to put a book together at some point that will respond to these subjects. Please note that, if you send me something, I reserve the right to post it here or publish it, and I also reserve the right to edit it -- just for grammar and readability, not for content. (That’s the Virgo editor in me speaking. You’ll have to put up with her from time to time.) I can post it with your contact info or do it anonymously, whichever you might prefer.

Some of the questions that I will be responding to run along the lines of:

What is the meaning of our dreams? If I suddenly find myself at work in a dream, and I’m completely naked, does this mean that an office orgy is in the offing? (And, more importantly, will I have enough time to work out at the gym before attending this orgy?)

Are psychic abilities really all that common, or are they only accessible to scary mediums like the (frequently face-lifted) Sylvia Browne or the all-too-perky John Edwards? And do I really need to learn how to talk to the dead, anyway? I mean, I detested my smelly, mustachioed Aunt Bertha while she was alive. Do I really want her bitching at me from beyond the grave?

If love and light are the keys to enlightenment, why are so many White Lighters depressed and on medication? Why are so many of them single or members of cultish movements? Why are so many of them unable to take care of themselves, in one form or another? Given what they’re experiencing, enlightenment seems over-rated!

Holistic health techniques might work, but they are very weird-sounding to someone who doesn’t understand them. Why would I want to lie down naked on a table and have some strange man (or woman) rub me all over? What are the benefits of that? Isn’t that what a spouse is for?

Why do astrology columns seem so bogus? Are all of those clichés about the signs accurate? What if I’m a sloppy Virgo or a Scorpio who isn’t oversexed – does that make me a mutant?

Is the world of Harry Potter simply an analogy for occult initiation? What’s occult initiation? Can people really cast spells? Should people cast spells? Can I turn my ex-boyfriend into a slug? (Oh, wait, he was already one in the first place.)

Please send me your funky questions and comments. I’ll answer some by email, and others might show up on this blogger.

More soon. Email me:
astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-07-15T15:47:00.000-04:00

Some people don’t like the bawdy humor that I bring to my weekly syndicated astrology column. I’m not quite sure why, since the places that it appears in are usually Village Voice type weeklies who feature salacious ads for transvestite call girls and lascivious “dating” services in their back ad pages. Surely, in this context, a little potty humor shouldn’t be viewed as so outlandish?

But this winter, a newspaper in North Carolina received a deluge of hate mail in response to my column. The editor had dared to make a switch from Rob Brezsny’s column (which has been around forever) to mine. This was more than many readers could tolerate.

Take a look at how one reader called my column “a crime against humanity.”

http://www.mountainx.com/opinion/2003/0521letters.php

Brezsny! Brezsny! Brezsny!

Thank you for switching back to Brezsny! Again you demonstrate and support my faith that this is the best newspaper in North Carolina.
Some of Shepherd's crass statements were absolutely gut-wrenching. The fact that she is perfect for a crime publication says it all – i.e., another crime against humanity (hers).

Humor that includes compassion and understanding (Brezsny's) has it all.
Thanks much.
– Lois Harte, Asheville

[Ed. Note: On March 5, Mountain Xpress switched syndicated astrology columns, from Rob Brezsny's Real World Astrology to Jennifer Shepherd's Cosmic Butt Kick. Based on reader response, we switched back to Brezsny on May 7. Shepherd's column now appears in Snitch, a Louisville, Ky.-based crime weekly.]

Usually, any publicity is good publicity, but, in this case, the editor caved and nixed my column.

A week or two later, it was immediately picked up by several papers who, far from thinking it a crime against humanity, actually thought it was pretty good.

I’m wondering which references this reader objected to. Maybe you can find them in this re-posted column from March. I’m sure several phrases put her knickers in a twist.

The Cosmic Butt Kick
Syndicated Horoscopes for Week of Wednesday, March 5 – Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Aries: Saturn has had you under a cosmic jinx since last October, generating some major episodes of cluelessness. It’s no surprise that, during this period, you became convinced that you couldn’t live without a feather boa or a tattoo dedicated to someone named “Ricki” (whose phone number you can’t even locate at this point.) Fortunately, Saturn recently shifted into a more positive position. It will take a while for you to reconstruct that hip persona. (For several weeks, you’ll still be convinced that Grammy-winner Norah Jones must be Jenny Jones’ daughter.) But, gradually, you’ll see improvement.

Taurus: As an Earth sign, you are addicted to routines. But it ain’t sexy when your partner can anticipate every move you are about to make in the bedroom. If your lover has recently been shouting out a bewildering assortment of names during coitus, and none of them belongs to you, you’d better learn to improvise real quick. The Moon’s lusty trine to Venus will give you an extra dose of inspiration. Speed-read the Kama Sutra and memorize positions like “The Garden Hose” or “The Flowing Fountain.” (No, wait a minute. I said Kama Sutra, not The Home Improvement Manual.)

Gemini: With a second quarter Moon in your sign, you’re at the mid-point in making a decision. Perhaps you have just about decided to have that sex change operation, after all. Or maybe you’ve given up on finding a job and are preparing to register for graduate school – again. You might even consider making a romantic commitment to that luscious someone who has been keeping you wet and wild all winter. You’ll finalize this decision about the same time that Ben Affleck marries J’Lo (that is, maybe never. Check with your publicist come springtime.)

Cancer: You’ve always been known as the emotional type. Renditions of the national anthem make you weep with fervent patriotism. The hokey feel-good endings of The Bachelorette and Joe Millionaire caused you to empty the Kleenex aisle at the store. And, during the recent slew of Michael Jackson specials, you truly felt The Gloved One’s pain. The Sun in sensitive Pisces is giving you an especially thin skin. For another week or so, it’s best to avoid the 24 Hour Terror Channels (CNN, Fox, and the like) – unless you enjoy being the victim of blatant emotional manipulation.

Leo: You tend to take your relationships at face value. You exhibit dizzying levels of trust, even when they aren’t deserved. But with Venus opposite Jupiter, you could find yourself questioning a loved one’s sincerity. Is Horny Hal acting less horny? Could this be because he is seeing somebody else? Or is Touchy-Feely Tina suddenly shying away from your touch and, if so, then who’s been feeling her up? Although you could be worried that your honey has become The Young and the Restless, you’ve probably got nothing to worry about. (Astrologer’s disclaimer: Please note that I said “probably.”)

Virgo: This week, Uranus moves opposite your sign, which is a polite way of saying that things will feel ass-backwards. You could have an unsettled feeling, as if your usual, down-to-earth style no longer suits you. As Uranus journeys through sensual Pisces over the next seven years, start cultivating a more decadent attitude. Learn to schedule champagne brunches with clients. Adopt strenuous sex as a fitness regimen instead of dull aerobics class. If you’re continuing your education, balance Accounting 101 with whimsical subjects like feng shui or bonsai cultivation. Mix business with pleasure, and success can be yours.

Libra: Lately, you’ve been feeling like a star forced to attend yet another awards show (yawn), or a barista making his 3000th latte. Routine of any kind has grown confining. The Moon is hooking up with Saturn in whimsical Gemini, bringing about an eleventh hour rescue. Maybe Spielberg will call and insist that he needs you immediately on a movie set in Tahiti. Or that corporate recruiter could notify you that Company X, with the excellent benefits, killer work hours, and drop dead gorgeous boss is eager to hire you at an unbelievable salary. (Pinch me. I must be dreaming.)

Scorpio: Juno, the asteroid of relationship fidelity, is going retrograde in your sign. This means that, just when you had gotten comfortable with a current relationship, you could have a dose of panic. You specialize in paranoia, anyway, but don’t make a 911 call to Dr. Phil just yet. You’re not Lisa-Marie Presley and Nicholas Cage or Billy Bob Thorton and Angelina Jolie. Things haven’t yet reached the place of no return. Sure, your romance might need a little tweaking, but a nice bottle of cabernet, some massage oil, and a seductive CD could work wonders.

Sagittarius: A social climber has always lived inside of you. You envied Marla Maples (back when she was still married to The Donald.) And you’ve long admired Tom Arnold’s approach to success (“Bed the fat woman and get a career out of it.”) This week, the Sun is square networker Pluto, skewing your ability to form helpful contacts. If you’re not careful, Robert Blake will call for a date or O.J. Simpson might decide that you are the gorgeous blonde he has been looking for all of his life. Invest in running shoes and get out of a fishy situation, fast.

Capricorn: Since Mars moved into your sign, you’ve been ready to serve up a big can of whoopass on somebody. You want to rip that arrogant boss a new bunghole, or you’re eager to bomb somebody back to the Stone Age. But with a sensitive Moon opposite Mars, it’s best to consider how the other guy feels. Maybe your boss only acts like a prick because he is lacking one of his own. Or perhaps that overseas nation isn’t really as heavily armed with weapons of mass destruction as the pundits would have you believe. Temper severity with compassion.

Aquarius: As a sign who possesses strong intuition, you’re always clued into cosmic vibes. You can predict Oscar winners with ease. You always know which team will kick butt at the Super Bowl. And you have an uncanny ability to sense when a lover is about to lob one of those dangerous questions your way (“Do these bellbottoms make me look fat?” “You like listening to John Tesh as much as I do, right?”) With Venus conjunct Neptune, your psychic abilities will be magnified times ten. Just go ahead and change your name to Miss Cleo or Jonathan Edward already.

Pisces: This week, Uranus enters your sign, which sounds more painful than it really is. You’ll feel more confident than ever that your grand plans will come to fruition. Surely, you’ll soon find an investor to back your magnificent business plan. (After all, selling belly button lint over the Internet is a can’t-miss concept!) And, even if your last date was back when Michael Jackson had a normal nose, you’ll realize that you still possess considerable charms. (Who can resist a dating profile that lists “orchid collecting” and “badger sniffing” as favorite hobbies?) A positive attitude is everything.

Jennifer Shepherd (astrologywriter@comcast.net) believes that boring horoscopes pose the greatest risk to national security.

(Editor's note: She also believes that people who are humor-impaired should be regarded as "persons of interest," i.e., suspicious characters.)

2003-07-09T10:49:00.000-04:00

Astrology Tidbits for July 9 - July 14, 2003

Since I don’t have space in my weekly syndicated column to go into much depth about astrology stuff, I thought I’d include some bits and pieces here as interesting things come up.

Right now, a group of planets are having a conversation in the Water sign of Cancer. The Sun, Mercury, and Venus will all be in this sign until July 14, when Mercury moves on to Leo.

Triple doses of Water are tough on Fire signs. If you’re an Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius, you’re probably feeling a little soggy. So much Water tends to dampen your spirits and make you question whether everything is going to work out okay or if you need to make a drastic change. But it’s too soon to join the Peace Corps and move to Nepal. And avoid eloping with dank and dusty strangers you meet in bars out of sheer desperation. Forget shaving your head. Take a deep breath, and don’t press the Panic button.

After the 14th, as everything starts to move into Fire sign Leo, you’ll have a new lease on life. Until then, cultivate an unapologetic laziness. Practice sipping champagne mimosas or rum punches by the pool until you’re an expert at it. Devour fluffy chick lit like The Devil Wears Prada or lose yourself in the adrenalized plot of a John Grisham book. You know that calm you feel after a thunderstorm passes through? That’s what you’ll be experiencing in a week or two. (Promise. You can hold me to it.)

You Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) and Air signs (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) will be feeling introspective now. Take this time to get your thoughts together. Figure out what you really want to be when you grow up. The truth, should you uncover it, might be a bit of a surprise. You could find that, instead of majoring in accounting, you really want to start your own tattoo parlor. Or maybe, instead of servicing computers for a living, you’ll launch your own dating services for people with unusual talents. (You never know. Cloggers.com or Lollipoplovers.net could become popular online gathering places.)

Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) will be coasting through the next week, surfing some groovy cosmic waves. Enjoy a break from your cares. You deserve it, because you’ve been working your butt off since last March.

Report back to me on your progress: astrologywriter@comcast.net

2003-07-08T16:19:00.000-04:00

An Introduction

Welcome to the world of a humorist/astrologer/mystic chick. (I bet you didn’t even know that such a species even existed! What, you never watch The Nature Channel?)

We are somewhat of an endangered species. The minute that someone has the gall to talk about psychic abilities, astrological tidbits, or spiritual techniques, people tend to react to her in one of two ways:

1) “Eek! She has cooties!” or
2) “Ohh, she must be a goddess. Let me lick her toes and prostrate myself to this guru so that I can become enlightened.”

The alleged psychic person (who is probably pretty damned sensitive in the first place) will usually run for the hills and bury her head in the sand, never to be heard from again. After all, who wants to go around feeling like a leper just because she dares to assert that the sixth sense is real? (Actually, we have more than six senses. . . more on that later.) And who wants to deal with all the pressure of being thought to be an infallible guru, since none of us are perfect, and the truth is bound to get out, sooner or later! (I mean, I’m still trying to put some distance between me and those unfortunate Riverdance lessons. . . )

Suffice it to say that 1) I do not have cooties (at least, my latest checkup turned out okay) and 2) I am not on the path of becoming anybody’s guru (much as it might be pleasant to have my toes licked from time to time.)

I will not be using this blog as a platform to reveal The Ultimate Answer to Everything.

Unless I’m in the mood to. And then you’ll have the choice of reading it or moving on to other worthwhile projects, like, say, downloading the latest Sims celebrity and making him or her do naughty things by the virtual pool. (Hey, I don’t care how you get your entertainment. That’s your business.)

One of my current projects is an unconventional astrology column that I self-syndicate. In the year or so since “The Cosmic Butt Kick” debuted, it has spread (like a virus, my critics tell me) to reach over 700,000 readers. This sassy feature combines snarky pop cultural commentary, potty humor, and real astrology in one randy, bohemian mix. In some of the places that it is published, it is called, “The Cosmic Informer.” (This happens in regions where an editor is antsy about using the word “butt” in a title. I’ve never understood that reasoning. I mean, the editors have butts, right? Isn’t the butt one of those universal things that all of us can identify with? Don’t these editors sit down each day on their tookus like everybody else?)

In part, this blog has been created to reach those readers, although I also welcome more accidental, “synchronistic” visitors. If you were looking for another sort of “Cosmic Butt” and ended up here by mistake, I urge you to stick around for a bit. Afterwards, you can still check out the Jennifer Lopez site.

I plan to make frequent, funky, and possibly insightful entries. As blogger.com is going through some changes, there could be some growing pains along the way. But let me extend an official handshake to all of you who might be reading this now and say, “Welcome to the cosmic part-ee!”

You can currently find “The Cosmic Butt Kick” in places like Las Vegas City Life; Access Atlanta; and Snitch (of Louisville, Kentucky). Each of these weekly arts newspapers publishes the shorter version of my column. You can read it online here:

http://www.snitch.com/cat_horoscopes.html

Comments, pot shots, and general weird inquiries expected at: astrologywriter@comcast.net