The Cosmic Butt Kick

Lipstickmystic.com is Up and Running!

Yay! My new website, http://www.lipstickmystic.com, is finally up and running. You can access my new blog from there. Just go to the main page and click on the little star that says "blog." That will direct you to http://lipstickmystic.blogspot.com, where I will be posting all future blog entries. I'll be making frequent changes to the website, and I will be writing in the blog nearly every day.

I invite questions, comments, and your own mystical experiences, because I will be responding to these and posting many of them in my new Mystic Mail section. Also, if you have an astrological conundrum, do write to me, and I can take a quick peek at your chart and give you some tips on how to surf the cosmic waves with a minimum of trouble.

So, sniff, I guess it's time to bid adieu to this blog. After writing in it for over a year, I feel like it has become a family member. You've been good to me, Butt Kick! I'll miss ya!

Still, I can't feel too sad. After all, I am the proud mother of a new bouncing baby website, and I just can't wait for all of my readers to find their way there.

So come join the party at http://www.lipstickmystic.com. Something groovy is always happening in the Mystic Zone!

editor@lipstickmystic.com

Please Bookmark My New Blog Address

Hi everyone. I'm in the process of launching my new website, and from there, you'll be able to access my new blog. The blog is operative right now, and the site is mostly viewable, with a few occasionally glitches as we add new features. Call it a "soft launch" at this point. The whole thing should be finalized by September 2nd at the latest. (That's when Mercury is out of retrograde, so I figure that most problems should be smoothed over by then.)

The new website if you'd like to bookmark it is:

www.lipstickmystic.com

You can access my new blog from the website. Just go to the site and hit the little star that says "blog." That will take you to the new blog. Or you can bookmark it directly:

http://lipstickmystic.blogspot.com

I can't wait for you to see the finished site! I'll have lots of changing articles, guest interviews, astro-updates, Q &A features from readers, and more. This is going to function more as a dynamically changing e-zine than just some boring resume in space (like so many websites are.) And you won't find articles about the aliens landing and taking over the planet, the coming destruction of the Earth, or conspiracy theories that are so depressing that they're guaranteed to leave you curled up in a pile of your own filth, sucking your thumb from sheer overwhelm. (Those sites have their place, but geez, lighten up, people! Every month, it seems that some New Age type is saying that the world is going to end tomorrow. All these announcements do is send people into fear and panic. And you know what? Last time I checked, the world was still here.)

Okay, I must run and do more work creating groovy material for the site. It's so exciting! I feel like an expectant mother ready to give birth to, well, something.

editor@lipstickmystic.com

Time is Acting Strange

Okay, this is an official survey of sorts. Has time been acting strange in YOUR reality lately?

I ask because it has been in mine, and it has been with many other people I'm coming across, too.

I'm not just talking about a feeling of deja vu, which we've all had. You know what that's like. That's when an event that you are experiencing seems to go into "instant replay" in your mind, as if you are watching things play out for the second time in a row. Somehow, you know that you've seen that scene, heard that particular conversation, or observed that person before. And yet, logically, you know that you COULDN'T have.

I had a very strong deja vu two days ago coming back from a trip to Florida. Standing in the baggage claim, my honey and I were trying to figure out if we were standing at the right place. The information was a little confusing on the TV screens that were above us. He went to go check things out. When he got back, I went into this extremely strong deja vu where I looked at a girl standing in front of us who was also waiting for her bags, then I looked at him, and then I looked up at the TV screen for more info about our bags, and then I listened as my sweetie told me the luggage carousel had been changed and our luggage would now be coming out of a different chute. As this whole sequence of minor events happened, I was very aware of knowing exactly what was going to happen next. I knew I was going to hear him say that the luggage carousel had been changed right after I saw the girl, because somehow, I'd seen it all happen before. It was like it was all a re-enactment or a repeat of an earlier time it had happened.

But yesterday, time was acting even more strange. My honey went through a weird spell in the afternoon when he had to write a check, and as he was writing the date, part of him wasn't clear what year this was, even though he was PRETTY sure it was 2004. There was a sudden lack of awareness about the year, a feeling of unreality about it all. It had us a little spooked, quite frankly, because you always worry about a minor stroke when something like that happens. Fortunately, we had him checked out, and he was fine.

I've had things happen lately where I wake up in the morning from a vivid dream that seems to take place in a parallel reality (a world different from this one, yet somehow linked to it) and, when I wake up, I'm not sure what the time is, either. I sometimes don't know the day or the month or the year! It's a brief thing, but I'll tell you, when your awareness of time suddenly seems to slip away from you (and you haven't been smoking anything weird lately or drinking yourself into a stupor,) it's a little scary!

I was emailing a friend about this, and she shared with me that some strange stuff has been happening for HER with time, especially yesterday, around the same time this weird displacement in time was happening with us. She had her clock on her computer go wonky on her. (No biggie, I know, because computer clocks can be notoriously inaccurate.) But then other clocks in her house were suddenly off, and it wasn't logical. I mean, when you have different types of clocks that are normally synchronized suddenly stop or show up with a time that's an hour ahead or an hour behind, does that make sense?

It's as if the very thing that the clocks were measuring - i.e., time itself- was behaving badly, and it wasn't letting itself be measured in the usual way.

Have YOU been experiencing any time burps? Any temporal anomalies? Any time warps? What do you call these things, anyway? When a whole bunch of people are experiencing them who are way too young to be Alzheimer's candidates and who can't be completely, collectively, crazy (although sometimes we come close!) then just what is going on?

Send your time warp stories to me at:

editor@lipstickmystic.com

****Please note that I will be shifting out of writing entries in this blog and will be making most of my future entries at a new blog site. This new blog will accompany my website, and the blog is already up and running now. You might want to bookmark it:

http://lipstickmystic.blogspot.com

See you there!

Request for Your Input

As I prepare to launch my new website in a few weeks, I'm putting together articles, Q &A features, and all manner of goodies. I can't wait to share them with you. 

It came to me as I was going through past articles and features that I've written that I'd love to receive more input from YOU, my loyal readers, about what areas of holistic health, spirituality, and psychic phenomena interest you the most. Lipstickmystic.com is a site designed to give YOU user-friendly and fun insights about how to better access the intuitive and mystical aspects of your life. I'm sort of the Dear Abby of the New Age, and, while I've already collected lots of comments and questions from people, I'd love to receive more questions from YOU about what's on your mind TODAY regarding these topics.

So I invite you to submit questions to me, and I may post responses to your emails at the site.  You're welcome to just use your initials and your location (a lot of readers, say, don't mind being identified as A. R, Boston, Massachusetts, but they don't want their entire name and contact info posted.)  I can assure you that if you want your personal info kept private, it will be.

I will be out of town and out of computer range until next Tuesday, but in the meantime, you are welcome to send me your comments, suggestions, and questions for my new site.

What do YOU most want to see talked about at the site?

Are there any features you'd be most enthusiastic about seeing - such as astrology updates, discussion forum, "How-to" articles on a specific subject?

Is there anything you are sick and tired of in the "New Age/alternative" community, stuff that you'd like the site to steer clear of?  (I can tell you now that this will not function as a paranoid conspiracy website and that it won't promote any cult ideology or negative stuff.  However, it will empower you to have more "street smarts" as you navigate the world of the New Age.)

Do you have any personal experiences that involve intuition, the paranormal, or holistic healing that you'd like to briefly share in a letter to the editor? If so, I may respond with comments and post to the site.

Thanks very much in advance for contributing your suggestions and ideas.  My website designer is working hard to put together a site that will be THE hottest place for mystical fun and intuitive insight on the Net!  I can't wait for you to see it.

More soon,
Jennifer
newagetalk@comcast.net

The Perils of Publishing

Yikes! The more I delve into this self-publishing business, the more insidious and chilling things I learn about traditional publishing.  For instance, did you know that:

1) When an author works with a traditional publishing house, they are lucky to earn $1.00 per book for each book sold? And these earnings trickle in roughly two and a half years after the book has been completed?

2) When an author works with a traditional publishing house, there is an extremely narrow time frame for a book to "succeed." Authors are given about a three month window after their book is published to turn their book into a big seller. Then, if the books aren't selling well, the book may no longer be shipped to stores. Space is a big consideration, and there just isn't room for all bookstores to stock every book that is newly in print.

3) If an author's book doesn't sell well within that time window and it is no longer actively being supplied to stores, it goes into a weird book purgatory where the title is still listed as being in print, yet it's not physically in stores. Authors who want to move to a self-publishing model for that book are screwed because the printing rights don't revert back to them until it has been removed from the listing in catalogues (which happens, basically, never.)

4) Even if an author self-publishes, getting into bookstores may not be a very smart move for them. Distributors and wholesalers (the middle men who are actually the ones who get your book into bookstores with their sales reps pushing titles) take such huge discounts on your book that you are lucky to BREAK EVEN on each book you sell through a distributor or wholesaler and through a bookstore. 

Publishing is a business.  I think you have to run it like one. Businesses are supposed to turn a profit, right?  Authors really need to keep this in mind instead of getting all caught up in the artist's dream of seeing their book in print.  They need to take more control of the reins so that their rights will be actively protected. I don't know about you, but I don't think it makes any sense for a professional writer not to earn money from their writing, does it?  You don't, say, go into hairdressing just for the privilege of seeing your hairdos on people's heads. You do get paid for your time and energy.  And you don't perform brain surgery just to feel good about helping people (although the better doctors do still care about their patients.) You expect to be paid something for your expertise, your blood, sweat, and tears.

I think the problem is that the publishing industry has become way out of whack. Publishers are afraid to invest in an untested author even when they love the author's writing because they are in fear of  their distributors and wholesalers.  For instance, about half of the editors at major publishing houses who liked my book proposal and sample chapters earlier this year said they'd love to publish me but didn't think that I had a wide enough reach across the U.S. to sell books. (I think this verbiage was straight out of their marketing/salespeople's mouths.)  I found that strange, as I have over 2 million readers and have a background in radio and can make a phone call TOMORROW and get on dozens of radio stations (because morning show producers LOVE having an astrologer or psychic on who will do readings over the air. They are dying to find polished, funny psychics, especially ones with a performing background, like I have.)  So my plan has always been to move into a routine where I'm on at least a dozen shows per month for the life of my book, in addition to maintaining a fun, active website and writing for tons of publications.  You'd think that this would be a winning strategy, don't you?  But some of the editors actually said, "It's not like she has a TV show or anything."  As if, to be a professionally published book author, you have to have a TV show first! 

Absolutely insane.  Breathtakingly so.

This dialogue was happening even though a well-known TV producer has been pitching my unpublished life story for development as a sitcom.  I'm certainly closer to "having a TV show" than a lot of other writers.  But I don't think that should even figure into the equation.  Quality writing, a winning marketing strategy, and solid credits SHOULD be able to get you a book contract, ideally speaking.

I walked away from the whole process of submitting to major publishers some months back.  Their reality was far too dysfunctional. You know how the media in general seems to bent on making people feel too fat, too ugly, too poor, too whatever?  And how these picture perfect celebritites are thrown in our faces?  Well, it turns out that publishing conducts itself like a Hollywood business. No matter how good you think you are, the traditional publishing industry will quickly tell you that you've got it wrong - you're no good at all.

I approach it now like I would any personal relationship. You wouldn't maintain a romantic relationship with someone who was always telling you you were no good.  Neither should you build a financial future with a business that is bent on making you feel like dirt and filling your head with senseless distractions that have nothing to do with writing, reaching people, inspiring and entertaining readers, or spreading mystical and spiritual information across the land.

That's what it's all about for me, and it's great to return to some semblance of sanity and to get back to basics.

So - the plan is to market my books directly off my website and through a 1-800 number which will take you to the handy fulfillment center I'm contracting with to handle all of my orders. That frees me up to write cool articles, quizzes, and features for YOU, my loyal readers, plus connect with you via the radio, and allows me to do what I feel highly motivated to do - namely, empower you with information and ideas that will add to your quality of life and lift your spirits.

That's what it's always been about. 

newagetalk@comcast.net

 

 

Mysterious Creature Lurks in Baltimore County!

Well, really, he's just a little hairy cuss, kind of cute, rather wombat or dingo-ish looking.  But a man photographed an anomalous creature recently in his backyard, and scientists haven't been able to identify it as any known species.

You can read about the critter and check out the photos here:

http://www.thewbalchannel.com/news/3545312/detail.html

There have been a lot of reports lately about animals that appear to have fallen through the cracks from another dimension.  Not all of these accounts can be fake. There are simply too many stories with accompanying video or photos.  Most of these creatures don't appear to be harmful. They're not man-eaters.  They are simply strange beings who don't clearly belong to any one species, and they have animal experts baffled.

Mystics, Native American seers, New Agers, and many others have long been saying that we're in the process of shifting dimensions, and there's an alteration of how we experience life here in this reality.  Some people say this is an external thing - that the very Earth herself is shifting into a new type of energy, carrying us along with her.  And others talk about humanity experiencing a shift in consciousness, which will affect how we perceive life on Earth.  I don't know about you, but in the relatively short (35 years) I've been on this planet, I feel that the way I process information, sense energy, and experience time have all shifted.  Things don't seem to proceed in a straight line for me anymore.  It's hard to describe, but it really does feel like the fabric of time is changing.

Also, my psychic senses have increased quite a lot since my initial awakening at 16.  I don't know that this makes me "special" in any way.  In fact, I don't think it does.  It's more like the way our brains and nervous systems respond to our environment is shifting, and for some people, these changes are more noticeable than others.  For me, I live a quiet life and make room in my schedule for lots of meditation time. (Sometimes known as contemplating the interior of my eyelids - aka a nap!)  So I seem to take heed of things that are odd, intriguing, or synchronistic in my life, and I always have part of my attention focused on mystical matters. Many people don't do this, and I think that's why they may not be noticing changes as much.  One thing that EVERYBODY seems to be experiencing, though, is an apparent collapse of time.  Time is shorter, and it seems sped up and a bit funky.  I think this has to do with the energy shifts that are happening here.

Along the way, as these shifts happen, holes or rips in the fabric of space/time can open up.  I believe this might account for animals suddenly appearing who have never been seen before on this planet.  Maybe they are part of a NEW planet that is right here in front of us. Or perhaps they're slipping in through portals from other worlds.

I wouldn't put too much stock in the whole weird animal sighting thing if I hadn't experienced this myself.  I'm fortunate enough to live on a lovely farm in the country which is built on sacred ground. Rose quartz appears naturally here in the rock bed, and the farm's name is Crystal Springs Farm because there are several natural springs here.  The energy here is very special, and mystical energies seem to gather here.  We're sitting right on some powerful vortices, ley lines of Earth energy, and we regularly do shamanic healing work to clear out the area as best we can.

On several occasions, my honey and I have seen a strange animal on the property who doesn't fit any known species.  He's a little guy, a bit like the critter you'll see in the above-referenced article about the animal who appeared i n that Baltimore area backyard.  He kind of looks like a cross between a coyote, a fox, and a wild dog, but he also has the long tail of a wildcat.  But he's not a cat.  Dark-colored.  About the size of a medium-sized dog.

I've seen coyotes in the wild before, and it's not a coyote.  We also have several foxes who live nearby.  (In fact, I had the pleasure of watching an adorable red fox the other evening frolicking in a field outside, trying to catch butterflies.)  This unusual or "anomalous" creature definitely isn't a fox.  And I know my wildcats pretty well, and this isn't in the feline family.

Others in the area have described seeing this same creature on their property, so we know we're not delusional.

So, we figure he's just a visitor, perhaps a messenger to let us know that there are these occasional "bleed-throughs" from other realities and dimensions as we undergo these planetary shifts.  I think this is all a good thing.

Have YOU seen anything unusual lately?  And what are your thoughts on the creature I described?  Is it time for me to call Scully and Mulder, do you think? :)

lipstickmystic@comcast.net

Are You Successful Yet?
 
Today I spent an hour at my favorite coffeehouse, scribbling away on my latest horoscope column, hoping that the caffeine in my pot of Earl Gray tea would jump-start my brain and inspire the 40 or so jokes I have to work into each weekly Cosmic Butt Kick.  Let me tell you, some weeks, it ain't easy.  I feel like I'm doing a fresh comedy routine each week, only that would be easier.  First I have to research all the astrological information on what the planets are doing.  Then I have to spend hours looking up recent news events and getting my facts straight. Then I throw it all together and create a unique cosmic gumbo that, hopefully, will be tasty to readers and put a smile on their face.  Writing this column is the big hurdle of the week, the thing that takes up all of my thoughts and energy.  Any other work I'm trying to do comes after and around that.
 
While I appreciate having the opportunity to reach readers through my syndicated column, I also appreciate being paid.  And, sometimes, clients just "forget" to pay me.  The arts weeklies who are kind enough to publish me are all struggling, and some months, that advertising revenue doesn't come in as quickly as the accounting department might like, and my invoices get "misplaced."  Still, my column is published each week, along with my byline, so I can at least have the satisfaction? pride? misplaced sense of hubris? that I can still call myself a professional writer.  Even if you're paid pennies, or, as has been the case lately, a dribble of pennies every other month or so, you're still a professional.
 
Besides writing the column, I'm constantly submitting proposals and "spec" material to other publications - magazines, websites, newspapers - you name it.  And, oh, yes, I've been involved with a ludicrous and exhausting "chase for fame" over the past two years.  I've written four book proposals, which is like writing your dissertation four times - not a pleasant process.  With all the marketing research, outlines, PR material, and sample chapters I had to include, all available brain cells were taken up with creating that stuff.  The chase for fame is winding down now, thank goodness.  Life is returning to some semblance of sanity.
 
Some.
 
At the coffeehouse today I bumped into my buddy Rudy, a friendly, sharp and creative fellow whom I chat with a couple of times each month.  We've had some lovely discussions over the past two years that I've known him, rambling on about everything from child-rearing to psychology to religion.  Along the way, I've kept him updated about the latest blow-by-blow of my publishing misadventures.  He's my cheerleader, always egging me on, encouraging my efforts. 
 
Today he was excited to see me.  I would have enjoyed chatting with him for a while, but, alas, I was on another deadline and my brains were fried.  No circuits were free for random chit-chat, and he sensed that.  He sweetly wiped a table clean of crumbs for me so I could spread out all of my notebooks and messy papers (the detritus of the writer.)  He asked me, "So tell me, are you successful yet?  I'm rooting for you! I want to see your name up in lights."
 
Am I successful yet? 
 
Well, I woke up healthy, well-fed, housed in a nice home, next to my honey and surrounded by adoring cats.  That's successful.
 
I woke up without depleted uranium polluting my environment and ruining my neighborhood's health for the next century or so (unlike some people in Iraq and Afghanistan.)
 
I woke up knowing that, much as the power of censorship is alive and well, I could express myself openly and fully, in written or spoken form, without fear of arrest (at least for the moment.)
 
I do feel very blessed and abundant in all of the things that really count, and I truly give thanks for these things every day.
 
And I know that Rudy, bless his heart, was just eager for the latest update about my TV and book publishing adventures. 
 
But it's funny - all I could think was - what creates success?  Is it something we define for ourselves, or is it something we allow others to define for us? Is it an inner state or an outer one?  Is it ours, or does it belong to somebody else? Is it an experience we are having or an experience others are having about us?
 
Am  I unsuccessful because I don't have a TV show in development based on my unpublished memoir, even though a producer pitched it last year and might pitch it again sometime in 2004?
 
Am  I unsuccessful because I haven't won the lottery lately? (Or ever, for that matter.)  Does my lack of millions mean that I'm a failure? I haven't been able to loll about naked, fondling oodles of cash in recent months.  Does that mean I'm a complete loser?
 
What about the approbation of people in the New York publishing world?  As my proposals made the round last year, a good percentage of the editors who saw my stuff said I was a great writer and they'd love to publish me, but when they took my material to their sales director, marketing staff, and PR people, those folks said that they didn't think I had a big enough readership to guarantee that my book could "break out" in its category.
 
That one was a head scratcher. I have over 2 million readers.  I am the author of over 3000 professionally published columns, articles, essays, and humor pieces.  I've appeared on dozens of radio stations and will be on many more in the years to come.
 
What do you need, exactly, to land a book contract with a major publisher?   Is it even possible anymore for people whose last name doesn't happen to be Clinton to receive a book contract, with even the customary average advance of $10,000 (15% of which goes to your literary agent?)
 
Am I not successful because of other people's lack of vision, commitment, passion, or "enthusiasm? " (That's the stock response of editors when they don't like your stuff.  "Thanks for the opportunity to read this, but I'm afraid it didn't generate sufficient enthusiasm to justify a contract at this time.")
 
Just how does a book proposal generate "enthusiasm?"  Does it need to come equipped with a little cheerleader inside who will jump up and down while waving her pom-poms?  If so, I wasn't informed about it.  Guess I missed the boat on that one.
 
It was a very heady and exhausting two years, expecting a publishing or TV contract any moment and ending up with, well, the experience of having been, by turns, hopeful, exhausted, and then resigned.  This January an editor was dangling a potential six figure deal in front of me and made noises about doing a series with me.  
 
What teases they all are.  How happy I am to have my life back, quiet though it is.  My immediate sphere of influence is currently devoid of managers, agents, and publicists, and I have to say that I like it very much.
 
Self-publishing is now more affordable, available, and practical than it has ever been. And when you have a 30 book series like I do that you're working on, and nobody else is willing to pony up any cash to help you birth your babies, you just gotta do it yourself.
 
Loyal readers, please be patient. My website should be up by the end of August or early September at the latest.  Meanwhile, books and articles and lots of fun stuff are on their way. 
 
I've just had to do a lot of adapting as various other pathways to publication have dried up. 
 
Oh, I could have kept submitting my material through the nice agent I was working with at the end.  Many smaller, quirky publishers would have probably loved my stuff. They would have paid me $2000-$10,000 and it would have taken two years before the book came out.  I'd still be expected to do all of the marketing myself, and there would be no guarantee that my book would ever make it to bookstores, much less be sitting on the shelves for more than three months.  (The average release doesn't stay in a store long. If the books aren't flying off the shelves into the hands of eager customers, they tend to get remaindered and shipped back to the warehouse.)
 
I've realized that my level of commitment about getting these works into print is very high.  I'm not willing to barter with my soul or my creative energy, allowing others to control the sales, marketing, and distribution process.  (Especially when there's zero money in it if I do it their way, anyway.)
 
Sigh.
 
So I didn't really know what to tell Rudy when he asked "Are you succesful yet?" meaning "Have others trumpeted your talents and desireability to the world?"
 
I think success has a different definition.
 
Success is being a sovereign being whom nobody else owns, controls, harms, or limits.  Success is taking your message to the people directly and letting them decide if they like it.
 
I've made a lot of adjustments to my attitude over the past six months.  I'm no longer waiting for Hollywood to call.  Well, I shouldn't say that. I did just email my producer friend to see if she is still interested in pitching my material for the 2005 season.  She has a new sitcom on the fall lineup for 2004, which is great, but I don't know if that means there's no room to do my project or if it just means she'd like to pitch it as a season replacement or alternative project.
 
Or maybe my Hollywood karma is all dried up.  That's okay, too.  I was never too certain of it, anyway.
 
There are many ways to reach people.  There are many ways to spread love, laughter, and ideas. 

I'll get there, one way or another. 
 
And, if my soul remains intact, I'll consider myself a success.  That's what it's all about - honoring your spirit's yearnings and the inspiration of the heart, and not letting anybody steal them away from you.
 
lipstickmystic@comcast.net